Reload
by Crimson Coin
Summary: Sawyer has faced his judgement and cannot move on in the afterlife and Juliet does not let him face this judgement alone. With a second chance, Sawyer has the opportunity to do it all right both in life and with the woman he loved and so tragically lost.
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: Reload

**Author: ** Crimson Coin

**Rating**: T. This is a tough one. T for teen possibly bordering on R for violence.

**Copyright:** This fan fiction is by no means intended to infringe on any copyright. I do not own the characters nor the series lost. My ideas are my own.

**Genre:** Drama/Romance

**Pairing:** The romantic pairing is Juliet/Sawyer – as per canon.

**Summary**: After a life of crime, Sawyer must prove himself worthy of an afterlife. A continuation from the series finale.

**Note: ** Hello all. It has been quite some time since I've written a fan fiction and I thought to finally get back into things. Let me know what you think, be brutal, be kind. I love reviews. This is a multiple part story and going to be slightly AU. If there is lore errors or anything of the like (other than the fact that I will be AUish) feel free to correct me and I will alter the story to fit. Thanks for your patience and I hope you enjoy.

Home

Her kiss was home. He had kissed many women in his life and none felt like Juliet. Everything was new and familiar. He knew how to kiss her, knew exactly what she liked and nearly grinned in delight at her choked moan. He barely caught his breath as her lips parted from his before she pulled him closer for another kiss. It was his turn to groan.

The second kiss tasted bitter sweet, salty with her tears. He cupped her cheeks and gently eased her back from the kiss. He pressed his forehead to hers and sighed, eyes closed. "Juliet."

She laughed then cried, torn between the two extreme emotions. "James. James, is it really you?"

He smirked. "No, Sweetheart, it's some other obnoxious hick shovin' his tongue down yer throat."

She buried her face into his throat and inhaled then laughed, shaking her head. Words escaped her.

James smiled and rubbed her back. He dreamt of this moment for years, to feel her in his arms again. There was so much to say to her, so much left unsaid from the last time he saw her.

Juliet tilted her head just slightly, licking her lips as she gazed up at Sawyer with complete recognition. "I'm sorry I …"

He swallowed the rest of her words, mouth crushing to hers, silencing her. He hummed in response, tasting the deep kiss that haunted both dreams and nightmares. His hands slid around her waist, clenching the slender line of her hips.

The moment was interrupted when someone cleared their throat.

James refused to release her though Juliet smiled against his lips. She hesitated a moment before pulling back. She was on her toes, pressed flush against him, arms bound around his neck. He merely grinned.

As she slid to the ground, she glanced to her right noticing one of the security personnel, a man whose name she never really knew. He blushed and cleared his throat again. "Excuse the intrusion, Dr. Carlson. I saw the lights go out and … well, I can see you're just alright. I'll go hit the breaker."

He laughed. "Ya'd think the man was a prude. Wonder what he woulda done if I had ya pressed against that machine."

Juliet smirked. "Well, this isn't exactly something Dr. Juliet Carlson would normally do."

"Hmm," he tilted his head. "And what is somethin' Dr. Juliet Carlson would do?"

She rested her head on his shoulder, lips at his throat and sighs. "I … I don't know. It's like I'm suddenly a new me."

He grinned. "Come on, Dr. Carlson," the name a sarcastic tone on his tongue. "Let's get outta here."

She took his hand and led him from the hospital.

James didn't question their direction or her intentions. He enjoyed the feel of her hand in his own. His grip tightened, vivid memories of the last time he held her hand flashed through his mind. He wanted to ask her why she let go, why she would leave him. He wanted to demand an answer why she left him alone for those many years. The words refused to form on his lips.

His brow furrowed in confusion as she led him towards a church. He smirked. "So ya already wanna get hitched, huh?"

Juliet laughed. "Don't question, ok? I just … I have this feeling."

"I got a feelin' too. But a church ain't gonna fix it. Maybe the choir loft … or a confessional."

"Oh shut up, James."

His grin broadened at her response and especially when he saw the flicker of amusement in her eyes. Ah, those eyes. He could drown in them.

"So that means we ain't takin' a side track to take care of this feelin'."

She rolled her eyes, slowly shaking her head. "No, we're not taking a side track. James, we have the rest of our lives for that. Just … Something is pulling me here and … come on."

James followed her up into the church and looked around curiously. All of the people he once knew were gathered. People from the flight, friends from the island. There was no question, he followed. Juliet pulled him through the church and soon they sat in one of the pews. He glanced down, watching her hand slide down his forearm before her fingers intertwined with his.

He watched the scenes unfold around him though only half heartedly. His attention fully focused on the woman at his side. He shivered as her hand traced up his arm to cup his cheek. His eyes fluttered and he licks his lips. "Ya feel good, woman. I missed ya. Don't let go again."

His hand tightened as a white light washed over them. He watched as the friends he once knew stood and walked back out the door of the church into pure white light. They disappeared beyond the door.

Juliet smiled. "Are you ready?"

He grinned. "As I'll ever be, Darlin'."

Everyone faded to his eyes except her. He couldn't wipe away the smile as she pulled him to his feet and walked to the door. He stood hesitantly at the door's edge, unable to see what lay beyond. Juliet simply smiled. "Mr. LaFleur, are you afraid?"

"Psht. Afraid? Me? Never! Ladies first." He gave an elaborate performance of waving her beyond first.

Juliet laughed and passed through the doorway. The light around her softened; her hair and skin glowed in the ethereal peace of the beyond. She reached back for him.

He let out a slow whistle. "Beautiful." Then reached for her. But his hand would not pass through the plane of the doorway. He frowned and tried again, this time more forcefully. He slammed a flattened palm against the plane. Nothing. As if a glass barrier blocked the way between him and Juliet.

Her smile faltered and soon her expression was one of panic. She walked up to the doorway to try and pass through back to him. The way blocked, that same invisible blockade separating them. "James!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Title**: Reload

**Author: **Crimson Coin

**Rating**: T. This is a tough one. T for teen possibly bordering on R for violence.

**Copyright:** This fan fiction is by no means intended to infringe on any copyright. I do not own the characters nor the series lost. My ideas are my own.

**Genre:** Drama/Romance

**Pairing:** The romantic pairing is Juliet/Sawyer – as per canon.

**Summary**: After a life of crime, Sawyer must prove himself worthy of an afterlife. A continuation from the series finale.

* * *

The glass wall seemed impenetrable. Juliet pounded on the barrier with a clenched fist. "James? James, this isn't funny."

"Do I look like I'm laughin', Blondie!" Despite jesting words, his voice cracked with panic as he stood and splayed a palm on the glass. His eyes defeated a long moment, staring into her eyes.

Juliet swallowed hard, feeling the pull of eternal peace but she refused to face it, instead keeping focused on James and the entranceway through which she just past. Her hand splayed on the glass too, trying to touch him through the barrier. "James, I don't understand. Push. Push through."

"It ain't workin'." He shoved once more at the wall then stopped as voices from the front of the church said his name. His eyes widen and for the first time in quite a while, he felt fear. Slowly, he turned to the altar of the church.

He saw a pillar of white smoke. It swirled quickly and hovered at the center of the altar. Black streaks of smoke pierced the white pillar then extended outwards before wrapping around the funnel. The black and white never blended but remained separate. The pillar stretched to the height of the church, swallowing the altar and the first few pews. James, wide-eyed, pressed back against the glass.

He heard Juliet bang on the barrier, the deep resonance vibrating in his ears. He faintly heard her voice, his name, her plea. The church darkened, altering. It aged, crumbling. The light extinguished replaced by haunting grey shadows engulfing the corners where once only light resided. The only place light remained was from within the smoke pillar.

The voice from the pillar was odd, a mixture of multiple voices – he couldn't count how many – and on various pitch levels. It was impossible to differentiate one voice from another; they were separate and yet they were one. "James."

He trembled, knees and legs weakening and he ducked his head as the power of the being before him overwhelmed him. His name was repeated. James dropped to his knees.

"You did not atone."

He curled into himself. Juliet slid to her knees behind the wall. "James? James, I don't understand." She looked to the smoke then to James again.

He forced his eyes open, watching as the smoke displayed the visions of his life after leaving the island. He turned away, ashamed, unable to watch the images or Juliet. The visions were of his return to a life of crime, more violent than the last. His robberies, his blatant murders, his slow spiral into depression, alcohol, and drugs, the shady deals, more violence, gun shots. James flinched as each shot rang through the dilapidated church. Every shot he fired, every act. He looked down at his hands, now red with the blood he shed, sticky and warm.

Tears in her eyes, Juliet stroked the glass. "James … why?" He turned at the desolation in her voice, betrayal and abandoned. She shook her head, disappointed. "Why, James? I … you changed."

"I couldn't do it!" He cried and raked a hand through his hair, smudging the blood, staining his face and hair red. His eyes on the smoke again, he saw a vision of a dead boy, no older than 16. He looked away, eyes squeezed close. "I couldn't do it without you. I … wanted to die. I had to die. It was the only thing I knew how to do!"

Juliet watched the smoke again as vision Sawyer sat in a rundown hotel room. The lights of the room flickered, the paint peeling from the wall. A roach scurried from under the bed and into the bathroom, out of sight. The sheets laid rumpled at the foot of the bed and an open condom wrapper, torn in haste rested on the bed stand. He was only in his boxers on a ratted green chair from the 1970's. He sat unmoving in the shadow, a smoldering cigarette hanging loosely from two fingers. The embers glowed as he inhaled slowly then tilted his head back to blow small smoke circles towards the tar stained ceiling.

The Sawyer of the vision glanced to the table and the two rolls of cash. The bills were not visible from the shadows, but the rolls were thick. Juliet's soft voice breaks James of his sorrow and he glances to her, fear and loss in his eyes. "Don't watch, Baby," his voice cracked.

She couldn't look away. In the vision, the outline of a black pistol lay on the table beside the chair in which Sawyer sat. He inhaled from the cigarette again, fingers slowly tracing the line of the pistol in deep thought. With a deep exhale, he snuffed out the cigarette and stood walking to the bed. He sat, silent. The bed creaked and sank, the springs long worn out from age and use.

Footsteps creaked outside the door and Sawyer smiled, almost sinister. He didn't bother getting the gun but merely lounged back on the bed, awaiting the visitor.

The door burst open with a crack and crash as the intruder kicked through the entryway. Sawyer jumped in surprise, eyes widened though Juliet could see through his act. He wanted what was to come. Two men entered, though anything distinguishable about them was blurred from view. With no hesitation, two guns raised and two clips emptied into Sawyers body.

Sawyer lay in the bed, bloodied and broken. One man walked to the table to gather the money while the other walked to the bed and reloaded the gun. He spat in Sawyers face, raised the gun and pulled the trigger – point blank.

The visions fade. Juliet had stopped watching after the first gunshot; instead she rested on her knees, curled into herself. Her hands covered her face and she wept. Tears dripped and James could not bear to watch. He faced the smoke. "What was I supposed to do! Huh! What did you want me to do?"

He stood, defiant and approached the smoke. "You took the only damned thing that ever mattered to ahhh…" He trailed off, falling to his knees as he clutches his head. As if wounded, kicked, he crawled back towards the door where Juliet sat. Her eyes on him, reddened with tears, palm splayed on the glass. There was still no accusation in her eyes. Disappointment, fear, uncertainty, even anger. But no accusation.

The voices from the smoke rang out again, stronger, angered this time. "You did not atone. We gave you the chance. You did not accept."

"Juliet …" he murmured and crawled quickly towards the door of the church, trying to reach her in one last desperate attempt.

Tendrils of smoke shot out from the pillar, wrapping around his ankles and dragging him back to the altar. He scratched at the floor but to no avail. The smoke engulfed him.

The pillar moved towards the door of the church, blocking Juliet's view. The voices addressed her. "Go, child. Your time has passed."

"James," she whispered. "Please. Mercy. I beg you, mercy. It's my fault. I turned him away. I gave up on him."

The smoke swirled and mixed; the white and black colliding to a smoky grey. "Then no escape. Judged as one."

The barrier fell away and Juliet sat, staring at the smoke, her only obstacle to James. She hesitated a moment before scrambling back into the church. James lay on the floor, his body curled, eyes closed. She dove at him, wrapping her arms around him as the smoke engulfed them both. Her choice.

The voices of the smoke shrilled and cold filled the church. The building rattled and crumbled; she refused to let go.

"Again"

The haunting voices echoed in her ears before white light consumed them.

* * *

**Authors Note**: I thought to post the second part to give you all an idea of where we were going. I love reviews, good or bad. Let me know what you think. Don't we all miss Sawyer/Juliet already!


	3. Chapter 3

**Title**: Reload

**Author: ** Crimson Coin

**Rating**: T. This is a tough one. T for teen possibly bordering on R for violence.

**Copyright:** This fan fiction is by no means intended to infringe on any copyright. I do not own the characters nor the series lost. My ideas are my own.

**Genre:** Drama/Romance

**Pairing:** The romantic pairing is Juliet/Sawyer – as per canon.

**Summary**: After a life of crime, Sawyer must prove himself worthy of an afterlife with Juliet. A continuation from the series finale.

James awoke to the loud screech of an alarm. He sat up, eyes wide and looked frantically around his room. It took a moment or two for him to gather his wits before rolling over with a moan, slamming a hard palm over the alarm. The clock rolled to the ground as his hand slid off the bed stand and he lay on his stomach, eyes half closed.

What the hell time was it? He didn't have to work today. Damn, must have forgotten to turn it off before he crashed.

After about ten minutes of dozing, he pushed up onto his hands and knees then rolled out of bed. Woozy, he sat down quickly again, rubbing his face. His hair scattered in complete disarray, tangled and sticking straight up on one side.

What a horrid dream! He struggled to remember the details, but they were still foggy. He remembered a hotel room. It was a damn seedy place, a place he was more likely to bust rather than stay. Then he was smoking and then two guys out of the godfather were unloading their handguns into his torso. He rubbed his face again then glanced up to peer out the floor to ceiling window ahead of him.

The sun peaked over the horizon bathing the sky in pink and pale yellow. His mind attempted to focus on the dream. There was a hospital or was it an office building. A school maybe? There was a vending machine and then it was dark and then he was getting felt up …

He groaned. That he remembered. He couldn't remember the woman but her kiss was... Damn what a kiss that was. Blonde maybe? She wore white. Yeah, she was blonde.

How much did he drink last night? Did he drink last night?

James frowned. Yeah, he did. Last night was an anniversary. An anniversary he drank to forget, not to celebrate.

The memories were always vivid in his mind, especially around this time. More vivid than that creepy dream. Were her eyes green? No, maybe blue?

He shook his head, pushing up off the bed to stretch. The drinking began yesterday around noon – he'd purposefully taken the vacation day yesterday and today to recuperate. He needed the two days to relax, to calm himself, to tell himself again that the death of his mother was not his fault.

The memory invaded his thoughts. He huddled under his mother's bed. He wasn't supposed to be in there, but it was the highest bed. He always brought his army men into the room to wage war amidst the dust bunnies (or as he liked to think, the tumbleweeds). The arguing was loud, the stomping loud. A crack of a hand, more yelling. Two gunshots. He cowered.

Chicken shit.

James growled at himself in the mirror of the bathroom and shook his head. Coward.

He spent an hour in the shower, letting the heat surround him, sooth the tense muscles of his back then pour over his face. Finally comfortable, he stepped out of the shower, dried then wrapped the towel around his waist.

He walked to his dresser to pull out clothes for the day. Nothing fancy, something typical. Boxers, jeans, t-shirt. He glanced at the detective badge on the top of the dresser then the firearm next to it. He left the gun and took the badge, hooking it onto his belt.

He hated mornings, though was used to rising at these God awful hours. Sometimes he found the hour peaceful. People were not up and around yet, most normal people still sleeping. He never claimed to be normal though and he liked the solitude the early morning hour offered.

He walked the four blocks to the coffee house he frequented. The dream from less than an hour ago was a distant memory, barely nagging at the corner of his brain. She was pale, wasn't she? Or was that just the white shirt. She had great legs. Distracted, he pushed through the door to the shop and right into an exiting woman.

Her coffee splashed back and covered the white coat she wore. She gasped in surprise and his eyes widened. James reached out to her. "I'm sorry!"

The woman stood in shock, blinking a few times. The coffee stained her white knee length coat, dripping onto the floor. Her eyes turned from shock to aggravation.

The egg carton she held, once with three coffees, now had only two while the other lay on the floor, and mostly over her. James smiled sheepishly and grabbed some of the napkins from a nearby counter, handed her a few then bent down to wipe the floor where she stood.

He stood and tossed out the pile of coffee soaked napkins. "I wasn't looking. Let me buy ya another coffee." Then reached into his pocket but realized he didn't have his cards or his coat. "I'll give ya my number. Send me the bill for the dry cleaning."

She only looked mildly annoyed at this point. "No. No that's fine." She sighed, exasperated, obviously tired. "I have to get back."

He finally focused on the woman before him. Blonde, brilliant blue eyes, pale skin and white coat. Doctor's coat. He frowned. "Dr…" glanced at the name on the lab coat. "Burke. Please, let me buy you another coffee. What were you drinking?" He walked confidently to the counter and waited for her patiently, expectantly. He smiled, knowing full well the suave effect, the dimples, the way his eyes would crinkle just slightly. Come on, work.

She sighed and walked back to him. "Just regular with milk."

Score. He extended a hand in peace. "Jim Ford. Wish we met on better circumstances. Ah for me? I'll have regular, black, one sugar. Thanks."

She took his extended hand. "Juliet Burke. It's alright." She glanced down at her stained lab coat. "It was an accident. It's been a long night. I can't wait to get home."

He grabbed a pen off the counter and scrawled his name and phone number onto a napkin. "Here. I'm serious about payin' for yer dry cleanin'."

She took the napkin and put it in the pocket of her lab coat but shook her head as she reached for her coffee. "I'm serious too. You don't have to."

He nodded. "Fine. Then let me at least take ya to dinner. As an apology, of course." He grinned, another winning smile.

She quirked a skeptical brow. "Is this your usual pick up? Bumping into women then making amends with dinner?"

He should be intimidated by that look, her eyes intense as if sizing him up. Yet he wasn't intimidated; in fact, it turned him on. Woah, where'd that come from?

Juliet waited patiently.

James chuckled and shook his head. "No, nothin' like that. Seems a cheesy pick up, huh?" He rubbed the back of his neck, blushing just slightly.

She chuckled and shook her head, sipping the coffee. "Could be worse."

He nodded in agreement. "I suppose. Look, come ahn. I ain't askin' much. Just dinner. I won't even come pick ya up. Ya know, so it's not any creepier."

She laughed, her mood lightening. "We can go Dutch."

"Dutch? I ain't heard that phrase in a while. Not happenin', Blondie. I'm treatin'."

Her brow quirked again at the nickname and James winced internally. Damn it. He blew it. It just seemed the thing to say. What the hell came over him? He could still salvage this situation. Why did he want this date so badly?

"Come ahn." He drawled, flashing another winning smile. "Two hours. It's all I'm askin'."

She appraised him, considering. "Alright. Two hours." When he grinned brightly at her response, Juliet tilted her head, appreciative. He was handsome, scruffy. Rough around the edges was an understatement and what was she even thinking to agreeing! What had come over her? This wasn't like Juliet Burke.

James paid for the coffee, ignoring the flirtatious smile from the girl behind the counter. "Thanks, Hannah. See ya tomorrow." Then escorted Juliet to the door. "We can meet at Mario's down the block. Say 7 o'clock?"

She nodded. "7 o'clock. I'll uhm … I'll see you then."

He watched as she walked quickly to the corner then darted across the street towards the hospital. He smiled. Today had gone better than he expected. She seemed nervous when she left him, but then again what else could she have said. Maybe waking up in the mornings was worth it.

**Authors Note: ** I'm posting a bit quicker at the start. You know to get you all hooked before the real drama and I leave you begging for more. Muahaha. And for all the Suliet fans out there, now is going to start the romantic stuff. I love reviews, I'm addicted to them so please feel free to tell me what you like or don't like.


	4. Chapter 4

**Title**: Reload

**Author: **Crimson Coin

**Rating**: T. This is a tough one. T for teen possibly bordering on R for violence.

**Copyright:** This fan fiction is by no means intended to infringe on any copyright. I do not own the characters nor the series lost. My ideas are my own.

**Genre:** Drama/Romance

**Pairing:** The romantic pairing is Juliet/Sawyer – as per canon.

**Summary**: After a life of crime, Sawyer must prove himself worthy of an afterlife with Juliet. A continuation from the series finale.

Juliet curled up on the sofa in her living room, a paperback open in her lap. She read the same paragraph for the fifth time then just gave up, jammed the bookmark in the book and tossed it onto the coffee table. She chewed on the nail of her middle finger, in thought.

The door to her apartment opened and her sister Rachel walked inside and directly to the bedroom. "Hey, Jules. I need a dress. Don't mind me."

Juliet barely acknowledged her sister and didn't hear everything she said and prattled on about. She stood to walk into the bedroom. She probably should pay attention. "What do you need?"

Rachel buried into the closet, scanning the rack as one would at a bargain store. "Just a dress. I got a date tonight. Mom's watching Julian. I was going to ask you but you've been so tired lately at the hospi … wow look at this number. " She pulled out a black cocktail dress with a sweeping neckline. She quirked a brow, much as her sister does. "What do we have here?"

Juliet rolled her eyes. "Don't get any ideas. I wore it a couple months ago to a cocktail party when I lectured at a seminar out in Colorado."

Rachel smirked. "Did it work?"

"What do you mean, did it work?"

"Oh come on, Jules, don't be such a prude. Wearing something like this? The men had to be eating out of your hands! Who were you trying to impress?"

"Nobody. And it was cold anyway. I had a shawl."

Rachel laughed. "Mmm Hmm, sure. Well I'm using it tonight. You know …" she tossed the dress onto the bed then browsed Juliet's shoes. "You should get out more. You need to get back into dating. I know Edmund was a jerk. And it's been two years since Tom died. I know you loved him and all but you're only 33 years old. You can meet a nice guy out there. And they are out there."

Juliet walked from the room. "Rachel, just don't, alright? And for your information, I have a date tonight." She rested her hands on the island in her kitchen. "Well, had. I don't know if I'm going to go."

Rachel popped her head out the bedroom door. "A date? And not going, are you out of your mind! Juliet, you have to go! Where did you meet him? Is he from the hospital?"

Juliet shook her head. "No I … I met him at the coffee shop." Then laughed and pointed to her lab coat draped over the chair in her living room. "He did that."

Rachel frowned. "So he spilt his coffee on you and now you're going out on a date? I need to teach you how to flirt. I think you've forgotten."

Juliet laughed. "I didn't forget. And it was my coffee, he bumped into me. He bought me another coffee then gave me his number to give him the bill for the dry cleaning and then convinced me to go to dinner with him in apologies for the accident. And it all happened so fast!"

Rachel smirked. "Is he good looking? Who am I kidding, he'd have to be to get you all flustered."

"I am not flustered!"

"Oh, stuff it, Jules, yes you are. What's he look like? Is he tall dark and handsome?"

Juliet rolled her eyes. "He is not. He's actually … he's not someone I would normally date."

"Oooo, a bad boy? What is he a criminal or something?"

Juliet laughed. "No. I wouldn't go that far. He had a badge on his belt; he must be a cop or something."

"What's his name?"

"Jim Ford."

Rachel smirked and nearly bounced over to the laptop on the desk in the living room. She easily brought up the internet. "Jim … Ford. Let's see …"

Juliet sighed. "What are you doing? I told you I'm not going."

"Yes, you are. Jesus, we're not saying you have to sleep with the guy. But he wants to treat you to dinner. What's wrong with that? So where you going?"

"Mario's." Juliet mumbled.

"I was there last month it was amazing! Let's see …" She let out a slow whistle. "Good looking! Jeez, Jules, the guy's hot! Have you seen this?" She turned the lap top to show a photo from a newspaper's website. James stands with the police commissioner, receiving an award. "He must be some big shot. See? 'Detective Jim Ford with the mayor of Miami after the apprehension of the Spring Break Strangler.' That was two years ago, remember? Are you out of your mind! How do you NOT want to go on a date with this guy?" Rachel trailed off then smirked. "You're nervous."

"I am not!"

"Oh yes, you are. You think he's cute. And you want to go on this date but you're scared. Oh come on, Jules, just try it. You might like him. And it'll help get your head out of your medical journals."

"I like those journals, for your information. And it's my job to read these journals and keep up on the research …"

"Blah blah blah. Your life isn't just your job. What time are you meeting him? Is he picking you up?"

"No, we're meeting there."

"All the better! You can make an entrance." Rachel grabbed Juliet's hand. "Now get in that shower and I'll pick out an outfit."

Juliet took her time in the shower. That could only work for so long and soon stepped out and dried her hair. Maybe the date wouldn't be so bad. He was cute, seemed personal enough. It was just a date. No promises.

She stepped out of the bathroom and frowned as her sister held up that black cocktail dress. Juliet shook her head. "Oh no. I am not wearing that."

"Why not! You'll be gorgeous and he'll be eating out of your hands."

"Maybe I don't want him eating out of my hands. Look, it's just a date. I don't want him thinking I'm desperate or … well like I need anything more than dinner."

"Horny."

"Rachel, shut up. I am not. Not everyone wants to crawl into bed with a hot guy, you know."

Rachel grinned. "Of course they do! Just not all women actually do it. And Ah Hah! You just admitted he's hot."

Juliet closed her eyes, willing the patience to remain. "I appreciate your help. I really do. And that you care about me and want me to be happy. But I am happy. So here …" she laid the cocktail dress in her sister's arms. "You wear this for your date. And I'll call you tomorrow morning."

Rachel watched her a few moments then nodded. "Alright." Then rested a hand on Juliet's arm. "Just try to have some fun tonight, ok?"

"I will. Now go and get ready for your date."

* * *

James waited outside Mario's restaurant as the hour approached 7 pm. He frowned and looked at his watch then leaned against the wall outside the restaurant. He dressed in a newer pair of black jeans and a grey button down shirt with the top button unfastened. It was a warm evening and he unbuttoned the sleeves, rolling them up to his elbows. He refused to think she would stand him up, though why should he really expect her to show? She was a big fancy doctor and he was just a cop. Maybe she thought he was some hick. He scowled. His accent was always a curse. Some women found it sexy, maybe doctors didn't.

He glanced down the street again and watched as a blonde woman stepped out of a car about twenty yards away. He smiled and pushed off the wall to walk towards her. He eyed her with pleasure then caught himself and looked at the car before she caught him ogling. She wore a pair of fitted slacks and a tailored blouse that flattered the curves of her waist and chest. Hopefully his tongue wasn't hanging from his mouth. "Nice wheels, doc."

Juliet smiled as she locked the car. "Thank you. Do you like cars?"

He shrugged casually. "I know a little about them. Not much though. My uncle liked cars. He used to fix them up and drone on an' on about different cars. I never paid much attention though. Don't get me wrong …" He offered his arm to her. "I can change my tires, my oil, check the fluids. That's about it."

She slipped her arm into his and smiled genuine, flattered at his gentlemanly act. He seemed to do it naturally, confidently as he escorted her towards the restaurant. "So do ya work on cars as well as people?"

"A little. I can do what you can do though I haven't had time the last few years. I just take it to the 30 minute oil change down the block. I do understand what happens inside though. I made it apparent to learn that way when I take it to the dealer for the maintenance, they can't give me something I don't need just because I'm a woman."

He glanced at her from under slightly hooded eyes. "Sounds like you've been taken advantage of before. It's good to see ya learned from that. It's a benefit to bein' a man. They don't try to do that to me with most things. That and peein' standin' up. That's another benefit."

She looked to him almost shocked at the words then laughed and shook her head. He held the door to the restaurant for her and it surprised her.

"Not used to a gentleman? Ya should be. I may not be smooth and suave but I was taught how to treat a lady."

She smirked, almost playful. "You seem pretty smooth and suave to me."

He chuckled. "Well maybe with actions. Not with words. I ain't really the poetic type so if ya like sonnets and romantic things, I ain't the guy."

"Pretty words and grand romantic gestures can be overrated."

"Hmm, bad experience, eh? Uhm … Don't answer that."

She smiled almost in thanks as they were escorted to a table. He held the chair for her, another thing that surprised her and yet he acted as if it were expected. He smirked and sat. "Don't get too used to it. I just put on the works for the first few dates."

She laughed. "And what do you consider, the works."

"Oh, holdin' the chair, maybe standin' when you do. Holdin' a car door or something. I do always hold the door to a building or somethin' and offer an arm. But that's cuz it's polite to hold the door. And offerin' an arm is an excuse to touch without riskin' gettin' slapped."

"Been slapped, huh?"

He chuckled and nodded. "Yeah. Puttin' my hand on a girl's back before she was ready for it. I learned my lesson. They swoon for the arm. Plus, ya know, the guns an' all."

"The guns? Did you often brandish your firearms for women?"

He shook his head, brow furrowed in confusion but then smiled as he saw her teasing grin. "Not that gun. Biceps, ya know? But I'm sure you've seen yer share a male anatomy. Bein' a doctor an' all."

She opened the menu to casually scan. "Actually, I'm a fertility specialist. So rarely do I see male anatomy." She blushed a little at the possible connotations of that admission. She looked to the waiting server and smiled. "A glass of Merlot, please? Thank you."

James smiled. "Uh, just a beer. Whatever you have on tap. So a fertility specialist, eh? Like givin' women babies when they have trouble havin' em?"

"Yes. Basically, that's exactly what I do. I used to work in solely research but two years ago I took a job at Miami general. I like working with the patients. Don't get me wrong, the lab was great, but there is something about the happier cases too. And they still let me do some research but it's not every day."

He nodded. "I can understand that."

"So what do you do?"

He shrugged casually. "Not as fancy or impressive as you. I'm a detective with the Miami police department."

"I think that's impressive. You save lives."

He shook his head. "Not really. I'm in homicide. You help 'em when they are happy and alive. I help when they're dead."

She reached out to rest a hand on his. "Hey, somebody has to do it. To keep us all safe. You do that." She squeezed his hand and smiled.

He smiled in return. "So how long was school? Like to be a baby doctor."

"Well there was college then the PH.D then the internship and residency and …" She chuckled. "Let's just say I spent more time in school then out of school. It's hard really, I mean, sometimes I think people assume it's easy to just be in school all the time. But it's expensive and exhausting."

"Sounds like a whole lotta studyin'."

"It was. And it doesn't end. I have to be on top of all the new research and models and theories. But I enjoy it."

"That's what counts."

"So where did you go to college?" She asked and smiled as the waitress placed a glass of red wine before her, then a beer for him.

"Erm … I kinda didn't."

She appeared shocked but not put off. "I thought to be a detective you had to have a degree."

He blushed a little. "Well usually, yeah, that's the case. But they made an exception for me. I joined the Marines outta high school. After I left, I was lookin' for work. I joined the academy and my military background was enough for 'em to wave anything, I suppose. I had good recommendations. Did a good job, paid my dues, made a few friends and bam, detective."

"Why did you leave the marines? Didn't you enjoy it?"

"It uhm, wasn't exactly my choice. I got injured and it was an honorable discharge." He held up his hands. "Nothin' serious though. Well not too serious."

"What happened?"

"I got shot."

She choked on her water and he sat up straight, a look of concern on his face. "Ya ok, over there, Blondie?" He smirked. "No chokin' on my watch. Not that I don't know the Heimlich or somethin' but it's my night off on a date with a beautiful woman and that would be right inconvenient. Cuz it would likely end the date early. And we got two hours."

She laughed. "I'm alright. Don't change the subject. My God, Jim, you were shot? What do you mean not serious. I think that's about as serious as you can get."

He rubbed the back of his neck and chuckled. "Yeah well, I mean I don't like to think it was a big deal. Don't like to dwell on it ya know? I mean … ya see things that ya don't want to remember so I just … I really try not to." He trailed off a moment.

She reached for him again, concerned. "Hey." When he looked to her, she smiled. "So what do you do in your spare time?"

"Honestly?" He smiled, appreciating the easy change in conversation.

"Yeah."

He chuckled. "You're gonna laugh."

"Try me."

"I read."

She paused a moment in reflection and her eyes softened just slightly. "Me too."

The date continued well. They spoke on various harmless topics, especially books. One debate lasted twenty minutes about what was the best Stephen King novel. Two hours soon turned to three.

James grabbed the bill the moment it was placed on the table and smirked at her. "Now now, put that purse down. I told ya, I'm treatin'. Come on, let me. No strings attached."

Juliet frowned, displeased but nodded in agreement.

He glanced at the bill a moment then placed a credit card onto the receipt. He smirked victoriously at her. "See? Wasn't so hard."

She glanced at the card then to him. "Thank you."

He smiled a winning smile. After the bill fully paid, he stood then outstretched a hand to her.

She reluctantly took his hand. "Putting on the works, are we?"

He laughed. "That's right. I also realized that the first thing I said to ya, was commenting on yer car. I shoulda commented on how beautiful ya looked."

"Well thank you. I was beginning to wonder if you noticed." She smirked playfully. "It's nice to meet a man whose eyes don't immediately rake you like a piece of meat."

He didn't want to admit that he may have done just that. "Well," he grinned. "I can do that if ya like." He glanced at her, quite casually. He focused on tailored black slacks and the fitted bright blue blouse with strapped sandals. "Quite nice, if I may say so. Ya do the car justice."

She laughed and shook her head as they reach her car.

"Ya know, ya gave me three hours instead of two."

She quirked a brow. "You were lucky. You found my weakness and distracted me with books."

He paused by her car door and smiled, waiting. "I had a good time. Maybe we can do it again. Ya know without the coffee on the lab coat part."

"Mmm. Don't want to be stretching your budget paying for my dry cleaning."

He chuckled and nodded. "Aye. So since ya ain't offerin' it upright. I'm gonna have to ask for yer number. I mean I can always go to the hospital and just stand outside hollarin', but I'm sure that won't win me any points."

Juliet smiled and shook her head then reached into her purse for a business card. She grabbed a pen from the bag then wrote a number on the back before handing him the card from between two fingers. She eyed him a bit flirtatiously, challenging even.

He smirked, another victory and picked the card from her hand. He glanced at the back. "Damn woman, it is true. Doctor's have hell for handwritin'!"

She laughed again and she touched his arm. "Thank you, Jim. I had a great time tonight. And maybe … we could do it again. But only after you read _Carrie_."

"Hmm," he glanced at his watch. "I can still get to the bookstore tonight. I can read a book in a day if I put my mind to it, so just be prepared."

"Oh I'll be ready. Like I said, I've read it four times."

"Don't know how you read a book more than once like that. I mean ya know what happens! Could get borin'."

"It's not boring. Sometimes if you read a book more than once, you learn more than you did before. Catch onto hidden nuances and subplots."

He smiled and displayed the card to her. "I'll call when I finish _Carrie. _Not twice. I'll read it once then call. And I promise, it'll be sooner rather than later." He opened the car door and watched her. She hesitated, eyes on him.

He grinned. "I might just have to kiss ya. Slap be damned."

"Not on a first date. I'm not that easy, Jim. You'll have to work harder than that." She teased then lifted up onto her toes to kiss his cheek.

"I plan on it, Blondie."

She smiled, a little bashful and slipped into the car.

He smirked. "Good night." He closed the car door before turning to walk down the street back to his apartment.

**Author's Note**: Since I'm inspired to keep writing, I'll keep posting. In response to one review: This isn't really a flash sideways anything. There will be similarities but it's not the same universe. James has the chance to do it right (as opposed to a life of crime ). This is his life's "reboot". I hope that makes sense. Which means he's not exactly Sawyer. She's not exactly Juliet, but the core person is there.

Thanks everyone for the reviews and reading the story. I do have the entire story planned so as long as I can get it down, the updates should be fairly continuous. I hope you enjoy, and please review.


	5. Chapter 5

**Title**: Reload

**Author: **Crimson Coin

**Rating**: T. This is a tough one. T for teen possibly bordering on R for violence.

**Copyright:** This fan fiction is by no means intended to infringe on any copyright. I do not own the characters nor the series lost. My ideas are my own.

**Genre:** Drama/Romance

**Pairing:** The romantic pairing is Juliet/Sawyer – as per canon.

**Summary**: After a life of crime, Sawyer must prove himself worthy of an afterlife with Juliet. A continuation from the series finale.

* * *

The month passed quickly. James sat at his desk in the precinct, focused intently on the open book on his desk. A knock on the wood of his desk broke his concentration and he sat back with a start.

His partner, Miles, smirked. "Knock, knock, Jim, wakie wakie."

"I'm awake." He snarled.

"Uh huh," Miles tapped the phonebook in front of James. "You zoned out about fifteen minutes ago. We just need the number for the Chinese take-out place down the block. You've been in your own world lately, you know that?"

He shook his head. "I'm just distracted." He stood and pointed an accusatory finger at Miles. "And it's nothing. So shut up."

His mind had been swirling with visions of a gorgeous blonde with bright blue eyes and a smokin' hot body. He had never gone a month before without kissing a girl he was dating and he was torn between calling the woman a tease or just wanting her more because she made him desire her all the more. There was only so much a man could take, damn it! That's it. At some point today, he was gonna kiss her whether she liked it or not. Hopefully she'd like it.

The lieutenant walked out of his office. "Alright ladies, a lot to do. Fox, Trimm – there's a 480 down on 1." He handed a file to two detectives. James watched as the lieutenant handed out a few notes to some other detectives. The lieutenant approached James. "Ford, Straume – Domestic incident. Murder/suicide. Here's the hitch. The murdered, she's not dead yet. The woman's critical at Miami General. Ford, get over there now to try and get what we can out of those doctors before they forget. And if she wakes you, you're the first face I want her to see. Straume head over to the crime scene and get in there before the CSI think they're detectives again."

Miles nodded, "Aye, sir."

James ensured his gun and badge were in place then grabbed his notepad and a pen before heading out of the precinct. He controlled any rising emotions from his heart. Murder suicides were becoming more common and more and more difficult for him to face. What kind of cowardly ass …

He clenched his teeth as he got into his black car and drove to the hospital. Murder. Suicide. Hopefully in this case, the victim would be luckier than his mother.

When he arrived at the hospital, he walked into the emergency room with a purpose, a confident stride to his step. He leaned against the counter and smiled at the receptionist, displaying a badge. "I'm detective Jim Ford. I'm here to see," he glanced at his notepad. "A Nancy Horun. She was brought into the emergency room about an hour ago. I hear she's critical."

The receptionist typed loudly, nails clicking as she continued to work. "I'm sorry, detective, she's still in surgery."

He sighed. "Look just let me go back there. I'll need to talk to the doctor afterwards anyway and I want to make sure he sees my face."

"I'm sorry, detective, I can't let you … detective, where are you going!"

James, frustrated, simply walked back into the emergency room, dodging rushing doctors and nurses. He stopped one. "Where's Nancy Horun?"

The nurse frowned. "You shouldn't be here."

James used his best intimidation expression. It worked.

The nurse swallowed hard. "Down there." She pointed. "Third door on the right but don't go in! They're operating."

James walked down the hall and refused to look back. He watched the various doctors and stretchers fly passed and dodged them gracefully. Third door. On the … right. He stopped in front of the door and peered inside.

A woman lay on a table, he couldn't really see her. About six people bustled around her, tubes everywhere, machine's beeping. It looked like two doctors were inside. He stepped back from the room to lean against the opposite wall, waiting.

Security raced down the hall towards him. "Sir, you can't be here."

James rolled his eyes and displayed his badge, his gun visible. "I'm a cop. I'm here for that woman. This is a bit personal, ok? So go make yourself useful and secure somethin' that needs securin'."

The security guards seem shaken, even apprehensive. James ignored them and looked down the hall where more voices drew his attention. He frowned, recognizing that voice.

A woman, likely a doctor, walked down the hall. She was head to toe in scrubs, her hands held up with gloves on and she wore a mask. Those eyes, he'd know anywhere. It was Juliet.

Juliet raced down the hall. "Where was the gunshot?"

"Abdomen. They have her partially stabilized but she went into labor. The water broke."

"How far along is she?"

The nurse easily kept step with her, reading off a chart. "31 weeks. Uhm, second gun shot wound to the chest. The mother may not make it. Doctors are in there now trying to keep her stable until you can get the baby out."

Juliet walked right past James, not even noticing him as she backed through the door where Nancy Horun lay on the table.

James felt his stomach drop. If Juliet was going in there, that meant the woman would be pregnant. His anger boiled. How could someone do something like this? How could … it was a husband, he was sure of it. Stupid lying bastard. He couldn't just take his own sorry life but had to take his wife and his kids as well.

James sat heavily on one of the chairs outside the room. He hoped the baby didn't survive. That way the kid wouldn't have to grow up with the same life he had. The same nightmare. The knowledge that his father killed his mother and then himself. Who the hell wants that start to life? What do you even say to the kid? Oh yeah, by the way, your dad was a total douche and your mom never saw it comin'. But don't worry they loved you. It wasn't about you.

No, obviously it wasn't. Because if it was about the child, then this sort of thing never would happen!

He released a heavy sigh, trying to control himself. "Easy there, Jim. Take a breath." He inhaled deeply then released, eyes closed.

After excruciating minutes, the door opened and James stood. The elongated tone of the heart monitor confirmed his suspicions. Flat line. The woman was dead. He looked into the room and watched as Juliet worked tirelessly on a blue baby, trying to get the child to breathe. After another minute, she stepped back, defeated and looked at the clock with a heavy sigh. A nurse with the chart jotted something down.

"Excuse me, sir, are you the husband?"

James turned at the voice; it was one of the ER surgeons. James provided his badge. "Detective Jim Ford, Miami PD." He appraised the surgeon who had discarded his gloves though there was blood on the front of his scrubs. "I just have a few questions while this is fresh in your mind."

"All deaths are fresh in the mind, Detective Ford."

James ignored the comment. "Do you have the bullet?"

The surgeon nodded. "There are two in there on the tray. I'll have the nurse get them for you."

"Thank you. I'll call the coroner. Did she say anything? Was she conscious when she came in?"

He shook his head. "No. She wasn't responsive when we brought her in. We were able to keep her heart beating but …"

"She was pregnant? How far along?"

"You should ask Dr. Burke, she'll be able to tell you more about the baby." He turned. "Dr. Burke?"

Juliet walked out of the room. Her mask was down, gloves gone. Like the other doctor, she had some blood on her. She looked haggard, upset. It was to be expected.

The surgeon motioned for her to join them. "Dr. Burke this is Detective …"

"She knows me," James interrupted. "Juliet." He reached for her arm, careless of the blood there. "Hey, there Blondie."

She smiled, weakly. "Hey, Jim. What are you doing here?"

He motioned to the room with his head. "My case. Nancy Horun and baby …" glanced back in as if to try and see the sex. "Girl?"

Juliet nodded. "Yes, a girl. She was 31 weeks along. It was just too soon. Too sudden. I couldn't save her."

James nodded and dialed his cell phone and brought it to his ear. When Juliet moved to walk away, he reached out to stop her. "Hang on," he smiled at her then spoke to the person on the other end of the phone. "Hey doc. Ford. We got a pick up at Miami general. Nancy Horun and baby. We got the bullets. Just need an autopsy. Pronounced dead oh … five minutes ago. Yeah. Yeah she survived but … alright. Alright thanks, Doc. Yeah I'll be down in about 3 hours to see what you find." He hung up.

She shook her head slowly at him. "You're so casual when you talk about it."

"It's not that easy. I had to learn to harden myself." He smiled sadly. "I'm sure ya did everything ya could to help that baby. You're the best right?"

"I wouldn't say …"

"You're the best." He interrupted. "I've looked you up, Dr. Burke. I got connections." He smirked. "I know what you've done. What you can do. If anyone could have saved that baby, you could. It wasn't meant to be."

She sighed. "I know. Doesn't make it any easier."

"Hey, look, why don't you come over my place for a drink after your shift tonight? You look like you could use it."

She smiled gratefully and nodded. "Yeah, I probably could use one."

"And I promise I won't take advantage of ya." He chuckled.

She rolled her eyes. "I can take care of myself. You may be a marine, but I had self defense."

"Mmm," then whispered. "Interesting idea of foreplay."

She laughed.

"There ya go. A smile. I get off at 6." He scratched out his address on a blank page from his notebook then ripped it off and gave it to her. "Here. Come by. Maybe I'll even cook dinner if ya promise to come."

She nodded. "Alright, I'll come."

He grinned brightly. "Excellent. Now go on. You probably want to get changed and reset your head."

"What will you do?"

"Stay." He looked back into the room. "Until the doc comes to take her to the morgue for the autopsy. Go on. I'll be alright. And I'll see you after 6."

She smiled. "Alright. I'm off at 7, I'll come by after that."

He just smiled as she walked away. He leaned back against the wall beside the door to the room, as if standing guard. He rubbed his eyes and ducked his head, releasing a breath he didn't realize he held. He pulled out his cell and dialed.

"Hey, Miles. Yeah it's me. She's dead. Was pregnant, baby's dead too. Yeah … yeah. Alright, how long will you be? Ok. Yeah, I'm waiting here for doc to pick her up. We got two bullets but it seems open and shut. Yeah. Yeah, I'm alright. Bye." He hung up the phone then closed his eyes and tilted his head back.

Juliet watched him from the end of the hall then continued upstairs to her office. It appeared that Jim Ford wasn't as unaffected as he would have people believe.

* * *

Juliet had gone home to wash up and change before heading to James' house. She stood outside the apartment and evaluated the area. Fairly nice area, the apartment building appeared in good shape. She walked up to the door and buzzed to his room. His gruff voice responded. "Yeah?"

"Uh, hi, Jim, it's me."

"Oh, hey Juliet. Come on up."

At the loud buzzer, she pulled on the door and walked up the two flights to his apartment. The door already open, she stepped inside. "Jim?" she glanced around, spotting the mail on the nearby table for James Ford.

"Yeah out here, Juliet." He called from the balcony, the doors wide open, the screen closed. The embers from the charcoal grill burned, the glow lighting the balcony. There was a small table, two chairs and to one side a wooden bench.

She smiled and stepped out onto the balcony. "Well, isn't this nice."

He grinned and stepped away from the grill to greet her. He kissed her cheek. "Course it is. Oh …" then walked back to the grill and picked something up from the ground. It was an apron and he held it up. "So if I wore this …" he trailed off, letting her read the words "Kiss the chef".

She laughed then winked. "Try it."

He chuckled and draped it over his neck but didn't tie it at the back. "I hope you like steak."

"I do."

"Good, cuz the only thing I can really do is grill. Nothin' like charcoal grillin'." He walked back to the table to show her the bottle of red wine he had out. He presented it and smirked. "Good choice?"

"Just perfect."

He poured her a glass then took two small aluminum foil packages off the grill and put them on a plate. "How do ya like your steak?"

"Medium, please. You have a really nice place here."

"Thanks. It serves what I need, ya know?"

"It says James Ford on your buzzer downstairs. You look like a James. Not really a Jim."

He paused a moment then admitted. "You can call me James, if ya want to." He didn't indulge her that no one had called him James since his mother died. It was a hard memory to face.

"I can call you Jim if you prefer."

"No no … please call me James. It'd be nice to hear it again. And anything off those lips works for me."

"Flirt."

He chuckled and took off his steak then left hers on another minute. He served her some vegetables and then the steak. They ate in comfortable companionship, even in silence. "And the best part about grillin'. Clean up is a breeze."

Her time with him was always relaxing, enjoyable, and comfortable. He made her forget any troubles, just focusing on the here and the now. It could be dangerous if she gave in to any of the spontaneous emotions and desires he sparked. There was something dangerous about him, mysterious. Despite the last month, she really knew nothing about him. Nothing personal. She wanted to know him.

"Tell me more about you, James. It seems you know so much about me and I know so little about you."

"Aw well I wouldn't say I know a lot about ya."

"Come on, you know I have a sister and a nephew. Do you have any siblings?"

"Naw. I'm an only child and my folks died when I was young."

She frowned. "I'm sorry to hear that. It must have been hard."

He just shrugged then smiled at her. "So has your sister raided your closet again recently?"

She followed his topic change, making a mental note to herself about the subject. "Not recently no. Since I told her I was dating again, I guess she decided that I needed all my clothes. I suppose I have you to thank that my closet is intact."

"I'm thankful too. Ya look great in everything ya where. Maybe I'll have to make reservations at some fancy restaurant so I can see ya look really nice. Then you can see how well I clean up too." He reached up to rub his chin. "Didn't get the chance to shave today."

"I kinda like it."

"Yeah?"

She blushed. "Well yeah. I mean I never used to. The men I used to date, well they were always perfectly groomed and clean shaven but I must admit, I do like the shaggy scruffy look. At least on you."

He grinned brightly. "Well thanks. Sometimes my partner tells me I don't look the cop part."

"Well, you don't." A slow smirk tugged at the corner of her lips.

"Oh really?" He leaned forward, grin in place, winning dimples flashing. "And do you think that's bad?"

"I didn't say that. I'm just saying you're the bad cop in the good cop/bad cop play," Juliet said then looked up and frowned. "Did you feel that?"

"What?" He looked up too as the rain started to fall. He stood quickly to cover the grill and she grabbed the tray with the dishes and raced inside. He was stuck outside for a few seconds in the downpour. Inside, he shook his head, water droplets dripping from the tips. His t shirt was wet as were his pants. She was slightly wet but managed to beat the most of rain. She walked to the kitchen to place the tray by the sink then turned to him and laughed.

He chuckled and raked his hair back. "What you laughin' at, Blondie? I could carry you back out there and get you wet too."

She crossed her arms over her chest. "You wouldn't dare."

He grinned, playful, challenging and stalked towards her.

She laughed and pressed back against the counter. "No you don't, James Ford. I don't want to get wet."

He swept her up into his arms, carrying her over his shoulder and she laughed, swatting his back then shrieked in surprise as he stood outside on the balcony in the downpour. "James! You didn't. I don't have any clean clothes!"

He shifted her slightly in his arms, holding around her thighs to keep her against him as he gazed up at her with bright eyes. Her hands gripped his shoulders to keep herself steady and she just looked at him. Water slicked her hair, dripping down, soaking her body. Her clothes clung to her in all the right places and James had the perfect view as he gazed up at her. He slowly lowered her to the ground, ensuring her body slid along his. He radiated heat and she bit her lip at the sensation.

He cupped her cheek and closed the distance between them, kissing her. She tensed a moment before caving into him. Her arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer. Minutes passed as they kissed in the rain and finally breathless, he pulled back, forehead pressed to hers. "Waited too long to do that."

"Shut up, James."

He grinned as she pulled him for another kiss and he happily responded.

After a few more minutes of kissing, Juliet trembled, the cold of the water and the rain finally sinking to her core. "James, can we go inside? It's getting cold."

He grabbed her hand and led her back into the house. "Here go into the bathroom there, I'll give you somethin' to wear and we can toss your clothes in the dryer."

Slightly embarrassed, she rushed into the bathroom. He removed his shirt, walking into the bedroom and stripped off his wet clothes then pulled on clean boxers and jeans. He grabbed a t shirt from the dresser and a pair of pajama bottoms that he wore years ago, but not recently. Walking towards the bathroom, he tossed his wet clothes into the drier then knocked on the bathroom door.

She peers out the door, blocking behind it. He smiled at her. "Here ya go, Blondie. Want me to put your clothes in the dryer?"

She nodded and handed the shirt and pants to him. She blushed bright red, embarrassed. "Thanks. Uhm maybe just a little. I don't want them to shrink."

"Don't worry."

When she came out of the bathroom, he was standing in front of the dryer, watching the clothes spin. He wore a pair of faded torn jeans and a baggy grey t-shirt. He smiled at her. "Nothin' like that sight of a beautiful woman wearin' your clothes to get the juices pumpin'."

"Look I, uhm. I don't know what came over me out there. But …"

He silenced her with another kiss then grinned as he pulled back. "Just like the kiss, Blondie."

She appraised him a long moment, weighing the benefits and consequences of his words.

"Come on, ya liked it." He guided her to the couch and sat then let her sit beside him. "Still cold?"

"No." She smiled at him. "No not cold, just thinking." She watched him then and he saw the gears cranking in her mind, the emotions flickering in her eyes.

"Thinkin'? Like how'd I let some hick drag me outside to make out in the rain?"

She laughed. "Something like that. You're a good kisser."

"You ain't so bad yourself. Could use some practice though." He placed a hand on his chest. "I would be more than willing to get you back in practice."

She smacked his arm and rolled her eyes. "Words like that, you won't be getting another kiss tonight."

"Your loss, Darlin'."

He easily relaxed her and soon they were joking and laughing as before. Within an hour or so, her clothes dry enough, she stood to change again. "I should be heading home. I'm on call most of tomorrow." She handed him the clothes he let her borrow, folded.

He placed them on the back of a chair. "The rain probably stopped by now. I ain't heard it in a while. Let me just get my shoes on, I'll walk ya to your car."

"Oh you don't have to."

He grinned, tying his boots. "I know I don't have to. I want to." He stuffed his keys into his front pocket then took her hand to walk her outside. "Do you work tomorrow or you just on call?"

"I work. No patients. But I'll be in the lab in the morning until after lunch. And of course you're always on call. I mean if one of my patients has an emergency or goes into sudden labor."

"I'm kinda always on call too. I mean, my phone can ring at any hour if something happens. Something with my case or someone I've questioned calls me back."

She nodded slowly and when they reached her car, she dug in her purse for the keys. It took her a moment to find them. She opened the back seat to toss her bag inside then faced him. "Thanks again, James. I had a nice time tonight, you know other than soaked to the bone part."

He smirked. "Come on, it was worth it." He stepped closer, sliding his arms around her waist.

She sighed and reached up to wrap her arms around his neck, hugging him. Her eyes closed a moment.

"You were amazin' today," he drawled in her ear.

"Amazing?" She murmured then slowly shook her head, not releasing him. "I failed, James. That's not amazing." Her voice trembled slightly.

He held her close, a hand comforting on her back. "Naw you were amazin'. I was outside the room when you came walkin' down the hall lookin' sexy as all hell in those scrubs …"

She cut him off with a choked laugh. "Sexy in scrubs? James, you're blind or desperate."

He chuckled. "Hey, whose story is this anyway? So there ya were lookin' sexy as hell and damned determined when you went in there. Ya knew it was an impossible situation. Hell I did when I arrived and I ain't a doctor. But you went in there and tried so damn hard cuz ya wanted to save that kid. That's amazing, baby, that's just … you're amazin'."

She was silent for an uncomfortably long minute. He rubbed her back and she tightened her arms around his neck, releasing a heavy sigh. "Thank you." She whispered. She stroked the back of his head, her fingers sliding through his hair.

He pulled back a little to look down at her. He leaned forward to kiss her. She molded to him and he hummed. This kiss different than the previous in the rain. This was soft, comforting and slow. Nothing rushed or heated. He pressed her closer to the car.

Her palm splayed on his cheek and she sighed against his lips.

When he knew he left her breathless, he pulled back, smiling that winning smile, knowing his dimples showed. "Amazin'."

She smiled at him, genuine, and kissed him softly again. "Thank you. You have no idea what that means to me."

"Eh, I think I do. Now you better get outta here before I drag you back up to my place."

She smirked playfully, a brow quirked. "So those aren't your keys?"

"Well now, that's just gonna be my secret, ain't it."

She laughed, stroked his cheek and kissed him once more before sliding into her car. "Goodnight, James."

"Night, Blondie." He closed the door for her and waited until she drove off before walking back upstairs. Time for a cold shower.

**Author's Note: **Here's another chapter for everyone. I hope you enjoy. Thanks to everyone who read and those who reviewed. Enjoy and please review. The drama will pick up next chapter.


	6. Chapter 6

**Title**: Reload

**Author: **Crimson Coin

**Rating**: T. This is a tough one. T for teen possibly bordering on R for violence.

**Copyright:** This fan fiction is by no means intended to infringe on any copyright. I do not own the characters nor the series lost. My ideas are my own.

**Genre:** Drama/Romance

**Pairing:** The romantic pairing is Juliet/Sawyer – as per canon.

**Summary**: After a life of crime, Sawyer must prove himself worthy of an afterlife with Juliet. A continuation from the series finale.

James stood in the center of a crime scene at a back alley, staring at the body of a woman so carelessly disposed beside a dumpster. He did not focus on her face yet, instead observing the scene. Miles crouched by the woman's head and frowned. "Looks like she'd been strangled. Can't tell by what. Defensive wounds on her hands. She's naked so he has no respect for her. Same goes too since she was just thrown here like the trash. Didn't Fox have a case like this a couple months ago?"

Miles stood to dial his cell. "Fox, its Straume. Did you have a murder a couple months ago. Woman thrown in a dumpster, naked, defensive wounds, strangled … yeah … yeah well I think Ford and I have another. Get your files out. Yeah. Ok yeah. We'll see you later."

James walked around the scene, looking for any sign of exit or entrance or the crime. "This is just the dumping point." He frowned and looked at the body. He pulled a plastic glove from his back pocket and put it on then turned the woman's left arm. "Miles."

Miles crouched down to look and frowned. "Binding. Maybe rope was there? She was bound wherever she was. "

"No, not that. Look at her hand. A wedding ring. But it's not hers."

"How the hell do you know that?"

"Cuz it don't fit." He pointed. "See how loose it is? It's a man's ring and it was pinched to keep it on. See how thick it is?" Then smirked. "They don't teach ya that with all yer college do they."

Miles nodded. "We'll have to ask Fox if that was the same with his vic."

Back at the precinct, James sat in one of the conference rooms with Fox, Trimm and Miles. Miles had put up a photo of the victim, the crime scene and the wounds on the body. Fox did the same with his victim, putting both side by side on the corkboard.

Trimm was a man in his late 40's with black hair, the sides just starting to grey. His jaw, brow and nose strong and angular. He was an imposing figure, always appearing angered or agitated. He was a great interrogator. Fox was the newest detective, only promoted about a year prior. He was young, only in his late twenties with bright blue eyes. His hair was always kept short, buzzed to about half an inch. He claimed it was to keep the curls down or else he was like the comedian Carrot Top on a humid day. Living in Miami, everyday was humid.

Fox sat beside James, his eyes focused on the file of his victim in front of him. "We never identified her. And she didn't match any missing persons in the state. Uhm the doc said she was killed by stabbing, three punctures. One to the chest, two to the abdomen. The chest stab was post mortem. She was raped."

Miles nodded, standing at the tableside staring down into his file. "Our victim was identified as Molly Hartfeld. She didn't come home from work last night. Her roommate called the police this morning, and that description matched our vic. Molly was 30 years old and worked for a corporate banking firm. She was fairly successful, no clear enemies other than perhaps something at work. We can look into that. She was found with the same defensive wounds as your victim but was also strangled as well as stabbed. Cause of death, stab wound to the stomach, exsanguination."

"Victim Jane Doe," Trim flipped through his notes. "Five foot eight inches, one hundred forty pounds, hair: brown. Eyes: Blue."

Miles wrote the notes in his pad. "Molly, we have five foot seven inches. One hundred twenty pounds. Hair: blonde. Eyes: Blue."

James sat in silence, staring at the photos, his mind swirling with thought. It was often like this in these meetings. Miles did most of the talking, James did most of the thinking. Now was the time to speak. "If this is the same guy, we can't let on that there's need to panic. The last thing we need is the city freakin' out over another serial killer. We gotta find this guy and fast. Before he evolves."

Trimm nodded in agreement. "I'll call Jack. If anyone can get us a profile, Jack can."

Fox stood. "I'll get the Captain."

Three hours passed in the room with the detectives. James sighed, finally exasperated. "Look, this ain't gettin' us anywhere until we identify Jane Doe. We gotta do that to know what they have in common. So far all we got to go on is both their eyes are blue."

The captain sighed. "Ford. We're all tired."

Jack, a man in his fifties of moderate build with thinning hair tapped his chin. "Detective Ford is right. So far all we have going is the blue eyes in common. Trimm, Fox, go back to the scene of your murder. Take the picture and see if you can get anyone who knows something. Somebody must know her. I'll get the photo on the news. We can have our artist draw a more, lifelike photo and less, dead."

A week later, another girl's body was found near a dumpster at another part of the city. She was naked as the others, with similar wounds, stabbed three times, twice to the stomach, once to the heart. Raped. The victim was identified as Gina Lakeland, 29 years old. Tourist from Indiana. blonde hair, blue eyes, five foot ten inches tall, same build as the other girls.

James stood from the table and paced the room, then leaned against the back wall. His eyes focused intensely on the board, now with the pictures of three girls. The first victim had been identified, a Minnie Cox. Native of Miami, 31 years old. Bartender. James sighed and pushed off the wall. "He's telling us somethin' with that damn ring. He's puttin' rings on their fingers and clampin' them."

Jack nodded. "Yes, he's living out a fantasy likely, in a wife. He may be impotent, using the knife and then raping because he feels incapable of having a woman. Dead is the only way she can be compliant. The man likely is or was married and couldn't live up to the expectations of a man of the house. Perhaps he was submissive in the relationship."

Miles nodded. "Rape is also control. He could be punishing his victim. Or this woman is the wife substitute."

Jack nodded. "True, both are possible."

James listened to the others as he walked towards the corkboard, focusing on the pictures of the three women. "When do we go public? We may have to say somethin' soon."

The captain nodded. "I know. But not yet. We can't have panic with nothing to calm them and right now we have nothing to calm them. Alright, look we're all tired. We've been here 18 hours. Get home. Get some sleep. We'll meet up first thing tomorrow morning with clear heads."

James waited near half an hour, staring at the photos of the crime scene. The captain, on his way out, stopped by the door. "Ford."

James turned.

The captain watched him a long moment. "Go home, Ford. Clear your head."

James nodded and walked past the captain. He picked up his jacket from the chair by his desk and turned off the light.

He left the precinct and drove home. Dazed, his mind swirled with visions of the crime scene, the victims. How could someone do this? All the horrors he saw of war, full combat. And yet sometimes he wondered who the real monsters were? The enemies from war. Or these sick ass civilians.

Home, he parked the car and sat, staring out the windshield, unmoving. Minutes passed, maybe an hour. He'd been at the precinct all night. He looked like hell, he knew it. He reached up to scratch his chin, his scruff rough. He got out of the car and walked. He didn't focus on where he walked, just knew he had to walk. It would clear his head.

He stopped in front of the hospital. He wasn't trying to get here. He just had to get here. Standing, he knew he had to see her. Just to look at her. Make sure she was alive, and ok and it wasn't her lifeless blue eyes staring back at him from a coroner's slab.

He walked into the lobby and looked at the directory board. The doctors were listed by name in tiny text. He squinted to read then bypassed the elevator and took the stairs up four flights. Determined, he continued down the hall past various offices and disregarded the receptionist. "Sir? Sir, do you have an appointment? Wait, you can't go back there!"

He ignored her and faintly heard her say the word 'security'. A man with a mop grabbed his arm to try and stop him but James turned on him and nearly snarled, intimidating. The man released him, mumbling. "I ain't paid enough for this." Then took out a radio to call security.

James checked the numbers of the doors as he passed them and pushed through the number given as hers as he heard security run down the hall.

Juliet sat at her desk with an array of charts spread out before her. She startled at his entrance, wide-eyed and stood then looked confused. "James?"

He watched as she walked out from behind her desk, dressed in tailored slacks and blouse with that white lab coat. She was here and fine and alive and looked worried. He closed the distance between them and hugged her, tightly.

"Hey," She whispered and stroked his hair and smiled. "Well this is a nice surprise."

Security rushed to her door and stopped, skeptical. "Dr. Burke?"

"It's fine." She soothed James softly then looked at the guards and offered a smile. "I know him, it's alright. I'm sorry for the interruption it won't happen again."

They seemed unsure but nodded slowly. "If you need us, we're just outside."

"She ain't be needin' ya." James snapped.

Juliet rested a hand on his shoulder to calm him then walked to the door. He didn't hear what she said to the security guards. He turned away and walked towards the large window at one end of her office. He looked outside.

She convinced the security personnel to leave then approached him cautiously. She stood a few feet back and crossed her arms, a slow smirk on her face. "You can be quite intimidating when you channel the marine."

"I'm sorry," he nearly croaked, voice rasped and husked. "I just had to see ya and couldn't be bothered with all the nonsense I'da likely had to go through if I did it the other way."

"I'm flattered."

He chuckled. "Yeah, well, I'm sure you're regrettin' now gettin' involved with some stalker cop."

"Are you some stalker cop?"

He smirked back over his shoulder at her. "Only with you, baby."

She shook her head, a smile on her face and walked up to him, sliding her arms around his waist from behind then pressed her cheek to his back. She hugged him tightly. "You looked at me as if I were the walking dead." She didn't bother asking if he was alright, obviously he wasn't. Her thumbs teased circles on his stomach as she waited for him to talk.

"I … I know. It's been a long day. I had to see ya."

"How long have you been at work?"

"What day is it?"

She frowned. "Seriously?"

"Yeah."

"Thursday."

James paused in thought. "I reported to the precinct at 6 pm Wednesday night. I just got off. Captain sent us home to clear our heads."

"Jesus, James, you must be ready to collapse!"

"Just about. Runnin' on adrenaline at this point. It's alright, I ran on less in the service." He turned to look down at her. "I must look like hell. I can't imagine what they thought with me comin' in here."

She smirked. "You do look like hell, but that's alright. I like the beard on you. Just trim it."

He rolled his eyes. "Yes, dear."

"Now you're learning," she laughed. She kept her tone light, her eyes tender and touch gentle. She knew something happened at work, and something was serious to keep him on shift so many hours. It touched her that he rushed here right after. Perhaps he needed a little bit of life in a job full of death. She understood that. He had been everything she needed after she lost that baby in the ER. "Do you have to work tomorrow?"

"Yeah. And Saturday. But I have off Sunday and Monday for Memorial Day."

She nodded. "And we have the barbeque on Sunday. That'll help you relax. Then Monday we can just go to the beach or a movie or something. You're too tense." She reached up to touch his shoulders. "Look, I have a couple more patients today but I'm done at 5:30. Why don't you come over tonight?"

"For a massage?" He smirked.

"If you're lucky," she teased, eyeing him flirtatiously.

"And if I'm really lucky?"

"Well, we'll just have to see then won't we."

"Mmmm," he smiled, happily distracted and slipped his arms around her waist. "I like where this is going."

"Thought you would." She teased then smiled at him. "Say 6:30? I'll pick up some movies on the way home and we can order a pizza or something. Really simple and relaxing."

"Hmm, movies and pizza and a sexy girl."

She laughed. "Sexy girl, hmm? And who are you planning on bringing to my house?"

"Don't sell yourself short, blondie. You're sexy as hell and by now I'm sure ya know the effect you have on me. Not like I can always hide it."

"You can't," She watched him then kissed him softly. "And it doesn't bother me. Again, it's flattering." She smirked playfully. "Why don't you head on home and get some sleep and wash up. You have a little time. And I'll see you at 6:30, alright? And if you fall asleep on my couch, I won't be offended."

He cupped her cheek, a thumb brushing her lips and he smirked when her lips pursed to kiss the pad of his thumb. He didn't have to say anything. It was like she knew exactly what he needed, when he needed it. It was an ethereal sensation, to be so in sync with someone. He loved it. And it scared the hell out of him.

**Author's Note: **And here's the next part, I hope you enjoy. I know it was a little short compared to the last two, but the next two will be longer. Thanks to everyone for reading and a special awesome thanks to everyone who reviewed. I like the ego stroke seeing the emails coming in for reviews. It inspires me to keep writing. By all means review me, flame me, let me know what you think. Even if it's just a smiley face. Or a sad face. This chapter wasn't exactly happy.


	7. Chapter 7

**Title**: Reload

**Author: ** Crimson Coin

**Rating**: T. This is a tough one. T for teen possibly bordering on R for violence.

**Copyright:** This fan fiction is by no means intended to infringe on any copyright. I do not own the characters nor the series lost. My ideas are my own.

**Genre:** Drama/Romance

**Pairing:** The romantic pairing is Juliet/Sawyer – as per canon.

**Summary**: After a life of crime, Sawyer must prove himself worthy of an afterlife with Juliet. A continuation from the series finale.

Juliet arrived home a little before six. She put down her bag and kicked the door closed. Relieved, she flicked on the lights and played the messages on her answering machine.

BEEP

"Juliet, it's your mother. I'm calling to remind you that you're bringing pasta salad to the party on Sunday. Now don't forget or else we'll have nothing to eat with the chicken other than your Aunt's corn salsa and you know how I hate to only have one side dish. I mean what if someone doesn't want corn salsa. And your pasta salad is so delicious. Only don't over cook the pasta this time. Last time it was a little mush and it just wasn't tasty. It needs to be firm, al dente. Remember, eight to twelve minutes, no more. And cut the onions smaller. See you Sunday, love you."

BEEP

"Juliet, it's your mother again. Don't put your hair up when you come to the party, you're so much prettier with it down. Rose's son, Danny, will be there. You remember Danny, don't you? I told you about him last week. He's a lawyer in Boca and he's so handsome. I think you two would really like each other and have a lot to talk about. Rachel told me you're bringing somebody to the party which is nice dear, it is. She said he's a cop but that doesn't mean you can't talk to Danny. Just to see, you know, you may just hit it off with him. And he's a lawyer, that's right up your field, you're a doctor and he's a lawyer. And you haven't been seeing that cop boy too long. I'm your mother, dear, just looking out for you because I love you."

Juliet rolled her eyes and tossed the movies from the video store on the coffee table.

BEEP

"Juliet, it's Rachel. I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened, but I lost your key to the apartment. I thought I had it but it must have fallen off at the gym or the grocery store or something. Not that that's a big deal. Your lock sucked anyway. It was so finicky like I had to put the key in and jerk it to the right then do a jig and say the magic word for the thing to open. I'm sure you can smooth it over with your super to replace the lock. Bat your eyes or something, he has a thing for you anyway. See you Sunday."

She called down to the superintendent and after a few minutes and even some flirting, she managed to convince him to change her locks the next day. She would be home, it made sense. Voicing concerns about crime and being a woman alone in an apartment it wasn't safe to have a key out there with the name of the apartment complex on it. That got his attention and he agreed to change the lock the next morning.

She quickly showered and changed into a pair of jeans and a knit short sleeved top. She didn't have time to pull on a pair of socks when there was a knock on her door. "Be right there?"

"Take yer time."

She smiled at the sound of James sweet southern drawl. This was a situation she never would have guessed. Juliet Burke, esteemed researcher and doctor, attracted to a rough southern cowboy. She opened the door and smiled at him. "Hey, there."

"Hey yerself," He smirked and stepped inside, closing the door as he ducked his head to kiss her, hands on her waist as he slowly backed her up against the closet just past the front door.

She easily followed his lead and chuckled against his lips. "I see what you have in mind."

"Bad plan?"

"Mmm, no." She kissed him again a few long moments before pulling back to hug him. "You look more rested. Can you really feel more rested after only a few hours of sleep."

He nuzzled her throat. "Probably not. It's a second wind. I'll collapse after a couple hours."

She chuckled. "Alright, what do you want to eat tonight?"

He groaned. "Baby, that ain't a fair question."

She rolled her eyes and paused a moment then whispered to him. "Soon, James, I …"

"Shhh," kissed her silent then watched her. "Well you promised me pizza, so I say pizza. And I love meat." He grinned. "I know ya may not want the mega meat pie, but at least some type a meat on it."

She smiled, ever grateful that he never pushed her. She hugged him tightly in gratitude then slipped from his arms to walk into the kitchen. "I have a menu from a place down the block if you want them to deliver."

"Sounds great to me. I'm payin'." He entered the den and picked up the movies. "So what did we get. Animal House, The Big Lebowski, Caddyshack and … Hellraiser? Damn, blondie, ya certainly have an interesting selection. Ok so … " he held the three comedies in one hand and the horror in another. "Which a these things is not like the other?"

She laughed at him. "I love horror movies, what do you want. You don't have to watch it if you don't want to, I'll just watch it tomorrow without you then. Plus those comedies, I thought you could use something mindless and funny."

He smirked at that and nodded then tossed them down again. "Good choices. So you're not a rom com kinda gal?"

"If you mean that watching when harry met sally gets me going? Then no."

"Ah," he pressed his lips together, hiding a smile and his brow lifted playfully. "Hellraiser gets you goin'? Kinky."

She brought the menu to the couch and sat, legs crossed and smacked him with the menu. "Oh come on, James, don't you remember high school? Sneaking into a horror movie with a girl and have her yelp at a scene and then curl into you for protection."

"Well, yeah, but I don't picture you as a yelp and cuddle kinda girl."

She laughed. "No, I'm not. I don't need to yelp to cuddle." She quirked a brow, flirtatious and then glanced at the menu. "Alright, Mr. Ford, pick your pizza."

He sat beside her and plucked the menu from her hands. "Let's see. Well what don't you like on your pizza?"

"Anchovies."

"Me neither. What else?"

She shrugged casually. "Anything else I'd eat really. Oh but no pineapple. Don't get me wrong, I love the stuff. Just fruit doesn't belong on pizza."

He chuckled, gently. "Naw, I agree there. Alright ya like sausage? What about sausage, peppers and onions."

"Sounds perfect." She handed him the phone. "You call."

He shook his head at her and took the phone. "Pawnin' off the work to the man. Typical." He grinned as she huffed and walked back into the kitchen.

She opened the fridge as he ordered the pizza and grabbed the two liter bottle of soda. She returned to the couch with the soda, two cups, a stack of napkins and two plates. "I know what you're thinking. Beer? But not tonight, ok?"

He appeared confused, brow furrowed. "I could really use it."

"I know." She sat and slid her fingers along his forearm to take his hand. "That's why. You looked off today. I don't want you to resort to that. It's not a solution."

"Ya think I don't know that? It helps with the edge."

"Then let me take the edge."

That was unexpected. Curious, he tilted his head, eyeing her. "Ya don't know what that means. I mean, when the day is rough …"

"Oh, and you think I don't know about rough days?" She laughed. "Trust me, James. I know all about rough days. And yes, sometimes I like a glass of wine to calm the nerves. But you were more than nerves today. You were a man livid and on a mission. Stay clear headed with me tonight, ok? For me."

He appraised her a long moment then squeezed her hand. "It ain't easy though, ya know? I mean all this shit I'm goin' through and what I'm tryin' to do and I can't even tell ya. It's hard sometimes. Workin' in homicide. Some people … they're sick bastards."

She listened patiently, thumb brushing the back of his hand.

He sighed and raked a hand through his hair. "I just … I saw the girl on the slab in the morgue. She was younger than me and … maybe your age. I just had to see you." He chuckled. "Ugh, that sounds so damn sappy."

"It does."

He glanced to her and eyed that familiar teasing smirk and the way her eyes held his playfully. "You know, alotta guys would be intimidated by you. Ya don't make it easy always apprasin' and eyein' up and down and ya got this stare that just goes right through me."

"Does that bother you?"

He scoffed and shook his head at the knock on the door. He stood to answer it and glanced back. "Creepy part is, it turns me on." He turned back to the door. "Freakin' scary, ain't it."

She laughed when he opened the door and pulled a twenty from his pocket to pay for the pizza. He carried the pizza back to the coffee table and set it down, then sat beside her.

"I don't think it's freaking scary," she smirked. "I like that I turn you on."

James grabbed the movies and picked one of the comedies, popping it into the DVD player before rejoining her on the couch. He took the remote to start the movie then reached for a slice of pizza. They ate, watching the movie, laughing and joking. James hadn't felt so relaxed in weeks. She just got to him, made him laugh, forget his troubles and just lose himself in the time he spent with her. He couldn't imagine how amazing it would be to lose himself in her completely. And damn, he'd been dreaming of that for the last few weeks.

She was smokin' hot with a killer smile and the best damn legs he'd ever seen. He only had a small glimpse of them, but he knew. Somehow, he knew. He argued to himself it was because her slacks and jeans were always tailored to leave little to the imagination. But he could picture those legs in his mind wrapped around his …

"James?"

"Huh?" He shook his head of the distraction and looked to her. "What?"

She pointed to his chest where the plate he held was dripping grease onto his buttoned down shirt. She hid a smile.

He bolted up. "Ah, shit!" He put the plate on the table then unbuttoned the shirt. He walked into the kitchen and pulled off the shirt.

She laughed. "Wait, wait." She stood to help him. "Here, give it to me. I'll treat it and put it in the wash."

He sighed, frustrated and shook his head. "Sorry I was just thinking and …"

"About your case?"

"Uh … yeah."

She smiled in understanding then walked towards her bathroom and opened a long shuttered door, exposing the washer/dryier. She treated his shirt then tossed it into the washer. She included a few of her own items then turned it on. "I'd offer you a shirt but mine wouldn't fit you."

He returned to the couch, shirtless and looking just comfortable.

"You know," she stood in the kitchen, watching him. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you did that on purpose to sit there shirtless. But you looked too surprised and pissed at the stain to be acting."

"I could be a good actor, you know."

"You're not a good actor. I can see right through you." She cleared the pizza as James picked the second movie.

"You know since I'm shirtless, I think it's only fair that you're shirtless too."

"It doesn't work that way."

"Bullshit, it should work that way."

She laughed. "It takes more than that to get my top off." She returned to the couch. "Which did you put in?"

He grinned and leapt over the coffee table to sit on the couch again. "The horror movie. I'm bankin' on a yelp and cuddle. Then I'll get yer top off."

She relished the movie, eyes wide as she watched. "I've seen this so many times, but I always thought it was so cool how they did the puppetry." As the movie progressed, they stretched out on their sides, laying together, spooned on the couch, he to the back, she in front. He draped a casual arm over her waist as they propped themselves up slightly with the cushions. She traced random patterns on his hand with her fingers, snuggling closer.

He smirked victoriously and pulled her tighter, watching the movie carefully. He was expecting a lively debate about something regarding this movie and he was going to be ready for it.

The washer buzzed and she paused the movie then got up to see to it. He watched her the entire way and waited patiently for her to come back. When she did, he reached for her and he tugged her back down in front of him. She seemed nervous, a little unsure but soon settled right back against him and started the movie again.

At the end of the movie, she smiled and glanced back at him. "James, wasn't that …" then trailed off. He was fast asleep. Her eyes softened and she reached up to gently stroke her fingers along his brow then down his jaw. She kissed him sweetly, very softly then slowly disentangled from his arms. She turned the movie off and turned the lights down. She covered him with a blanket from the back of the couch then cleared the dishes.

"Mmm, leavin' me alone?"

She chuckled softly. "You fell asleep. I was going to let you. You need it."

"Come back to bed. It felt good to have ya here."

"What time do you go in tomorrow?"

"Mmm, ten." He stretched and sighed, scratching his chest. "I guess I should go home." He stood and walked toward her, collecting his shirt from the hanger on the door leading to the hall and the bedrooms.

She watched him almost intensely as if debating. She desired him. To hold him. His arms around her had sparked feelings within her that she had not felt in years. All she wanted was to pull him into that room, to the bed. No, she couldn't. This was the heat of the moment. It was the now, in the morning she would regret it. Wouldn't she? How could she ever regret him? He'd been so patient, so caring so perfect. Wasn't he? She still knew little of his past, he never spoke of it. Did that even matter?

He grinned. "I can see the wheel turnin' in that head a yours. Thanks for cleanin' my shirt. No sign a stain."

"Will you come by tomorrow?"

"I can." He grinned. "I work til 7, as long as nothing keeps me late. I'll call ya at 6 to let ya know for sure." He watched her then cupped her cheek. She looked away but he turned her eyes back to his.

He kissed her once, then again. "Sleep tight, Darlin'. Dream a me."

She smiled for him and he took her hand as he walked to the door. "Goodnight, James."

"Goodnight, Blondie."

**Author's Note:** And yet another chapter. This one is short but the next one is longer and the one after, longer than that. Less drama, more romance here and the same in the next two chapters. Hope you enjoy. I love reviews so send them my way, please. I like to know if people are reading, especially liking.


	8. Chapter 8

**Title**: Reload

**Author: **Crimson Coin

**Rating**: T. This is a tough one. T for teen possibly bordering on R for violence.

**Copyright:** This fan fiction is by no means intended to infringe on any copyright. I do not own the characters nor the series lost. My ideas are my own.

**Genre:** Drama/Romance

**Pairing:** The romantic pairing is Juliet/Sawyer – as per canon.

**Summary**: After a life of crime, Sawyer must prove himself worthy of an afterlife with Juliet. A continuation from the series finale.

Juliet received a call around 5 pm. James had given sincere regrets that he did not know what time he'd be able to leave the precinct. She, of course, understood. As a doctor always on call, she knew the call of duty and knew it could often not be ignored. She also knew something serious was happening. James had been distracted the last few weeks, the last two days especially.

She worried. This was part of his job, she knew that. She understood that. Didn't make it easier. She shook her head, trying to clear it of any more thoughts. She looked back down at the book in her lap.

A half hour passed; she was on the same page. Frustrated, she tossed the book on the opposite couch and stood. At 7pm Juliet paced the living space of her house then changed out of her clothes into a pair of shorts and a sports bra. She tied her sneakers tightly then got on the treadmill in her bedroom.

She ran.

After an hour, she dripped with sweat, the exertion freeing the pent up frustrations. Panting, she walked to the kitchen to pour herself a large glass of water. Her hair, tied back casually, was coming loose, the strands stuck to her neck. Her face flushed, hands slick as she drank the full glass then refilled.

The release from the run was exhilarating. She was tempted to go back on the treadmill but decided against it. No, she didn't think she could handle another few miles.

Someone knocked on her front door.

She sighed and put the glass down. "Who is it?"

"It's me."

She recognized the voice instantly. James. She opened the door.

He eyed her up and down then grinned. "Started without me, Blondie?"

She laughed and rolled her eyes, pulling him inside. "I'm sorry, I'm a mess. I was sick of pacing and waiting and needed to exert some energy."

"Worth repeatin'. Ya started without me."

"On the treadmill, James." She walked into the kitchen. "Are you hungry? I have some leftovers if you want them. I need to shower."

"I'll join you."

She laughed. "Good try. There's meatloaf in there. And some potatoes, warm them up in the microwave."

He chuckled and nodded. "Alright, I know when I'm not wanted. I'll just sit here and eat while you have all the fun in there."

When she left the room, he opened her fridge and pulled out a plate she had already made. It appeared she had it waiting for him. He smiled and put the plate in the microwave to heat it up. He faintly heard the shower turn on and bit back a groan at the thought of her stripping down to get under the water.

Yeah, he wanted it bad, was almost at the point of needing her. He let the vision consume his thoughts and it chased away the horrors of the day, the stand still, the stress of no further developments in the case. He worried. The guy was obviously targeting women and all women were last seen within two miles of Miami General Hospital. Two miles within his home. Right under his damn nose.

He draped his coat over the chair in the living room and pulled a bag from the coat pocket. He wound the plastic handles around it a few times then placed it on the chair. The microwave beeped.

Juliet walked out of the bathroom. She wore a loose pair of pajama bottoms and a tank top. She tilted her head, drying her hair with a hand towel as she walked into the kitchen. "I hope you like it. I think I overcooked the meatloaf."

He paused. He already finished half the plate. "Tastes fine to me."

She chuckled and sat across from him at the table. "Doesn't mean it's not overcooked."

"Ya can't overcook meatloaf." He took another big bite.

"Of course you can. It gets dry."

He watched her a moment, chewing. "Yer a great cook."

"Well thank you. Do you want to watch another movie?"

"Sure. Do I get to be shirtless again?"

She rolled her eyes and walked from him to the television. "If you must, but you don't need to purposefully spill something on yourself to do it."

He chuckled and put his dish into the sink. "Well next time this shirt comes off, it's gonna be because you ripped it off me."

"Keep wishing over there, Ford. I'm not some oversexed teenager."

"Maybe, ya should be." He winked playfully then leapt over the back of the couch to sit beside her.

She watched the television a long moment, lost in thought.

James waved a hand in front of her face. "Yoo hoo, blondie. Ya still there?"

She startled and smiled. "Yes, sorry. Was just thinking."

"No more thinkin'. I got ya a present."

"A present? For me?"

"Yup," he reached over to the chair and handed the bag to her. "I didn't have time to wrap it. Didn't think it was something to wrap."

A genuine smile tugged at her lips. "Thank you, James." She carefully opened the bag and peered inside, confused. "Oh." She slowly picked up the box. "A taser?"

"Yeah"

She smirked. "And you called me kinky. Is this your idea of foreplay?"

He chuckled and shook his head. "No." He took her hands, squeezed and stared at the taser. "Look I know it ain't some big romantical gesture or anythin' like that. But … there's just stuff at work and I'd never forgive myself if somethin' happened to ya."

"Is it even legal for me to have this?"

"Oh yeah. Ya just have to keep it concealed, like in yer purse and then only use it in self defense. But you promise me, you'll use it."

She watched him, concerned. James was many things, many layers and often those layers were masked by joking, sarcasm and flirtation. There was none now in his voice. His concern, even fear for her was obvious and touching. "I saw the news today. They said there's a serial killer."

"We don't know that yet." He sighed and rubbed his eyes. "We don't know that, we don't have enough to call him that but there are women being kidnapped and murdered and I …"

She squeezed his hand.

"I don't want anything to happen to ya." He chuckled. "So just humor me, alright?"

"It's sweet."

He smiled. "Do ya know how to use it?"

"I do."

He laughed. "I should be worried. Now when I put the moves on, yer gonna fire that damn thing at my throat instead a sayin' no."

She chuckled. "Or distract you from behind and when you turn, BAM, I got you."

"So I have to ask how you know how to use one."

She shrugged. "Years ago I took a self defense class. They taught us to physically fight, but also how to use pepper spray and a taser."

"Makes sense. Here let me set it up for you." He took the box. Within a few minutes he had it ready. "Alright the cartridge is in and this is the safety. Flick it like this, then its live and then just point and fire. It's good within fifteen feet." He placed the taser on the coffee table.

"Thank you."

He watched her. "I just creeped you out, didn't I. Gettin' ya a taser for a present." He sighed and stood.

She reached and took his hand. "No it didn't creep me out. I'm worried because whatever is happening, it has you anxious. I can see that." She tugged his hand down. "Come here."

When he sat, she crawled into his lap and cupped his cheeks, kissing him slowly. The tension drained from his muscles as his arms slid around her; his eyes closed as he returned the kiss. Minutes passed and his desire mounted. She felt it in his body, his hands and his mouth.

"James, wait …"

He groaned and ducked his head on her shoulder. "Baby … ya gotta stop doin' that to me. Get me goin' and teasin' then just stoppin'."

"I'm sorry." She hugged him tightly. "I'm sorry, you've been so patient and I know what you want."

"Don't you want it too? I mean if ya don't want me like that, just tell me now. Put me outta my misery."

"I do. I do desire you like that it's just …" she sat back a little, still in his lap and looked over his shoulder. "I haven't exactly had the best experiences and the last guy I slept with was murdered." She laughed, though it was forced and she rubbed her eyes. "And I was married before that and let's just say that didn't end well either. I really like you, James."

"Well I like you too. And we all got our baggage in the past. But I ain't those other guys."

"I know. It's just hard. I'm trying."

"Well I ain't gonna get murdered. I mean I'm a marine, ya can't exactly catch me off guard. And if I survived all those years in the service, I think I can survive on the streets of Miami."

She rested her head on his shoulder, a hand splayed on his chest to feel the rhythmic beating of his heart. It soothed her.

"Tell me about your husband."

She scoffed a laugh and slowly shook her head. "He was a jerk. I thought he loved me. Maybe he did at some point. I was young and stupid, I suppose. He married me for my brain, not me. I made him rich. He and the company made millions, I became esteemed in the field. While I was giving seminars, he had research assistants and receptionists. I suspected for a while. I found out for certain when I saw it. I didn't wait around, I divorced him. It was messy. I had to leave my job; he was my boss."

He watched her, a serious frown furrowed his brow. "What the hell is wrong with him? I mean why would he want to cheat on ya?"

"I don't know. Maybe I wasn't enough. Anyway, it doesn't matter. The point is that …" she frowned too.

"He was just an ass." He reached up to wipe the beginnings of a tear sliding down her cheek. "Hey. No tears. He ain't worth yer tears."

She sniffed and shrugged. "Doesn't make it hurt any less."

"No, it doesn't."

She shifted, uncomfortable. "Well now that I've aired my dirty laundry, I still know nothing about you."

He refused to release her, instead stroked her back. "Alright. Pick a topic. Ask me."

"Really?"

He smiled softly and ran a finger along her jaw. "It's only fair. Ask anything."

She held his eyes, serious, almost intimidating. "Tell me about your parents."

His smile faltered then fell. He looked away.

"James," She turned his face back to her. "Please, tell me. It haunts you, I've seen that. Edmund and Tom haunt me. Your parents haunt you. I want to know why."

He eased her off his lap then stood, pacing to the balcony window. He stared out, silent. She stayed where she was, watching, waiting, and expectant.

"I was eight when they died. Both of 'em."

She watched his profile, his eyes distant. His voice was far removed, as if narrating a story. A defensive act.

"I, uhm … I was upstairs in their bedroom." He smiled softly, remembering. "Ma hated when I played in their room. But I was always under the bed. It was so high and I could sit under there and play. Used my army men and waged war. Maybe it's what planted the seed to be a soldier."

He sighed. "Anyway, one day dad came home and they had a big fight. I didn't know what it was then but I learned later. Ma had an affair, some guy called himself Sawyer. He was a conman. Dad found out and came home and they had a fight. I was under the bed. I heard him slap her. She cried out. She ran up to the bedroom. I heard her come inside and slam the door closed. She was cryin'. She was scared. He kicked the door down. I was scared, huddlin' there under the bed like a coward."

She wanted to reach for him, to touch him but she remained, listening.

"A god damn coward." He trailed off a long moment, silent. "Then I heard the gun shot." Chuckled and shook his head. "I pissed myself. Ma dropped, I saw her, layin' there. Starin' at me. She wasn't dead yet. I heard the gun again then dad dropped. I watched Ma die. I was scared, I didn't move. The cops came shortly. Neighbor musta called. They found me there." He paused again then whispered. "I watched her die. Maybe if I came out ya know? Maybe dad wouldn't a done it. Not in front a me. Or hell maybe he'da killed me too."

She stood and walked to him. Resting a hand on his back, she pressed closer to him. Her hands slid around his waist and she hugged him, holding him.

He sighed and leaned back into her just a little. "At the funeral, I started writin' a revenge note to Sawyer. My uncle saw it and told me not to do it. To move on. I didn't finish the letter. I burnt it. My uncle raised me. But what I saw … it changes you. I was a bit of a delinquent. Got into some trouble. Pulled my shit together by senior year and managed to graduate. I was so angry, had no purpose, no reason ya know? It woulda been so easy to just give up and hunt down the bastard that took everything from me. Go after him, find him. Kill him. I wanted to." He shook his head. "I couldn't. And I just had this … feelin. It was weird. Like this sinkin' feelin' in my gut just drivin' me away from the crime. Plus Ma … she wouldn't a wanted that. Me to be a criminal. Then I'd be no better than the bastard who took everything from me. So I figured I'd join the marines. If anyone can get me to harness my anger and channel it, it was them."

She pressed her lips to his back then tightened her arms.

"Even now, it would be so easy to find him. With a click of the mouse, I could get him. It would be so easy …" he trailed off then slowly shook his head again. "I can't do that. To throw this all away … my job … you … my friends … and all for revenge. So instead, I catch them. Criminals. I catch the fuckin' bastards and hopefully before they can screw with anybody else's life. Ya know what?" he glanced back over his shoulder. "You'll probably kick me the hell out but … when we were in the hospital and you were tryin' to save that baby. A part of me actually hoped that ya couldn't. That way the kid wouldn't grow up like me. Knowin' that your father killed your mother than himself … and left ya all alone. You weren't enough to…" he trailed off.

She remained silent a long moment. What could she say to that? Her hands splayed on his stomach, holding him tightly. When she finally spoke, her voice was low, gentle and soothing. "James, it would have been so easy for you to fall through the cracks. But you didn't. You refused to. How easily you could have become exactly what you hated?" She stepped back to walk around him, standing in front. She cupped his cheek, drawing his eyes down to her. "But you didn't. I can't begin to understand what it was like for you, growing up like that. Witnessing that."

"Don't pity me."

"I don't. I admire you."

He frowned. "Admire me?"

"Yes. I wouldn't have had the strength to do what you've done. Most people wouldn't." She lifted up onto her toes, hugging him. Her eyes closed as he ducked his head into her throat.

He inhaled deeply. "Ya smell good."

She smirked. "I did just shower."

He waited a long many moments. "You're not throwin' me out."

"Did you think I would?"

"I don't know. Maybe."

"I'm not."

He smiled, relieved and pursed his lips at her throat. Her eyes fluttered as he nibbled and teased her. She hummed softly, stroking his hair. They stood by the window, holding each other, rocking slowly. She whispered in his ear. "You said, nobody called you James after your mother died. She called you James, didn't she?"

He nodded.

"Does it hurt you, when I call you James?"

He thought many long moments about it before finally shaking his head. "No. No, it feels right. You sayin' it. To hear it used to make me angry and I hated it. But it's different with you. I want you to call me James. I can't explain it. I like it."

She chuckled. "I understand that. I like when you call me Blondie. You'd think I'd find it offensive. When I was in grade school, I punched a kid for calling me that. But it feels right when you do it. I guess it's your version of an affectionate nickname. Some women get Dear, Darling, Sweetheart. I get Blondie."

"I don't think I'm a Dear and Darlin' kinda guy. At least not in seriousness. Ya might get Sweetheart, if I'm bankin' for somethin'."

"Hmm, I'll keep that in mind."

"Can we watch the movie now? I'm sick a the angst."

She chuckled and nodded, taking his hand to lead him back to the couch. He lounged out, much as he was the previous night and waited patiently for her, eyes inviting.

She touched his cheek, stroking his jaw. "Soon, James. I just need to face my own demons."

"I waited this long. If it's all I wanted, I woulda had ya and been gone by now. I ain't goin' anywhere. 'Cept maybe the bathroom ya know to uh .." cleared his throat. "Take care a things."

She laughed and kissed him, then nestled beside him, curled into his body to watch the movie. He draped a casual arm over her stomach. He couldn't admit it to her. Couldn't admit how damn right this felt. Like it was just meant to be. Her body fit perfectly with him; her very presence calmed him and raced his heart simultaneously.

Juliet sighed, comfortable and content. Her fingers played casually with his as they watched the comedy together. "Am I a tease?"

"Course."

She laughed and smacked his hand.

"What? Ya are!" He grinned. "And ya can't hold it against me when my body betrays it. But ya keep me interested. But, as long as ya tease. Then I get to rake ya like a piece a meat."

She glanced behind her.

"What I told ya already. Yer so damn sexy." He eyed her again and his eyes focused on her chest in the flimsy tank top. "I swear, woman, yer trying to drive me insane."

She smirked and looked back at the movie again. "Maybe I am."

"Really?"

She nodded. "If I drive you wild, you won't be bored."

"Baby, no way in hell I'm gonna get bored. And when I get the green light, ya better have had yer Wheaties."

* * *

**Author's Note: **I love putting character development chapters mixed in with the drama. Sometimes constant drama becomes too much and you have to slow things down. So let me know what you thought. I had fun writing this chapter. And don't worry. Juliet is giving into him. Who couldn't! Especially when he gives you a taser. Next chapter is the Mother's Memorial Day Party.


	9. Chapter 9

**Title:** Reload

**Author: **Crimson Coin

**Rating**: T. This is a tough one. T for teen possibly bordering on R for violence.

**Copyright:** This fan fiction is by no means intended to infringe on any copyright. I do not own the characters nor the series lost. My ideas are my own.

**Genre:** Drama/Romance

**Pairing:** The romantic pairing is Juliet/Sawyer – as per canon.

**Summary**: After a life of crime, Sawyer must prove himself worthy of an afterlife with Juliet. A continuation from the series finale.

* * *

Juliet stared out the passenger window of the car. James drove the hour or so to her mother's house. "Do you want me to introduce you as Jim or James?"

He considered this carefully. "James is fine."

She smiled at that and reached for his hand, squeezing it. "There's going to be a good amount of people there. It's almost like a family reunion that mom does every year."

"How many people we talkin' about?"

She shrugged casually. "Fifty?"

"Fifty!"

She smirked. "If you don't want to go, I understand, we have time to turn back and …"

"I ain't turnin' back. I'm just … I hope I don't embarrass ya."

"How could you do that? I'm not embarrassed by you. In fact, you have all my receptionists at the hospital drooling and whispering about you now. I'm suddenly the center of office gossip."

He laughed. "I guess that's what happens when I go blazin' into yer hospital."

"Mmm"

"Will your mom and Rachel like me?"

"Rachel will love you. Mom … mom will be fine but, I just want to warn you. She has it set in her head that she can fix me up with people. She's inviting one of her friend's sons and wants me to talk to him. Even though I told her I'm seeing someone else."

"I see. And who is this friend's son?"

"I don't know. His name is Danny and he's a lawyer. Obviously that means he and I are meant to be." She scoffed. "So by my mother's logic."

"Ah," he nodded slowly. "By that logic, I don't think she'll ever like me."

"I don't need degrees or that kind of prestige. You're smart, James. We have intellectual conversations, at least when you're not goofing around." She smiled. "And you love to talk about books."

"Did I dress alright?"

She eyed him. He wore faded jeans and a button down cotton shirt, the top two buttons undone to reveal the white undershirt beneath. He rolled the sleeves up to his elbows and buttoned them and wore a pair of sneakers. "You look just fine. How about me?"

He grinned. "I checked out your ass as ya got into the car. I love those pants."

She laughed. "They're just Capri pants."

"Yeah … I'd hit that. And yer wearin' blue. I like a blue shirt on ya. Makes yer eyes stand out."

"I didn't know you could be so sentimental."

"Yeah, don't hold yer breath." He smirked playfully. "Is this the exit?"

She glanced out the window again. "Yes. Then at the end make a right. You'll be fine, James. Julian is all excited to meet you too. Apparently Rachel told him you were a cop and he wants to hear all about the siren."

He chuckled. "Of all the things he wants to hear about, it's the siren? Alright then. I guess I can tell him about the siren."

"He didn't call it a siren. He'd just mimic the sound. So if he comes up to you, screeching and whooping, that's what he's doing."

"Duly noted."

"Thank you for coming with me. It means a lot."

"To you? It means a lot to me. Thanks for havin' me. We don't got this kinda thing with my family. Well if we do, I don't go to it."

"Why not?"

He shrugged. "When I joined the marines, I didn't really keep in touch with people and when I got out, they didn't find me and I have no idea where a lot of them are. Like my cousins and stuff. I know where my uncle lives, he's up in Alabama. But the others, no idea."

"I'm sure if you reached out to them, they'd reach back."

"I don't know about that. It ain't like I come from a part of the family history they want to remember."

James drove up a winding hill and pulled behind a line of cars, keeping to the side of the dirt road to park. He glanced at her and smiled.

She leaned over to kiss him slowly then pulled back. "I really look ok?"

"Babe, ya always look fantastic." He stepped out of the car then reached into his backseat to take the cooler. He draped it over his shoulder and then walked to the other side. Juliet dug in the backseat for her purse then a tray of cookies. He held the door for her, waiting until she finished then closed it and followed her up the hill to her mother's house.

James stayed behind a few steps as Juliet hugged a woman that was most likely her sister. The two didn't quite look the same except when they smiled. Yes, this was Rachel. Juliet squeezed Rachel's hand. "Rachel, this is James."

James smiled and shook her hand. "Hey, there."

Rachel grinned. "It's about time I get to meet you. Juliet's been keeping you all to herself."

He chuckled. "Yeah, she was just waitin' to introduce me to everyone at once." He followed the sisters inside and there were far too many people to remember. Grandma was easy enough, there was only one fossil. Juliet's mother was the one shooting skeptical daggers in his general direction. Julian was the little squirt running around with blond hair like his aunt. There were about eleven boys between sixteen and twenty five, cousins or something like that, fifteen girls between twelve and twenty seven, an array of aunts and uncles and he couldn't remember any of their names. Just wonderful.

Juliet was swarmed by her family; likely she didn't see them too often. He took a can of beer from the cooler and sat down on a lounge chair on the lawn. He sighed in comfort. The sun was warm, the breeze refreshing. Grandma sat next to him. He smiled at her. "Hey, Gram."

The woman was short, no taller than five foot four inches, slender. She looked ancient but her eyes were spritely, lively. Her hands were slightly gnarled from arthritis but that didn't seem to stop her or slow her down. She was cutting vegetables in the kitchen when he walked in. She appraised him as they sat in the sun. So this was where Juliet got that look.

"Ya know, Juliet does that too."

"Does what?"

He smirked. "Sizes me up."

She chuckled. "You can learn a lot about a person by just observing."

"I know."

"You must forgive the shock of much of the family. The last time Juliet brought someone home for a party it was because she was engaged."

"Well, I'm flattered she invited me. Thanks for havin' me. It's nice to just relax."

"Juliet says you're a detective."

"That's right."

"And you were a marine."

He chuckled. "Yes, ma'am."

"My Howard was a marine. He died in World War II. He was in Africa at the time."

James watched her, his expression solemn. "He's a hero."

She smiled sadly. "He was. The hardest part was that our youngest children never knew him."

He nodded slowly.

"You know, a lot of service men become policemen or firemen when they leave the service."

"Yes, ma'am. It was the only thing I could think I could do after I left. It suits me. The hours are long and can be gruelin' but well, Juliet understands."

"Mmm. Her hours can be long and grueling too."

"Yeah, I expected that." He watched across the yard as Juliet stood with a few cousins, arms crossed over her chest. Her expression was serious, likely the conversation important. Or maybe boring. He smirked.

Grandma watched him then Juliet then chuckled.

"What's so funny, Granny?"

"Oh nothing. Just watching you sitting there pining for my granddaughter."

"I ain't pinin'."

She laughed. "Your secret is safe with me. We don't want anyone misinterpreting your gruff exterior for someone who cares."

He grinned into his beer can. "Now you're talkin', Gran."

"Now be a good boy and go get this old lady a beer."

He looked shocked then laughed and put his beer on the ground before retrieving a beer for her. He opened it then sat down and handed her the beer. "Good, cuz I needed a drinkin' partner."

"My mother always had one beer a day. And she lived to be one hundred. I'm getting there and no sense changing now. Don't tell my daughter though. She hates when I have a beer. She thinks it's going to stop my heart, but I'm still here and I'm going to be ninety next year."

He grinned at that. "Old as the hills, ma'am. Alright, if your daughter comes out, you just hand me that beer and I'll claim I'm double fistin'."

She laughed and raised her beer to him in toast. He touched the can to hers then both drank. They spoke for almost half an hour and when Juliet's mother came out, he nonchalantly took the can from Grandma's hand and held it. Juliet approached them, a teasing smirk on her face. "Getting my grandmother drunk?"

Grandma shook her head. "Oh get out of here, a beer isn't going to hurt these old bones. You got a great man here." She patted James' arm.

James grinned victoriously. "I know how to win a family over. Win the matriarch, win the family."

A couple of hours passed, burgers and chips for lunch. James gained a small following with the cousins of the party. The boys asking all about the marines and war and being a cop. James was a bit evasive but gave a little detail to answer their questions. The girls gawked and giggled at him. He supposed being one of the few unrelated people at the party, they needed something to keep them occupied.

He heard Julian approach by the loud whirring of a mimicked police siren. "Hey, shrimp."

The boy laughed at him and crawled up into his lap. The boy was likely around two maybe two and a half. James picked him up and sat him in his lap. The kid didn't say anything at first but stared at him.

"What?"

"You look like a girl."

He laughed. "I do?" Others nearby had laughed too. Juliet was a little too far away to hear. She sat at table under a tent speaking with Danny, the lawyer her mother insisted she meet. James quirked a brow at the boy. "A girl huh? Why do ya say that?"

Julian reached up to tug his long hair.

"Ah," he nodded in understanding. "But I have a beard" he rubbed his jaw and chin. "And sideburns." He pointed to the sideburns on the side of his head. "Girls don't have that."

"Yeah. But your hair's long."

He chuckled. "Yeah, but you want to know a secret?"

The boy's eyes brightened and he nodded.

James whispered. "Girls like my hair like this. Go ask Aunt Juliet."

"Ok!" He slipped out of James' lap then ran over to Juliet. "Aunt Juliet?"

She turned to the boy and smiled at him. "Hello, Julian. How are you?"

"I good." Then pointed to James. "He said you like girls."

She laughed. "What?"

"Uh huh. He did. He looks like a girl and he said you like his hair."

"Oh," then picked Julian up. "Well, his hair is a little long, but that doesn't mean he's a girl. And I do like his hair like that. You know why?"

Julian shakes his head.

"Because he looks like a pirate."

Julian's eyes brightened. "A Piwate!"

She smirked. "Yes, a Pirate." She annunciated the R in the word.

He squirmed out of Juliet's arms to race over to James and let a big. "Awwrrggggg" Then laughed and raced off. James looked absolutely confused.

Juliet laughed then looked back to Danny. He was nice enough, personable, friendly. There was really nothing to dislike. He didn't seem pompous or full of himself or egotistical, which was a nice change. But other than seeming friendly, she felt nothing. She knew what it was like to look at someone and have the heart race. Danny didn't do that. It surprised her James didn't try to interrupt her, show any signs of jealousy that Danny was spending so much time talking to her. James seemed content, sitting with her grandmother and a few of her uncles. Her cousins all seemed taken with him, the boys impressed by his prowess, the girls likely impressed with the same but for different reasons.

He was suave, teasing most of the time. Her mother didn't like him. She saw that from the start. Uh oh, Danny was watching her expectantly. Was it her turn to speak? "I'm sorry, Danny, what was that?"

"Do you want something to drink?" He stood.

"No, I'm fine, thank you," She answered and as he stepped away, she walked towards James.

James glanced up at her. "I think your nephew thinks I'm a tiger. He keeps roarin' at me."

"Not a tiger. A pirate."

"A pirate?"

She grinned. "It explained the hair and the scruff."

"Maybe but I ain't got scurvy or lice. And I still got all my own teeth. Well most of 'em."

Grandma laughed. "You have more of your own then I do."

"That's expected." James responded with a grin.

Grandma slapped his arm. "Fresh boy." Then laughed.

One of the teenage boys raced over. "Hey, James." He carried a football. "We need a quarterback. You in?"

He nodded. "Alright." He stood slowly and stretched. "I could use some runnin' around."

The boy grinned. "Yeah. Skins vs shirts. You're skin."

"Good. I didn't wanna sweat up my shirt anyway." He unbuttoned his shirt, much to the delight of Juliet's younger cousins. He whispered to Juliet. "Jeez, you'd think they never saw a man before."

"You are stripping at my mother's party," she teased and took his button down shirt, folding it then his t-shirt, folding that too.

"You're amazin', babe." He jogged to the front yard. "Don't worry," he called back. "The pants are staying on."

She rolled her eyes and placed his shirts on the picnic bench then sat beside her grandmother. She watched the teenage cousins standing under a tree, talking, pretending they weren't watching James. She shook her head. "What's gotten into them?"

Grandma snorted. "They're just being silly brainless girls. Most people here are related to them. He's good looking, and not. Let them have a little fun."

Juliet smiled and just nodded, watching the half of the game she could see from the backyard. Rachel sat beside her and smirked teasingly at her sister. "What … a babe."

Juliet laughed and shook her head. "Not you too. You know, he is more than a hunk of meat."

"Oh I'm sure," Rachel responded. "That doesn't mean we don't like to browse. I saw you talking to Danny."

Juliet sighed. "Yeah, Mom invited him for me. She doesn't like James."

Rachel patted Juliet's arm. "Give her time."

Grandma shook her head. "Doctor, lawyer, banker … the career don't make the man." She pointed towards James. "That is one fine man. And I'm not talking about looks either."

Juliet nodded. "Thanks, Gram. I'm going to head inside to help mom finish up with supper. She's been glaring at me the last hour, I suppose she wants some help." She stood and walked into the kitchen. "Need any help, Mom?"

"Put the salads on the table."

Juliet obeyed her mother and said nothing more, noting the curt tone. They worked for nearly fifteen minutes in silence before Juliet finally sighed. "What is it? Just say it already."

Mary slammed the knife down and turned. "What are you thinking, Juliet?"

Juliet put her hands on her hips. "About what, Mom?"

"Don't give me that tone. You know what I mean. Bringing him here. What are you thinking? He's not good for you. He's not … he could be an ex-con!"

"Mom he was a marine and now he's a cop. If he was an ex-con, he couldn't be a cop."

"And did you hear what he said to your grandmother. The man has no respect, he has no idea how to act."

"He made Grandma laugh. I haven't heard her laugh in years. Grandma likes him."

"Grandma is senile. I'm thinking of you. He's uneducated and disrespectful and…" she looked out the window at him. "He looks like he came off the street. Have you heard him speak? I wonder if he even finished high school or if he ran away to the marines. If he even was in the marines. Have you checked up on that? How much do you even know about him? You're infatuated!"

Juliet took a deep breath, suppressing the desire to snap back. It would solve nothing. "Education doesn't make the man. I learned that with Edmund. James is smart. He loves to read. I've talked to him about my research. He doesn't understand all of it but he understands enough to know generally what I'm talking about. I don't want someone on my own level. I don't want another doctor. But that doesn't mean he's beneath me."

"That's not the point. I saw you talking to Danny and you weren't paying him any good attention. He's nice and clean cut and well made and he can take care of you and he's just what you need."

"What, Mom? I don't need to be taken care of. I can live completely independent of anything if I wanted to. I don't need a man to take care of me. James doesn't try to take care of me. He's just … there."

"Wonderful. So he's a leech. I can think of twenty reasons why he isn't good for you, Juliet."

"How can you say that, you don't even know him."

Mary shook her head. "I don't have to know him. You can see it."

"See what?"

"Firstly, he's unkempt. He obviously doesn't care what he looks like, untrimmed and scruffy and his clothes are faded. All he does is flirt and crack jokes. You ask him something serious and he just jokes it and brushes it off. Sounds evasive to me and that's skeptical. What's he hiding? He's a drinker, he's already had four beers."

"What are you keeping track?"

"More than anyone else and I know his type. They just use women, he's using you. Its lust or infatuation and you're here giving into him and then when he up and leaves, what will happen then. You need stability, not a fling. You're already thirty three years old. You're not in college anymore. Grow up. He's going to just hurt you."

Juliet stood shocked, a little upset. A southern drawl from the other end of the kitchen broke her revere. "I ain't gonna hurt her."

Mary turned, shocked and immediately grew defensive. "Impolite, he doesn't even make himself known but just eavesdrops on conversations that don't involve him."

His voice was cold, devoid of emotion and deadly serious. He dripped with sweat, slick. "Actually, I think this involves me directly." He stepped into the room, staring down at Mary. His eyes intimidating; Juliet imagined this was the expression he often wore in the service. It scared her.

Mary faced him, eyes intense. She didn't back away. "How many women have you done this too, James? Hmm, romanced them then left them? Broken hearted. A regular Don Juan, I'm sure."

His jaw clenched a moment. "So maybe I ain't the perfect guy. Maybe I made mistakes and did some stupid shit. Maybe I should cut my hair, is that what really bothers you? Get the scissors then, take it off. It's just hair."

"You didn't answer my question. What is it twenty? Thirty?"

"I ain't answerin' yer question, cuz no matter what I say, ye ain't gonna believe me. Yer mind's set on me. The stupid hick from Alabama. He ain't good enough for my daughter. You know what? Yer right. I ain't good enough for her."

Mary crossed her arms. "We're finally in agreement."

He looked away from Mary and right at Juliet. "I ain't good enough for ya. I don't got any prestige, no family. I just got me. That's what I offer."

Mary interrupted. "So you have nothing to bring to the relationship then? Then what do you want? Money? You want to milk her for it? Maybe to advance your own career? She doesn't need dead weight."

"No, she don't." He stared at Mary. "Good thing I ain't dead weight then, huh." He looked at Juliet again. "I want you. Just you, Blondie." He sighed and raked his hand through his hair. "I need a walk." Then turned and left the kitchen, slamming the screen door behind him.

Juliet closed her eyes then turned on her mother. "What is wrong with you? I know you're not happy about this, but Christ mom, are you trying to ruin this for me? I haven't been this happy in years. And everything he just said to me … I mean isn't that what you go through life looking for?"

Mary resumed cutting the chicken pieces on the counter. "Of course, but you can get that from a lot of people. You don't need it from a man like that."

"Mary."

Juliet jumped at the stern voice from the other side of the kitchen. Her grandmother stood there, eyes narrowed on her daughter. Juliet didn't wait to see what happened and raced out the same door James left.

It took her a few minutes to find which way he went. Of course, her teenage cousins knew. They giggled and pointed down the road. She hoped he didn't leave. She nearly ran down the winding road towards the car and sighed in relief as he was leaning against the passenger side. His one arm crossed over his chest as he stared into the woods. A cigarette hung limply from his one hand, the smoke swirling slowly up and away..

She'd never seen him smoke before, never even tasted it on him. She approached him slowly. "James."

He glanced to her and managed a weak smile. "Hey." Then looked sheepishly at his cigarette. "Yer gonna give me the lung cancer speech, ain't ya."

"No," She smiled and slid her hand along his arm. "I'm going to give you the 'I was coming down here to kiss you but not now because I won't kiss ashtrays' speech."

He laughed and shook his head then inhaled again.

"I didn't know you smoked."

"I quit … about two months ago." He smirked at her knowing smile. "Didn't think a doctor would be impressed by a smoker." He looked at the cigarette in his hand. "Stale as hell. I kept a pack in my glove compartment. Security blanket."

She slid her hand along his arm and plucked the cigarette out. He simply watched her, complacent. She dropped the cigarette and snuffed it with the toe of her sandal. "You're going to say it takes the edge off. Use me, remember?"

He reached into the car to pull out some gum, offered her a piece. She decline and he took one himself, chewing. Finally, he asked. "Do you agree with her? With your Mom?"

She leaned against him, hugging him, pillowing her cheek on his chest and her eyes closed as he hugged her in return. "I fear this is all too surreal. That I will fall for you and you will tire of me and leave. Not that you would purposefully use me. I just fear being hurt."

He nodded slowly.

"My grandmother loves you. I'm so sorry, I didn't expect this to happen. I knew Mom wasn't happy but … I just don't understand what brought this on."

He shrugged casually. "She's worried about you. I don't fit the norm of what she expected in a man fer you. She's shocked at how easy goin' ya are with me and it intimidates her cuz she's right. She's knows my type. The way I act, I act like a playboy, a wiseass. She wants me to be all prissy or something with a rod up my ass, I guess. Maybe that's what she wants ya with. Some bug eyed lawyer that don't look like he could grow a beard if he wanted to."

She grinned. "Danny is not bug eyed. Are you jealous?"

"Yeah."

She didn't expect the admission and looked up at him, surprised. "Really?"

"Well yeah." He seemed surprised. "Why wouldn't I be jealous? The guy's good lookin' and successful and meets every requirement yer mom wants in a man for ya."

She shrugged casually and looked away. "Yeah well, you're handsome and successful and meet every requirement I want in a man."

He grinned at that and watched as she stared at his chest then down to his abdomen. "Just appraising?"

Her brow furrowed as she touched a puckered white scar at the side of his abs. "That's from a bullet."

His smile fell and he nodded. "Yeah. I was in the first surge at Mogadishu. We were securin' the city. It was fairly easy, not many casualties. But I was one of the few."

Her fingers traced the scar then moved about two inches further in towards his navel. "Two more inches and …" she trailed off.

"Yep. I'da been dead. As it happened, this shot grazed my kidney. They managed to stop the internal bleedin'. I was real lucky."

Her palm splayed on the scar and she glanced up at him. "I understand if you don't want to stay."

He shrugged. "And let her win? Then she just got somethin' else to add to my list a grievances. Not happenin'. I don't wanna fight with yer mom. And I ain't good with words."

She touched his cheek, stroked the jaw. "You said exactly what I needed to hear. James, tell me now. Honestly. Are you a love them and leave them type?"

"When I was in the service, yeah. It wasn't fair to keep them hangin' when I was gone for months, not knowin' if I was gonna live another day. Since then? Not really. I only had two girlfriends since then. Pretty things. Airheads. But pretty things."

"So I'm a new adventure?"

"Yeah," he grinned. "I'm likin' it."

She chuckled and looked back up the hill. "Did you really have four beers?"

"No, two. Your grandma and I were drinkin' and she said if your mom saw her, she'd be up shit's creek. So I pretended to drink hers when your ma was around."

She looked incredulously at him.

He laughed. "Ask her yerself. We had some bondin' time. Apparently yer granddad was a marine. That means she likes me."

Shocked, she just stared at him a long moment then reached up to cup his cheeks and drag him down for a kiss.

He resisted slightly. "Thought ya didn't kiss ashtrays."

"Shut up," she ordered and grinned at him before capturing his lips. They stood at the car, kissing like teenagers for minutes. He leaned back against the car for leverage and pulled her up against him. When the kiss deepened, he growled, eyes closed.

"Hey James, stop suckin' face. Second half is up!"

James pulled back to glance up the hill at one of his teammates. He grinned. "Hey, shut it. If you were me and Juliet wasn't related to ya, you'd be doin' just what I'm doin'."

The boy laughed. "Maybe. And if I was old."

"Hey!" Juliet frowned at him. "I'm not old. In ten years you'll be old as me, Brian, so watch it."

"Maybe, and you'll be even older." Brian laughed.

James smirked. "Gimme two more minutes with yer cousin, I'll be right there."

When Brian raced back up the hill, James glanced down at Juliet. She pulled him down for another slow kiss then backed away. "I told you I didn't want gum."

He laughed and pushed off the car. She took his hand, pulling him back up the hill.

Rachel stood on the porch watching them. "Where'd you two go?"

James just smiled. "I couldn't keep my hands off her. We were in the backseat of my car." He winked at Juliet and raced back to the game field to continue the game.

Juliet laughed at Rachel's shocked expression. "We did not. Get that look off your face."

Rachel smirked. "Too bad. You should have. That would really throw mom off the deep end."

"Oh yeah. That's the last thing I want to do. She hasn't thrown him out yet and I don't want her to. Why is she doing this, I don't understand."

"She's just being Mom. And after Edmund, I think she's worried you'll take another man like that. Here's the deal though, Edmund didn't look the part of cheatin' bastard. In a way, James does." She held up her hands defensively. "Now before you say anything, just hear me out."

Juliet sat on the porch and nodded.

"You haven't exactly had the best taste in men. Edmund was a cheater and Tom hit you."

Juliet scowled at Rachel.

"Hey, I didn't tell anybody, but I knew it. I know you loved him and all but it doesn't change the fact that the guy couldn't control his temper."

"It was only once."

Rachel shrugged. "Maybe. But you didn't leave him after that."

"He never did it again."

"That's because he was dead within two months."

Juliet sighed and rubbed her eyes.

"Mom is just worried. I mean you have to admit, when you look at James he looks a little dangerous. And he's a cop and we all know that most cops tend to have power trips. Plus he was a marine. I don't know, I think she's just afraid you'll be hurt again."

Juliet sat quietly just watching the boys play. "I know that but she really hurt James. He's got a hard exterior but there are kinks in his armor and mom happened to hit most of them in the course of five minutes. Rach, I think I'm falling for him."

"Yeah, I figured."

Juliet looked quickly to her sister, frowning. "What do you mean, you figured?"

"Oh please, what do you think I mean. You're practically Gaga for the guy. Not that I blame you. He really seems great. Gram likes him. So do Uncle Phil and John. If you remember, Gram never liked Edmund or Tom."

"Yeah, she doesn't like anyone."

"She likes James."

Juliet closed her eyes, tilting her head back and leaning back on her hands to soak up the sun. "You were the one who told me to date. This would all be easier if I just didn't."

"And can you sit there, and look at that man over there and actually say you regret going on the date?"

"No. I don't even have to look at him to answer that. I don't regret it. Doesn't mean it wouldn't be easier."

"True. But when did you ever do anything the easy way?" Rachel smiled and stood, walking to the cooler to pull out two bottled waters. She sat again beside her sister and handed her one.

Juliet opened the bottle of water to drink some of it then sighed. "Never. I suppose never."

Rachel smirked. "So … falling in love huh?"

"I never said in love. Just … falling for him. Like he's great and I really like him."

"Uh huh."

Juliet shook her head and watched the game. "Do you think he's feeling something for me?"

"Well, let's think. After everything mom said to him, he's still here."

"Yeah but he's proud."

"No man's pride is that big. He's here for you. He could have left. It's his car down there. But he didn't."

Juliet chuckled and looked to James. He stood in the backfield, obviously playing defense. The game had grown a bit rough, now tackle football. She winced as James brought one of the teenage boys down. Within about fifteen minutes, they were all filthy, grass stained and sweaty.

Rachel smirked. "Dinner will be ready soon. They'll all have to hose down."

Juliet laughed and stood, walking towards the field, standing on the side. Her water bottle now half empty, she closed it. When James glanced at her, she tossed him the bottle. He seemed shocked at the gesture and caught it then grinned. He opened it then snuck behind the youngest cousin and poured it on the kid's head. He laughed as did all the other boys.

The teen glared. "I'll get you for that, James."

"Oh stuff it, kid. It felt good. Yer so hot, your shoulders are red."

"Yeah well so are yours."

He glanced at his shoulders and winced. "Ah shit. I hope I didn't burn, that's gonna suck."

Dinner was called and the boys turn to the house. Juliet held up her hands. "The hose is over there. Hose down before you stink up the patio."

"Aw come on!" the general groan of disapproval.

James jogged to her. He was winded, his cheeks and body showing signs of burn from the sun. He grinned. "Me too, Blondie?"

"Especially you. Look at you." She winced sympathetically. "You're going to be in pain tonight."

"Hey James!"

James turned only to be blasted by the water from the hose. Juliet shrieked in surprise as it hit her too and she quickly backed away out of the splash. He stood there and outstretched his arms then turned and mocked washing then scratched his head with his fingers and flipped his hair.

The boys laughed then continued soaking each other. Drenched, James turns to Juliet, a smirk on his face. "There, all clean."

"Feel better?"

"Yeah a bit." He took her hand and pulled her close, hugging her, soaking her. "There we go."

She squirmed, laughing and trying to get out of his arms. "You need some water, you're probably dying of thirst." His pants were drenched, in turn, soaking hers. "I'll be getting in your car all wet!"

He growled in her ear, deep and teasing. "Good."

She shook her head at his suggestive tone, but smiled and swatted his arms. He hissed and she frowned. "Told you. Sun burn."

He nodded then looked to the back yard. "Face the music I guess, huh?" He glanced at her. "You got my back?"

"Absolutely."

He smiled and took her hand, leading her back to the tables for dinner.

The evening passed without incident. Her mother did not speak another word to them about anything. There was no indication that anything had happened. Many of the cousins were staying nearby in hotels to return the next day for breakfast before heading home. Juliet smiled at Rachel. "We probably won't be back tomorrow. Why don't you and Julian come over for dinner? I know you're staying tonight, right?"

"Yeah. Julian loves it here and he's so excited to sleep over Grandma's."

"So tomorrow, what time?"

"Julian is in bed at 7 usually, so let's say 5. I know it's early for you but that way you two can go out to a movie or something after we leave."

Juliet smiled and nodded. "Alright 5. We'll see you then."

Rachel grinned. "Is he spending the night?"

Juliet just rolled her eyes. "Goonight, Rachel."

James pulled his shirt back on and then the button down shirt, though he left it unbuttoned. If his sunburn hurt him, he showed no sign. Damn marine. That was until Brian jokingly slapped James' back, hard and James straightened, his shoulders pinched together. He didn't wince but his eyes dampened slightly. He glanced over his shoulder at a laughing Brian. "I'll get ya, boy. Just you wait."

On the drive home, Juliet watched him, concerned. "Your back is really bad."

"What are ya a dermatologist now?"

She smirked. "No, but I know sunburn when I see it. You should have put sunscreen on"

"I thought you had my back, Blondie." He grinned, playfully. He had yet to sit back in his seat. It looked uncomfortable, but he drove just fine.

"I do," she laughed then shook her head, sitting back to stare out the window. "Suit yourself."

They spoke casually on the drive back to her apartment. He parked in one of the visitor parking spots and turned to her, arm over her chair.

"Why don't you come upstairs and I'll put some aloe on your back?"

He grinned as she got out of the car and easily followed her up the stairs to her apartment. She did not look at him and he wondered if she couldn't. Was she nervous? Was she finally giving him a green light? Because sun burn or no sun burn, he wasn't going to lose this opportunity.

Upstairs in the apartment, she tossed her keys on the counter then locked the door behind him. "I have aloe in the bathroom."

He nodded and took off his sneakers. They were still damp from the hose down and he left them by the door. He wiped his hands on his pants; they were damp too.

"Take your shirt off."

He grinned. "Are you gonna rip it off me?"

"No."

He sat on the couch and shrugged out of the button down shirt then pulled off the under t-shirt. His skin on his face, shoulders, back and chest was red with the burn. He didn't complain or mind it, though she watched as the skin twitched a little.

"Does it itch?"

He shrugged. "A little. It's not bad."

"Liar." She smirked and sat beside him on the couch, motioning with a finger for him to turn around.

He sighed in relief at the aloe on his back, the cool helping to sooth the cooked skin. His eyes closed as she massaged the aloe along his back, over his shoulder then arms. He turned towards her, facing her. She applied the aloe to his chest and face too, carefully avoiding his eyes.

The muscles rippled under her hands and she kept her eyes on the task at hand, concentrating. "There, all done." She met his eyes.

He captured her lips and she succumbed to him. Her hands gentle on his neck, she cupped the back of his head, careful not to touch his burn. He deepened the kiss, hovering over her and she resisted his guiding hand a few moments before finally laying back on the couch, shifting a little. He settled against her, pressing her into the cushions of the couch. She hummed, sliding her leg along his then bent at the knee to keep him closer. His lips trailed down her throat and she hooked her ankle around the back of his knee. She gasped, eyes fluttering; her back arched.

Her hand tightened on the back of his head the other sliding down to his shoulders. He nipped. She shivered and the hand on his shoulder clenched. The muscles twitched; he growled at the mix of pleasure and pain. Minutes passed and she panted at the pleasure. He paused, kissing her ear slowly.

She swallowed hard, her voice a trembling whisper, husked with desire. "Don't stop."

He didn't.

**Author's Note: **There, a nice long one and she finally gave in to him. I hope you liked it, please read and review. I'm ticked off at , the traffic counter isn't working so apparently no one has read my last chapter even though I have reviews for it. Go figure. I'll post this one, hopefully it'll start counting again. That counter was the best thing they implemented for author's to see if people are reading their story! I'll post the next chapter when the ticker starts working again. =P You know unless I get reviews to know you want more. Yes, that's blackmail. =D


	10. Chapter 10

**Title**: Reload

**Author: **Crimson Coin

**Rating**: T. This is a tough one. T for teen possibly bordering on R for violence.

**Copyright:** This fan fiction is by no means intended to infringe on any copyright. I do not own the characters nor the series lost. My ideas are my own.

**Genre:** Drama/Romance

**Pairing:** The romantic pairing is Juliet/Sawyer – as per canon.

**Summary**: After a life of crime, Sawyer must prove himself worthy of an afterlife with Juliet. A continuation from the series finale.

* * *

A month passed and his major case ran cold. No more clues, no more murders, nothing. These women died and he couldn't avenge them, he couldn't bring to justice the man who caused their deaths. This killer ran circles around the police and there was nothing he could do about it. He solved two more cases in the month, one murder and one mugging.

His shift ended about half an hour ago but James sat at his desk, reading the files of the victims. Miles walked from the captain's office and frowned. "Jim? What are you still doing here?"

"Huh? Oh I was just …"

"You're gonna be late. Aren't you going with Juliet to that gala dinner tonight or something at the hospital."

"Shit" James stood and quickly closed the files.

Miles grinned. "I got this, don't worry. I was going to peer over them too. Get out of here." He took the files and sat at his desk.

James raced home. He had an hour to get ready and pick up Juliet. It didn't take him long to get ready. He cut his hair the day before. He couldn't bring himself to cut it short, but he trimmed it enough so it was off his shoulders, now just hanging below his ears. He showered quickly and even dried his hair – though he'd never admit he owned a hair dryer. He trimmed his beard close to his face and ensured his beard and sideburns were well groomed and sharply edged.

He walked into the bedroom and stared at the rented tuxedo that hung from his closet door. He never wore a tuxedo before. In the military, he wore his dress blues for funerals and events with the military. He never had to wear something formal as a civilian.

Juliet was supposed to go with him to the store to find a tux but she was called last minute for an emergency cesarean. He went to the store alone and browsed the tuxedos. They looked the same, for the most part, at least to his eyes. He wanted to refuse the cummerbund but didn't want to disappoint or disgrace Juliet. He let the man in the store dress him and he paid close attention so he could do it himself.

It took him a few minutes to get it just right and he evaluated himself in the mirror. Another five minutes passed as he fiddled with the tie, trying to get it perfect. Satisfied, he stepped back to look at himself in the mirror. He laughed. This wasn't him at all.

But no turning back. This event was a big deal for the hospital, some hippy thing. She told him they redesigned the hospital roof to include solar panels sloping down one side to make the thing energy efficient. Whatever the hell that meant. Juliet didn't seem thrilled to go, however considering her prestige, she was expected. And she asked him to accompany her. What was he going to say, no?

And so here he stood, looking foolish as hell in a tuxedo. Though he had to admit, it fit well, perfectly tailored. The man at the shop was good.

He slipped his wallet into the inside pocket of his coat then tied the shoes. He drove to Juliet's house and walked casually up the stairs. He knocked.

"James?"

"Yeah."

The door opened and he stepped inside and closed the door. He looked around curiously. "Where'd ya go?"

"I'm in the bathroom putting my face on."

"Last I checked, Babe, ya had a face."

"Make up. I probably should put it on you know."

"Yeah well I may need you to help me fix this tie."

"One more minute," she called and to her word, came out in a minute. She smiled at him. "Don't you look handsome."

His eyes widened as he eyed her up and down. "Woah"

She frowned. "What? Is it alright?"

She wore a midnight blue evening gown, cut modestly though it hugged her chest and waist in all the right places, flattering her hips and extending down to brush her feet.

He grinned. "You sure we can't stay here and I peel that thing off you?"

"Later." She approached him and when he leaned down to kiss her, she pressed her fingers to his lips. "Don't. You'll smudge my makeup. And then you'll be wearing it."

"Is that supposed to stop me? I'd wear it to prove I ravaged those lips."

She laughed and fixed his tie then straightened his jacket. "You cut your hair."

"Yeah I wanted to look nice for your thing. Ya know in case there were photos or somethin'."

She smiled at him and walked towards the couch and rested a hand on the back for balance as she pulled on an elaborate pair of sandals.

He watched her skeptically. "Will ya actually be able to walk in those? Don't get me wrong, never thought I'd find something to make feet more sexy, but they can't be comfortable."

"You sometimes have to sacrifice comfort for beauty. I'll only be in them for a few hours, it won't be that bad. Plus, you can rub them tonight when we get home."

"Yer real good at bossin' people around."

She smiled flirtatiously. "Just you." She walked back to the bathroom to recheck her makeup then to the kitchen island to check the small evening bag before looking at herself nervously in the full length mirror.

"Ya look great."

"I just get nervous at these events. And there will be a lot of people there, heads of other hospitals, politicians, researchers. It can be intimidating."

He took her hand and squeezed. "Hey, I got yer back."

She sighed and watched him. "My ex will probably be there."

"Ah …" he nodded slowly. "Want me to beat him up?"

"No. No, please don't. He … he probably won't say anything there. His career and all but just don't antagonize him."

He smirked. "Define antagonize."

"Just don't say anything to him, don't bite his bait."

"Not a prob."

Once at the party, James found himself slowly pushed aside as various researchers and doctors swarmed Juliet. He stayed back but watched her. He promised he would have her back, and he did. He had yet to spot her ex-husband, but was certain he was present. Juliet seemed anxious but spoke politely to everyone that approached her. James leaned casually against the bar, swirling his second scotch of the evening.

He had received his fair share of glances throughout the evening, a few women spoke to him, openly flirted. He was polite and friendly, trying not to give them the wrong idea, but he also didn't want to be rude and blow something for Juliet. For all he knew, one of these women could have been a boss.

He spotted one man who seemed to stare at Juliet occasionally, in passing. James spotted it easily but it was not obvious. The man was older than James and Juliet avoided the man, staying to the opposite end of the room.

James finished his drink then meandered through the crowd. He stepped behind Juliet and slid a possessive hand along her back. It surprised her slightly and she turned her head to look behind her and smiled when she saw him before continuing her conversation with a colleague.

He had no idea what they were talking about. After about a minute, he knew he was out of his league considering he understood the words "the" and "Laser" out of the ten minute discussion. Some type of experimental operation to remove something from an ovary. He knew what that was. His expression was hard as he glanced around to find the man who stared.

Juliet turned to him and touched his arm. "Your expression scared away my fans." She smiled. "Are you alright?"

James faced her, his expression intense. "Huh? Oh yeah, I'm fine. Sorry was just looking for someone."

"Who?" She glanced around. "With that look on your face, likely who you were looking for just ran away."

"So how many of these parties do ya go to in a year?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. It depends. For the hospital, not too often. Once a year at most. Sometimes if I have to give a seminar or lecture, there may be something there. Usually it's more cocktail party, less black tie."

"Are ya having fun?"

"Yeah. But I can't wait to get off my feet. We still have another couple of hours of this."

He rolled his eyes. "Lotta back pattin' if ya ask me."

"Perhaps. Don't you have anything like that with the police?"

He smirked and nodded. "Yeah. I don't want any part of it. But the captain and department heads are always strokin' each other over cases and convictions and this and that and it's just alotta pomp for a whole lotta nothin'. And they don't even do the hard stuff, ya know?"

"Mmm," she nodded slowly. "Jealous you don't get the recognition you deserve?"

He flashed her a dirty look.

She simply smiled. "Believe me, I understand that. I put years into the research and development of a drug only to have my facility and husband practically steal it from me. My name is on the papers, but theirs is on the drug, on the marketing. My peers know I did it. The public and history will remember my husband and the company. When they simply gave me the money to do it. You're in the same boat, I assume. The city and your superiors give you the money to do your job. You do it. You're the success then they steal the limelight."

He looked past her.

"It's not fair. I know. I think that's why I can like these events. Because here, among my peers, I get the recognition I want."

James nodded slowly. "That's why I like goin' to the bar with Straume, Fox and Trimm. We get each other, ya know? We know what it takes. Captain told us today he's gonna call in the FBI. I hate that! It's like he thinks we can't do it."

She stroked his arm comfortingly and walked with him to a quieter corner of the room. "He called them in to help. He wants this criminal found."

"Yeah, but this could mean the FBI takes over and then I can't do my job. I gotta catch this guy, Baby, it's been eatin' at me."

"You'll catch him." She said with conviction, intensity. "You can do it. I know you can."

He relaxed a little at her words and managed a smile. "Ya believe in me? Ya really think I can?"

"Absolutely." She slipped her hand into his arm. "I have no doubt. Come, I want to introduce you to some people. I like showing you off."

"Mmm," he smirked, playfully. "Yer piece a meat boyfriend."

"My trophy boyfriend?"

He laughed. "I can't even call you that. You're not an airhead and there isn't a bit of plastic on you." He glanced around the room again. "Is your ex here?"

She frowned. "I saw him earlier. Not recently. I don't want to talk about him."

"Ok well you guide me and we'll avoid him. Or I'll scare him so he shits his pants"

She laughed and shook her head. "Please don't. That would be making a scene. Plus he's still very powerful and I don't want any trouble."

He was good the rest of the evening, spoke little but stayed close. She didn't call him on the 'intimidating look' and he appreciated that. Though he knew some of the admiration towards Juliet was professional, he still didn't like all the men smiling and tripping over themselves to talk with her. She blew off the attention as professional curiosity.

Bullshit.

No man brought a woman a glass of wine or smiled or stroked an ego because of professional curiosity. He smirked. Let them. He would be the one in her bed that evening, not any of these yuppies.

Another man approached Juliet, speaking with her about another random something that James didn't understand. The man was young, maybe even a teenager. Baby faced, perfectly groomed and sucking up to Juliet. James looked curiously at the drink in the man's hand. It was bright green. Absinth? That stuff was illegal, at least commercially. It was in a martini glass. What the hell could it be?

"Are you interested in my drink?" The man asked with a laugh. "You should try one they're wonderful."

James quirked a brow. "Wonderful, eh? I'm just curious what it is."

"An Appletini."

James laughed. "A what?"

The man frowned. "An Appletini. Have you never heard of it?"

"Oh I've heard of it," James smirked.

The man bristled. "Are you insinuating something, sir?"

Juliet elbowed James side quite nonchalantly but James just grinned. "Ya mean, like it's a chick drink? Tell ya what, Doogie, why don't ya head to the bar and get me a scotch and my girl here a wine. Then refill yer appletini."

The man turned red and walked away. Juliet glanced up at him. Though she frowned, he could see the amusement in her eyes. "Was that really necessary?"

"Oh come on, Babe. Appletini? Is that guy serious? First of all he called it an Appletini."

She laughed and squeezed his arm. "Just don't get me fired, ok? He's just a resident, new to the hospital. Give the kid a break."

"Alright, but if I see him walkin' around with a Cosmo, the deals off."

After the event, James escorted Juliet to his car. Before even leaving the building, he was tugging the tie off. "Thank God. Don't get me wrong, Blondie, I'm all about playin' Bond, but there's only so much black tie I can take."

"Mmm, you prefer the after dinner Bond?"

He grinned. "James Ford, James Bond. The women always call him James anyway. I'm up for a bit of roleplay."

"I see. And which Bond girl would I be."

He removed his jacket and tossed it into the backseat before getting behind the wheel. "Let's see. I have a feeling if I called you Pussy Galore or Octopussy, I'd get slapped."

"You would."

"Well ya are a doctor. I can call ya Christmas Jones."

"I swear, if you call me Christmas …"

He laughed. "You won't let me open my present?"

She laughed too and shook her head. "So if I'm a Bond girl, does that mean next time there'll be someone else?"

"Naw," he chuckled. "By now Bond probably has the clap. And I'm clean and plan to stay that way. Which means … yer stuck with me."

She smiled and looked out the window. "Will you stay tonight?"

"I brought a bag and everything." He grinned at her shocked expression. "What did ya really think I wouldn't come prepared? I got work early tomorrow anyway so I figured I'd leave from yer place."

"Well you just have everything figured out, don't you."

"That's right. Don't you worry, I'll take good care a ya tonight."

She quirked a skeptical brow. "And what if I don't want to be taken care of?"

He shrugged. "I ain't picky. You can take care a me." Then grinned, wolfishly.

She laughed.

* * *

3 A.M.

James slept soundly, breathing deep and slow. His back was to Juliet's initially but she turned in her sleep to spoon against him, wrapping her arms around his waist, hugging him. He sighed, softly, comforted. A faint ringing broke his slumber and his eyes fluttered open.

Juliet moaned and turned onto her stomach, pulling a pillow over her head. James pulled himself out of bed, walking nude into the living room to get his cell phone. "Ford," his voice husked and scratched with sleep.

"Jim, its Miles. We got another one."

"Another what?" James snapped, half asleep; he was exhausted from the party as well as the after party.

"There's another body. I just got the call from the captain. He wants us at the scene now."

James nodded and rubbed his face, forcing himself to wake up. "Ok, where? It's been a month since something happened." He made a mental note of the address. "Yeah I know where that is. Ok I'll see you in ten minutes."

He clicked shut the phone then walked into the bedroom. He dressed quickly from the bag he brought then splashed water on his face in the bathroom. He raked a hand through his hair, though it was still mussed. He picked up Juliet's brush and raked the tangles from it then tossed the brush back onto the counter.

"James?"

He frowned at her voice. He probably could have been a little quieter. She sounded worried too. And damn sexy from sleep. "Go back to sleep. It's early."

"Mmm come back to bed."

He walked into the bedroom. She was on her stomach, head to the side watching him from half open eyes. She frowned then sat up, pulling the sheet with her to hold against her chest

He crouched at the bedside and reached for her hand. "Ya know, I've been waitin' months to hear those words come outta yer mouth." He kissed her palm and sighed. "I can't. Work. I'm sor …"

She pressed her fingers to his lips. "Shh." Then kissed him softly. "Go." She tucked a stray hair back behind his ears.

He smiled a bit sadly and squeezed her hand. "Lock the door behind me, the dead bolt."

She nodded and stood, keeping the sheet around her as she followed him to the door and locked it behind him.

* * *

**Author's Note: **I have the entire story practically written. Though I like to build the suspense and make sure it's all perfect. Hope you enjoyed this chapter, please read and review. Next chapter will be more Miles, some Juliet and detective work.


	11. Chapter 11

**Title**: Reload

**Author: **Crimson Coin

**Rating**: T. This is a tough one. T for teen possibly bordering on R for violence.

**Copyright:** This fan fiction is by no means intended to infringe on any copyright. I do not own the characters nor the series lost. My ideas are my own.

**Genre:** Drama/Romance

**Pairing:** The romantic pairing is Juliet/Sawyer – as per canon.

**Summary**: After a life of crime, Sawyer must prove himself worthy of an afterlife with Juliet. A continuation from the series finale.

* * *

James arrived at the crime scene. The place swarmed with police and investigators. He flashed a badge and stepped under the tape towards Miles. Miles was still about fifteen feet from the body. The alley was dark, the shadows overwhelming and James had to squint to see anything.

Miles acknowledged him with a nod. "They're bringing lights in. He murdered her here. We don't want to touch the scene until we know what we're stepping on."

James nodded with a gruff grunt and they waited until the trucks arrived with the large lighting. The scene was a nightmare.

Miles frowned. "Ford, I think we're out of our league."

"It's like Jack the Ripper." James approached slowly, careful not to step on a thing as he neared the body.

The coroner looked up. "Time of death is between 9 and 11 pm. I won't know much else until we get back to the morgue."

James nodded. "Is it the same guy?"

"I can't tell yet." The coroner responded. "The crime is more brutal though the victim was still strangled and has the same puncture wounds to the stomach and one to the chest. She wasn't raped. However …" He pulled the sheet down to expose the woman. She was blonde, pale with blue eyes. Her pupils were dilated. On her torso the word "Mine" was carefully carved into the flesh. "This was done post mortem. The incision is methodical."

Miles nodded. "I'm going to go see if anyone saw anything."

James crossed his arms. "Her clothes are missing. He must have taken them. Is there a ring?"

The coroner nodded. "And this was in her throat." He handed James an evidence bag with a piece of paper in it. It was wrinkled but the writing very clear. The words 'She's mine,' were clearly scrawled in an extremely neat handwriting.

"Pray there's a print on this thing. He's got a thing for the blonde hair blue eyed ones. The last two look almost exactly alike, same build."

One of the members of the crime unit plucked a small shard from a wad of gum on the pavement. "It looks like metal. Perhaps a tip. It might be from the murder weapon!"

James slowly walked towards the investigator and held out a hand for the evidence. "Hey, Grissom. Who's the detective, eh?" The investigator ducked his head and muttered something under his breath. James chose to ignore it and instead looked closely at the tip. "Hey, Doc. This looks too fine to be a knife."

The coroner stood and looked at the metal shard. "You'd know better than I. I'm sure they can figure something out at the lab."

James left the scene to find Miles who had entered a shady bar just around the corner. The bartender was being evasive, uncooperative.

"Look, I'd love ta help you. I really would, but girls come in and out of here all the time. I don't know a specific blonde that stands out."

James leaned against the bar, producing a badge. "No one stands out? Maybe we can bring ya to the back alley there and show ya the mutilated corpse of a woman and ya can tell us then if anything stands out in yer mind."

The bartender frowned. "Look, I don't know, this place is crawling with girls. One blonde is another blonde, ya know?"

Miles glanced around the bar. "Pretty seedy joint, you have going here. Ok, let's try this. Were there any men in here last night that seemed out of place?"

James glared, eyes narrowed and his hand flexed. The bartender shifted nervously. "Well now that ya mention it, some guy came in around 9:30. He was wearing a tux. Weird though cuz, I mean nobody around here was."

Miles wrote notes. "A tux? What did he look like, did he have anything to drink?"

"Uh … I dunno he was average looking. Short. Like maybe here …" and held his hand up to about his own shoulders. "Come to think of it, he was drinking whiskey and he bought a wine for a blonde woman. She was real pretty and I thought how damn unfair it was that money gets all the good lookin' ones." He laughed. "Ya know what I mean? Come on ya gotta, you guys work on city salary."

James didn't comment or flinch. "What did the girl look like?"

The bartender sighed exasperated. "Ah, I told you I can't remember details of the broad. She had nice legs though. I remember cuz when she crossed them I could almost see up her … well you know where. They left together around 10 and I can't help thinkin' damn some guys have all the luck, ya know? I'm here workin' my ass off and some penguin comes in here and BAM takes a hot piece a ass outta my bar. He should stick to his side of town and stay the hell outta here, if you know what I mean."

Miles nodded. "Do you have any regulars we can talk to? Anyone here who may have seen them?"

The bartender pointed to a back corner of the bar. "That there is Willard. Old timer, been coming here for years. He's here every night and was here then. Maybe he did."

Miles thanked the man before walking to Willard. The man sat with his back to the wall. His table was empty except for the tumbler of beer. Miles sat in one of the two vacant seats across from Willard. "Willard? I'm detective Straume, this is my partner Detective Ford. Mind if we ask you a few questions?"

Willard peered up from under his dirty and faded swamp hat. The man was dirty, hair long and straggly, beard almost down to his chest. "Free country. For now."

Miles nodded and opened his notepad. "We're investigating the murder of a woman in an alley not far from here. We were wondering if you saw anything suspicious."

"Well, I see alotta things. Be more specific."

James leaned forward, hands on the table. "The woman was about five foot nine inches, slender build, blonde with blue eyes."

"Lotta blondes come in here officer."

James snarled. "I can go show ya her body if that would jog yer memory."

The man shook his head. "I saw enough death in Nam, boy. Don't need any more."

"Did you see a man come in around 9 pm in a tuxedo?" Miles interrupted.

"Yeah. Shrimpy little bastard, real cocky. Scannin' the bar like he owned the joint."

"What did he look like?"

"Hair was real short, cut real close to his head and it was receding at the front. Maybe in his forties? Didn't really look at him other than that. Woman he left with was a blonde wearin' next to nothing. Can't remember much more."

James took some notes. "What time did they leave?"

Willard shrugged. "I dunno, I wasn't payin' attention. I just know they left together. It was before the seventh inning stretch. The ball game was on the TV there."

James stood and walked to the bartender again. "Where were they sittin'? The tux and the blonde woman."

The bartender pointed to the edge of the bar nearest the door.

James nodded. "Ok do me a favor and don't let anyone sit there. We're gonna want to dust for prints in that area. To see if they match our victim. Do we have your permission to do that?"

The man nodded. "Don't see why not. I got nothin' to hide and if it helps ya find the guy, that's fine with me."

* * *

Back at the precinct, daylight waned and James remained. He focused intensely on the folder in front of him. He sat in the meeting room where the corkboard was set up, now with another victim added. There were dozens of prints at the bar and he had thought their chances slim. But a partial print matched the victim. Which meant that Mr. Tux, was a suspect.

The lab had yet to get back to them about what the shard could be. He waited patiently for the results. Miles walked into the room. "Jim, I don't know how you can keep your eyes open. I'm almost ready to pass out."

"Magic."

Miles sighed and sat down. "No, really. We should go home and sleep and pick up here tomorrow. Hopefully by then the lab will have an answer on that trace. They pulled a partial off the ring. It doesn't match anything in the system. Looks like he wasn't as careful."

"No, this was a crime of passion. Something really set him off and he just lost his control. He was so careful and then …" he trailed off and frowned, looking at the photo of the tip of the metal. "Miles, what if … look at the control in the carving of the words. A steady hand. And all the stab wounds to the abdomen are in the exact same place. And the doc said that the wounds would cause a very slow bleed out. Who would ya have to be to know exactly where to stab someone like that? And then have a steady enough hand to write?"

"Well, a trained assassin would know. A hit man. Somebody who's a torturer by trade …"

"Smaller scale there, think inside the box fer a change."

Miles perked up slightly. "A doctor."

James smiled and nodded. "And if he was in a tux, he was probably at the gala I was at …" he paled. "Good lord, I could have been in the room with him and I didn't even know!"

"Hey, Jim, don't go thinkin' like that. Clear head remember? Clear head. Think forward not back."

"Right," James nodded. "Ok so if he was there, he saw something to set him off and he left. We need to get a list of the guests that were at that party last night."

"We'll need a warrant," Miles said quickly. "I can guarantee you a hospital is not going to just give up a list of all its prestigious doctors for questioning in the biggest case of the year just for shits and giggles. They'll protect their reputation because if this guy works for Miami General, the hospital can take a big hit."

"But it wasn't just doctors there. Politicians too and … Alright, so to get a warrant, we'll need proof that our suspect coulda been a doctor or at least at the gala. So we have the two eyewitnesses saying they saw a guy in a tux. We need to ask around town, find out if there were any other fancy dinner parties goin' on. If we can identify that shard as bein' the tip of a scalpel, it might work. That and trace came back on the last Jane Doe and on … Molly on that powder on her throat. It was cornstarch, which is used in latex gloves."

"Yeah but, I had a scalpel in college in my science lab classes. You can buy latex gloves with powder at any store. I don't think that will prove anything. And anybody could have just worn a tux if you think about it."

James sighed. "But you and I both know this guy is smart. He wouldn't a just put on a tux and gone to a seedy bar to stand out like that. And he's made a mistake wearing powdered gloves especially since you can get unpowdered ones. He made this decision quick. Fuck, we won't be able to get a warrant on this circumstantial shit."

"Well," Miles trailed off then smirked. "We can just ask. If they say no, then we need to think about the warrant. Tomorrow morning we'll head over and see if we can talk to someone. Get some sleep."

"I can't sleep. How can you sleep? All we know this asshole's got another girl somewhere."

"Yeah and we're not going to be much use to her if we pass out in a squad car." Miles sighed. "Just go to Juliet, Jim. She calms ya down."

James nodded. "Yeah, yeah she does. I'm coming back at 8 am. We'll meet up here with clear heads and see what the lab gets back to us and then we'll go to the hospital. Maybe we can scare the list out of them."

"Extortion?"

James grinned. "Not in so many words."

Miles laughed. "How will you plan on doing that?"

"By threatening going to the media with what we found. After all we will have to do a press conference and update the public with our newest findings. Call in a favor and see how many formal events there were in Miami last night. We need everything. Proms, Balls, Weddings, anything."

Miles nodded. "I'll fill Trimm in before we go. We should tell the agents whats his face and whose her whatever tomorrow what we came up with. Maybe they can add additional leverage talking to the hospital."

"Yeah. They may have more pull than we do for that. Hopefully they'll go along."

"I'm sure they will. We're lucky they haven't taken this out of our hands, just here as council."

He nodded. "Night, Miles."

"Later, Jim."

Outside the precinct, James called Juliet. The call went right to voicemail. "Hey, Babe, it's me. I know it's late, gimme a call or come over. Bye."

He drove home, slightly distracted. He had to warn her, Juliet. If the psycho was a doctor, she was right in his midst. It would make sense too since all the abductions occurred so close to the hospital. Opportunity. No he couldn't warn her. If he did she may act different and that could incite him to do something to her. He didn't want her in danger.

Maybe he could convince her not to go to work for a little while.

Like hell. He could picture that fight. It could even break them up. He didn't want that. He couldn't explain the pull he felt towards Juliet. It was something intense even consuming. He'd never felt it before. Maybe it was because he finally let himself open up to a woman. Maybe it was because she was just so damn inquisitive or that she could see right through all his walls erected to protect him.

Maybe it was because he wanted her to break 'em down. She was so brave, straight forward even matter-of-fact. She had her secrets, he knew. She never spoke again about Edmund or Tom. She refused to divulge any more about them or what they've done to her to make her skeptical, defensive.

He wondered if she trusted him. He thought he knew her but on closer inspection, he knew just a little. He knew events of her past and he knew she didn't want to be hurt. Join the club. But he found it so easy to trust her. He wondered if she felt the same ease.

He parked at his apartment and dragged himself out of the car. Miles was right, he was exhausted. He didn't know how he made it up to his apartment. He opened the door and flicked on the light. He kicked off his shoes and shrugged out of his jacket.

He changed out of his slacks and shirt and just stayed in his boxers. He stretched out on the couch and turned on the television. He was hungry but couldn't be bothered cooking anything. He grabbed the container of cocktail peanuts from his coffee table and munched on a few before falling asleep.

* * *

His phone rang and he moaned, rubbing his eyes to wake up. He grabbed the phone from the table and brought it to his ear. "Mmm, Ford."

"Oh, James I'm sorry I woke you." Juliet said softly.

"Naw naw, it's alright." His voice rasped from sleep, rough and scratchy. He rubbed his face. "What time is it? Y'alright?"

"Yeah, it's just before 11. One of my patients went into labor."

"Well, what happened?"

"It's a boy," a smile in her voice, gentle with relief.

"He's ok? She's ok?

"Everyone's ok."

His eyes closed and he grinned. "I knew you could do it." He could hear her tone well, slightly choked, emotional.

"The last time I delivered by cesarean it hadn't worked."

"I know, Babe, but that was different. And remember, these women are in yer care cuz you're the best and the pregnancies are dangerous right?"

"Yeah."

"Which means out of all the docs to give these women babies, yer the only one that can."

"Well, I wouldn't go that far."

"I would. It's why all them doctors trip all over themselves to talk to ya. You headin' home?"

"Yeah,"

"Come here instead."

"I'm really tired."

"Me too. Look never mind. It's alright."

She paused a moment. "No, I'll be over. Let me just get some clothes from home."

As promised, she arrived at his house within the hour. He had showered and still had the towel around his waist when he heard the buzzer. "Yeah."

"It's me."

He buzzed her in and walked to the bedroom, leaving his front door ajar.

"Hey," Juliet called from the front door. "Where are you?"

"I just got outta shower." He answered and within a moment, he walked from the bedroom in a pair of shorts. His hair slicked back and wet from the shower. He shaved.

She walked up to him and sighed, slipping her arms around his neck to hug him. "You look exhausted."

He clung to her, more tightly than usual and closed his eyes, ducking his head into her throat. "Sometimes … I just wonder what the fuck is wrong with people." His voice almost defeated.

"I saw on the news. There was another girl. That's where you were, wasn't it."

He nodded.

"You'll catch him."

"Will I? How many more girls gotta die til I can get him? Bastards runnin' circles around me and I …" he sighed.

"Don't think about it. Don't dwell, it will destroy you. It nearly destroyed me when my sister was dying and I couldn't save her. And all the other … things I did to give her a baby and I obsessed. Don't obsess." She backed slowly into the bedroom, pulling him with her. "Remember what I told you when we got pizza and watched Hellraiser?"

He smirked. "Ya said a lot that night."

"I mean … about the edge."

His expression grew serious, even a little intense. He nodded slowly.

She released him to slowly slide backwards on the bed, holding his eyes.

He didn't need to ask. He saw the need clear in her eyes, almost a challenge. Yes, he needed her too. He needed to forget. Even if it was just a little while. He crawled onto the bed, crushing his lips to hers.

* * *

**Author's Note**: Posting pretty quickly, but I've been on a roll with this story. I suppose it helps when you have the whole thing planned in your head. Just getting it down is the hard part. Hope you like it. Thanks to everyone who's been reading and special thanks to the reviewers. I like to see those review numbers tick up. Let me know what you think.


	12. Chapter 12

**Title**: Reload

**Author: **Crimson Coin

**Rating**: T. This is a tough one. T for teen possibly bordering on R for violence.

**Copyright:** This fan fiction is by no means intended to infringe on any copyright. I do not own the characters nor the series lost. My ideas are my own.

**Genre:** Drama/Romance

**Pairing:** The romantic pairing is Juliet/Sawyer – as per canon.

**Summary**: After a life of crime, Sawyer must prove himself worthy of an afterlife with Juliet. A continuation from the series finale.

* * *

4 AM

James lay awake, staring at the ceiling. Juliet pressed to his side, her arm draped over his waist as she curled into him. One arm propped his head up while the other wrapped around Juliet, his fingers absently tracing patterns on her back. She slept soundly.

He wanted to tell her. To warn her. He hardly slept, perhaps only a couple hours. He waited until it was time to go back to work. He was tempted to leave to go in early. No he couldn't do that.

He glanced down at Juliet, her head pillowed on his arm, hair fanned out. Her lips parted in her sleep, her breath slow and relaxed. She appeared younger in sleep, any stress from her day gone. He hadn't realized before but her job must be stressful. Her eyes displayed most of the strain, the corners, the slight sadness. Sometimes her lips pressed together as she swallowed emotions. He wondered how many women or children she had lost over her career. She was so happy, relieved that the recent birth was successful. Perhaps with these high risk pregnancies, success was nothing short of a miracle.

She hummed in her sleep and snuggled closer to him. He couldn't help but grin at the feel of her pressed naked to his side. It felt good, right. Every inch of her fit against him. Two pieces to a puzzle. Ugh, how damn corny was that? What the hell had come over him?

He just wanted her, almost needed her. He didn't want to admit that though, admit to needing someone. He was independent, free will and all that jazz. He didn't need anyone. Well except maybe Juliet. She calmed him, relaxed him. And he loved that about her.

Not that he loved her. No, he couldn't love her. They'd only been together a few months. Love wasn't that fast, at least not the lasting kind. And if he was gonna start lovin', it better be lastin'. He wondered if she loved her ex-husband or that other guy. She gave no indication she did, in fact, she seemed dismissive of them. He tried prying some information out of Rachel the last time they met but the woman was a closed book when it came to her sister.

He managed to find the two most evasive women on the planet. Partially rested and fully satiated, he thought about the words Juliet spoke to him. Not to obsess. She seemed to understand. But what had happened to Rachel? She changed the direction of conversation so quickly, as if she didn't want to admit anything. She trusted him a little to indulge enough to show she could relate, but not enough to consider sharing information. He spilt his guts about his parents and he knew bits and pieces about her, but not nearly as much.

"You're not sleeping."

He smiled at her husky voice and rubbed her back a little more firmly. "Can't."

She hummed and snuggled closer. Her eyes remained closed and she splayed a hand on his chest, massaging the tense muscles. "Try."

Silent for a few minutes, he finally spoke. "Tell me about Rachel. When was she sick?"

Juliet frowned, her eyes opening. "Now?"

"Please."

She sighed. "She had cancer a few years ago. She survived but couldn't have children and really wanted them. I gave her the child, an experimental drug."

He smirked. "That's it? I give ya a freakin' scene outta film noir cop drama about my parents, and you give me three sentences."

She smiled sadly. "There's not much to say, well nothing that matters now I suppose."

"It matters to me. Tell me. Yer like this closed box and every so often I can get a peek inside but ya never really show me. I don't have to tell you about me cuz you seem to just look at me and know everything."

"A gift."

He chuckled at her teasing tone and the smile he knew was present. "Yeah well that ain't fair. I don't have the gift." He waited as the minutes passed. He swore she fell asleep.

"She could have died from the cancer. It tore me apart. She's the only sister I have and to lose her, I didn't even want to think about it. When the cancer went into remission it was probably the best day of my life. No more radiation, no more chemo, she was cured. Mostly. The radiation and chemo made her infertile. It took me so many months, developing a new treatment. Using radiation on rats and then trying to get them pregnant again. One day it worked. It worked on a few rats and I used the treatment on Rachel. I technically wasn't supposed to; I mean it was stealing, really. The drug wasn't mine, it was the labs. And there would have been years of paperwork and red tape to get the drug approved for human testing and Rachel was already in her early thirties. If she was to be successful carrying a child to term, she had to have the baby soon."

"Would it be dangerous if she was closer to forty?"

"Yeah. Every year over thirty five increases the risk of the pregnancy." She smirked. "You're at your most fertile in your early twenties."

"Me?"

"Well not you. I mean women. Men seem to be capable of having children until they're dead. Anyway …" she paused and sighed. She rolled away from him, distancing herself and lay on her back to look at the ceiling. "Edmund found out and threatened to expose me. I would have been disgraced, likely have my licenses stripped away, I never would have worked again. I told him he'd be in just as much trouble because it was his lab. He said he could recover, I couldn't. He was right. So he blackmailed me. He'd keep the pregnancy quiet but I had to sign the drug over to him and the research facility. That I wouldn't pursue the drug anymore and wouldn't publish my findings with Rachel. What was I going to do?"

"Baby, that's illegal, he couldn't do that."

"Technically not illegal. He owned the drug anyway- the company- but I had to promise I wouldn't do it elsewhere. And I did something illegal too. So I did what he asked. I gave up all rights to it. A month later I found out about his affairs, after I signed the contracts. A month after that I served him for divorce. I still managed to publish the findings in the rats so even though I couldn't pursue it to people, I still have that discovery. The research facility hasn't been able to do anything more than I did, much less what I did with Rachel. Now we're stuck in limbo, they have the information for the research, I have nothing. And I'm not in a lab anymore but a regular hospital. The lab work I do here isn't the same, not the same caliber."

"Do you miss the research end?"

"Honestly, yeah. I felt that was where I was at my best, you know? This is fulfilling too, don't get me wrong."

He nodded slowly. "Well, why don't you try and get involved at the university medical center. They got the lab there and considering who you are, they may take you on."

"That's where Edmund was. It's where I was."

"Yeah but there's gotta be more than one end of it. Or maybe another university or research facility. Even if it's just to see if they need a researcher. Pharmaceuticals or somethin'. Even part time."

"I never thought of that."

He turned on his side to face her. "That's why ya got me. To think a these things."

She smirked. "Yes, after all I am only with you to forward my career."

He chuckled and pulled her back against him.

She sighed and snuggled into him, wrapping her arms around him as he pillowed his head on her chest. "Sometimes I wonder if I was playing God, doing what I did for Rachel."

"I wouldn't know. God and me ain't exactly on the same page."

She nodded slowly. "Do you believe in a god?"

Pensive, he hesitates a moment before answering. "I don't know. I've seen war. I've seen things … even now that would make most people piss their pants. There's alotta bad out there."

"Yeah. But if you see the absolute worst, don't you think there is the absolute best?"

"Maybe. That don't mean there's a god."

"I suppose." She rubbed his back. "I'd be afraid to live in a world without a god. Because then you die, and then what? Nothing? Just bones? Dust? I'd like to believe in an afterlife."

He nodded, nuzzling her through the sheet that separated them. "So if something compels people to do evil, somethin's gotta compel 'em to do good too."

"Exactly."

"When I was shot and layin' in the street of that god forsaken city, I prayed. Never prayed before in my life, but I prayed then. I was scared, thinkin' yer gonna die. I couldn't help it. I prayed."

"And you lived. Maybe he answered your prayer."

"Maybe. It hurt like hell though, bein' shot. It burned. I wanted to die."

"I'm glad you didn't."

He smiled at that. "Me too, I guess." Then tickled her.

She laughed and swatted his hand.

He chuckled and settled down again, closing his eyes.

"Sleep a little, James. I'll wake you at 6:30."

"Mmm, don't wanna."

"Yes you do," she murmured to him and smiled.

He slept.

* * *

James and Miles followed a receptionist into the administrative offices at the hospital. His expression was annoyed. He was good at the bad cop routine. He hoped Juliet wasn't around, and also that this guy wouldn't recognize him from the party. He didn't want Juliet feeling any fallout from this investigation.

A tall man in his fifties stood to greet them from his desk in a large corner office. He smiled, inviting, eyes determined, even a bit cautious. His hair was impeccably groomed as was his silk suit. James wasn't one for suits, even on the job. He usually wore nice slacks and a buttoned down shirt. Suit jacket? In this heat? This guy was insane.

Miles offered his badge. "Thank you for seeing us, Mr. Welch. I know how busy you must be."

Mr. Welch motioned for them to sit. "Please." Then sat himself. "Anything I can do for the men in blue, I'm quite happy. Though I must say you have me a little anxious."

Miles smiled reassuringly. "We don't intend that. Just here for a little chat."

"Your partner doesn't say much, does he?"

Miles chuckled. "Trust me, it's better for all of us if he doesn't."

"Ah," Mr. Welch nodded. "So he's the bad cop."

"You could say that," James responded with a sarcastic quirk of the brow.

Miles cleared his throat. "We're here on a murder investigation. We have reason to believe that a person of interest was here two nights ago at the gala. We were hoping you could give us a guest list."

"A guest list of the celebration ball commemorating the new hospital's step into the twenty first century?"

James clucked his tongue. "Yep. That'd be the one."

"We had very prestigious people invited for this event."

Miles nodded. "We understand how this can be sensitive."

Mr. Welch bristled a little, defensive. "I suppose you don't have a warrant which is why you're here just asking."

"That's right," Miles answered before James could. "We thought that since the information wasn't exactly confidential, since the press was there, that it wouldn't be something requiring a warrant."

James leaned forward. "But we could get one if ya need it. And I could guarantee, that if the press knew ya weren't willing to help us and another girl died … they wouldn't be too forgivin'."

"Is that a threat?"

James smirked. "Just facts."

"Why do you think a person of interest is on my guest list?"

"We have eye witness testimony," Miles answered. "That saw a man in a tux went into a bar about 5 blocks from the location of your gala. Your party was the closest event. We're just trying to narrow down our search results."

"And we really need to find this guy," James continued. "Lives depend on it."

Mr. Welch sighed and rubbed his eyes a moment before sitting back in his chair, watching the officers. "Fine. But just a list of names, no more. Anything else, you need a warrant. I will not have myself or this hospital or administration be the mockery of some defense attorney's ramblings."

Miles nodded. "That is understood, sir. Remember, the press was invited to the event and they could have theoretically identified everyone present at the event. We are not asking for any personal files, simply names and position either at the hospital or in government."

Mr. Welch stands. "Fine, leave your fax number with my assistant. I will have her fax you the list sometime today." He sat, dismissive and James stared at him a few moments before walking from the office, Miles just behind.

Miles smirked as stepped in front of James. "What a douche. Not even a goodbye for the 'men in blue'."

James smirked and followed Miles from the hospital. "Come on, let's get a cup a coffee."

"Good idea. I think we deserve our coffee break."

James chuckled and led the way across the busy street to the coffee shop across the way. "I met Juliet in here." He laughed. "Walked right into her, spilt her coffee all over her lab coat."

Miles shook his head. "And then she dates you. I don't get it, you just have this luck with ladies. No matter what I do, it doesn't win me any perks."

They walked inside and to the counter. James glanced up at the board over the counter. "Coffee, black, one sugar. And uh … one of those things." He pointed to a sugar coated cake donut behind the counter.

As Miles ordered, James glanced around the store and his brow furrowed. Juliet sat at a nearby table with a man. They were talking and she seemed extremely enthused. She never looked like that when he spoke to her.

Miles nudged his shoulder. "Heh, some guys have all the luck, huh?"

"Really? Well that's Juliet."

"You mean the blonde there with the squirrely guy hittin' on her."

His jaw clenched, and he nodded. "Yep." He put his money on the counter then grabbed his coffee and donut and walked over to the table. "Hey, Babe."

She smiled at him. "Hi, James, this is Dr. Alex Kaufman. Alex this is Detective James Ford."

Alex extended a hand in greeting and smiled. "Nice to meet you."

James grunted, ignored the hand and nodded his head then sat back. "Don't mind us. Just on break."

Miles sat down and looked to Juliet. "Don't think we've met. Jim talks about you all the time. Ow, Ford, what you kicking me under the table for?"

Juliet chuckled. "You must be Miles." And reached out to shake his hand.

Alex looked at James. "Did you know that eating a donut like that, deep fried even once a week increases your risk of a heart attack and clogged arteries?"

"I don't remember makin' an appointment, doc."

Alex held up a hand. "I meant no offense. I just know a lot of people don't know what's healthy and what's not. Even the slightest of things."

"So … when I'm seventy I'll drop dead. But I get to enjoy the good tastin' things in life. I dunno, I think I'd rather have a donut a week than eat like a rabbit every day and live to be a hundred."

Alex shook his head. "It's not a healthy lifestyle."

James shrugged and opened his mouth to retort but Juliet interrupted him.

"Alex is a new oncologist at the hospital." she explained.

Alex nodded. "Yes, I'm intrigued by Juliet's research with impregnating women who have gone through chemotherapy and radiation. It's a fascinating accomplishment."

Juliet looked at James. "Alex used to be at Mt. Sinai in Manhattan. This is his first week here in Miami."

Alex smiled. "I remembered reading about Juliet's research and had to speak with her when I knew she was here. She's going to show me around Miami tonight. You know to get my bearings."

"Ah," James nodded then leaned forward to whisper in Juliet's ear. "Can I talk to you a minute?"

She looked at him a bit confused. "Of course. Is everything alright?"

He led her to a far end of the coffee bar and turned so his back was to Alex, his size blocking them from view. He grabbed her arm, not rough, firm. "What do ya think yer doin'?"

Her expression confused, she shook her head. "What are you talking about?"

"I didn't know we had an open relationship. You're goin' on a date with that guy?"

She laughed. "It's not a date. He's a colleague, I'm just going to show him around town and we'll have an early supper or something. It's no big deal."

"It is a big deal. This is a date to that guy. He's done nothin' but shoot flirtin' looks at ya and stared at your chest for the last five minutes I was sittin' there. Does he know you're seeing someone?"

"Well no, that didn't come up in the course of polite business conversation, James. Do you tell everyone woman you question that you're with someone?"

"This is different," he snapped in hushed tones. "I'm not takin' people for drives or out to dinner. I'm tellin' you that guy is hittin' on you right in damn front of me. You're not goin' with him."

She quirked a skeptical brow. "Oh, so you control me now? Is that how this works? Look here, officer, don't go throwing your weight in this direction. You can't tell me that I can't have dinner with a colleague. And secondly, just because a man is interested in what I have to say doesn't mean he's trying to get into my pants."

"Yes, it does!"

"Oh really? And is that why you were interested in everything I said on the first few dates?"

He knew he was stuck. To say No wasn't the complete truth and to say Yes was to lose her. He shook his head. "That ain't the only reason. I was interested in what ya had to say."

"Mmm, and I'm sure Alex is too."

"And more," he growled. "His eyes were on your chest more often in the last few minutes than mine were in our first few dates. He ain't subtle and I can plain as day see what he's lookin' for in ya. And it ain't yer conversation."

She slapped him.

James stood stunned a moment and his eyes narrowed, fist clenched.

"Not all men are like you, James," She brushed past him, knowing her words stung and it was probably below the belt. She was just so angry! He had no right to control her. She was in a relationship like that before and she had no intention of going back into another one. "Come on, Alex. There's a lot to see. I'll show you around the area here." She picked up her coffee and Alex followed without a second glance in James direction.

Miles remained where he was, leaning back casually in the chair. He watched James and took a slow sip of his coffee. "That went well."

James glared at him and resisted the urge to kick the chair out from under his partner. He walked to the door, pushing through roughly, the bell clanging loudly.

Miles stood to follow. "So does that mean you guys broke up?"

"I dunno what the hell it means."

"What are you going to do?"

James raced across the street then waited at the car for Miles to open it. "Work Late."

Both men got into the car and Miles started the ignition. "If you want her to look at you like that, then maybe you should talk to her about something that gets her excited."

"I thought we did. She loves to read. We talk about books all the time. And why am I taking advice from you? When was the last girlfriend you had?"

"Well screw you too, man. At least my last girlfriend didn't go out on dates with the people she worked with. I kept her interested."

James just growled and looked out the window.

* * *

10 pm

James sat at his desk in the precinct. Most of the lights were off except for the one on his desk and one in the hall. Most detectives were either home for the night or out on a case. He looked at his computer and filtered through the six windows he had up and kept it on the online dictionary. He glanced back down at the paper on his desk.

He printed out an article from an online medical database. Juliet wrote it about ten years ago. Juliet and about four other people. Her name wasn't the first, it was the third. But it was the only article he found online in that database. The city library only had access to a few general medical databases. The damn article was almost twenty pages. He'd been reading for almost two hours and was only on page five.

The pages he read were highlighted and the margins filled with notes he wrote in pencil, explaining the underlined words or the paragraphs.

He wasn't stupid. At least he didn't think he was. But as he tried to understand the most recent paragraph, he wondered if maybe he was a bit stupid. And Juliet was totally out of his league. The last four words he looked up, he couldn't find a comprehensive definition. Too bad there were no cliff notes for these damn things.

He leaned forward over the desk and rested his head in his hands, elbows supporting as he tried to read the paragraph again. He heard the faint clicking of high heels and they grew louder as the person came closer to him. "Cammie, go away. I don't want any damn coffee. A freakin' scotch, sure. Coffee ain't strong enough."

The footsteps stopped beside his desk and he sighed, leaned back and looked up. Juliet stood at his side in a pair of tailored slacks and a snug blouse. Her arms crossed over her chest defensively and her eyes were clouded. Was she crying? No, if she was the tears were gone. She looked beautiful and so sad.

"Hey," he whispered and stood then raked a hand through his hair. His desk was a mess with the pages, three empty coffee cups and a crinkled chip bag.

"Hey," she said just as softly. "You weren't home."

"No, I uhm … decided to stay late."

She stood before him a little uncomfortable. Finally she averted her eyes. "I didn't mean to sneak up on you. You didn't answer your phone and …"

"Yeah it died about five hours ago. I left the charger at home."

"I … I didn't mean to interrupt you. I shouldn't have come." She turned to leave.

"Wait," he reached for her and took her hand. She glanced down at it and he twined his fingers with hers. He turned with her. "This is my office. It ain't as fancy as yours. That's my desk there and this one here pressed right across from me is Miles. There's about ten other detectives in this precinct. We all share this big ass room together. The captain has his own office over there. A few of the night detectives are out on the streets tonight."

She smiled softly and followed him as he showed her around the precinct. They returned to his desk and he threw out the empty cups and wrappers. She sat on Miles desk, watching him curiously. "What are you reading? Is that something about your case?"

"Uh … no. Not really. Just some light reading." He gathered the papers, a bit embarrassed but she reached out to stop him, recognizing a model diagram on one of the pages.

He didn't try to stop her as she turned over the title page and she grinned. "I wrote that as part of my PHD program."

He nodded. "Yeah I figured."

Her brow furrowed as she looked at the first few pages. She read his writings in the margins and glanced to him, impressed.

"I'll get it." He said a bit defensively. "I just … I was goin' slow."

She placed the paper back on his desk. "You're doing well, James. This isn't easy to understand."

He shrugged and sat in his chair, watching her.

"I … came here to apologize. I shouldn't have slapped you."

"No, you shouldn't."

"What you said hurt."

"I'm sorry."

She looked away from him and at the wall. "I should have listened to you." Then smirked teasingly. "You were right, about Alex."

He sighed and shook his head. "I wish I wasn't. What happened?"

"We drove around downtown Miami and then we went to a place for dinner. And I dropped him back off at the hospital."

"How do you know I was right?"

She shrugged. "Some of the stuff he said. He started flirting."

"He was flirting in the coffee shop."

"Well, he was more direct after we ate. I told him I was in a relationship and then he asked if it was you. I was still so pissed at you though and I felt guilty for slapping you even though it felt great right after."

He smirked at that and took her hand. "Yeah well, I have a good slappin' face."

"You do," she said in serious agreement then held a hand up. "Fits right in the palm." She smirked.

"Yep. Means it's also a good kissin' face." He goaded and then chuckled. "What did he say after you said you were with me?"

"He was commenting on his impressions of you. That you manhandled me, have anger issues and unhealthy lifestyle choices." She shrugged. "I don't know, I saw your donut and was debating whether to have one myself. I hadn't had a cake donut in years."

He frowned. "Did I manhandle you? I didn't mean to."

"I don't think you did. You were firm but I was never afraid." She admitted and then looked at him curiously. "Trained to kill and you were armed when I struck you. I still never feared you'd hit me."

"I wouldn't hit ya. Yer just a woman."

She crossed her arms, brow quirked. "And what is that supposed to mean? Just a woman? Well you're just an asshole."

He sighed. "I didn't mean it that way. I mean I'm a man and I don't go around hittin' women. Well except that one time, but that freakin' bitch was tryin' to kill me! So that didn't count."

"How many times have people tried to kill you?"

"I lost count."

She appraised him curiously then sighed. "Anyway … I never feared you. Like I can fight with you about something and not worry about consequences. At least not physical ones."

"So did ya believe him? With all the stuff he said about me?"

"No! Well at first, I listened but he was wrong. He was wrong about you. I was a bit uneasy; we got back to the hospital." She shrugged and looked away.

"You got back to the hospital …" he probed.

She murmured something under her breath. "And it was not a big deal."

"Ya swallowed those words there, Blondie."

She sighed. "I said he kissed me."

James shot up, eyes ablaze. "He what? I'll fuckin' kill him."

"James, wait. Please, don't." She reached for his hand.

He glared at her. "What did you do?"

"I don't know. I was shocked at first and just stood there and then he pulled back and he grinned and then he frowned. I guess my face wasn't happy."

"I'll freakin' rip his face off. Did you kiss him back?"

"No! No, I didn't. I told him he shouldn't have done that and I just left him standing there."

"Great …" he paced. "He might think you're bein' a tease. Did you slap him?"

"No I only slap men who I want to kiss."

He glanced at her and smirked at her nervous smile.

"Do you really think that I'm being a flirt by reacting the way I did?"

"Uh yeah. I would take that as a green light cuz I got to ya. And he may even think that he got through to ya about me." He smirked. "Which means, I have to convince him otherwise. By kickin' the shit outta him."

She moaned and lowered her head in her hands a moment, shook her head then sighed and leaned back, rubbing her hands on her thighs. "I thought … I guess what you said is right. Men are never actually interested in what you say, or do or … it's all about just getting between your thighs."

"That's not everythin'. Don't get me wrong, it's a part. But it ain't everythin'. I'm already in yer pants and I'm still readin' that damn article tryin' to figure you out."

"You don't have to read my old articles."

"Yeah I kinda do. Ya just lit up when you were talkin' about yer research with that douchebag. Ya don't do that with me so …" he trailed off.

She smiled at that and stood, walking to him. "That's why you're reading it?"

"No … maybe. A little. It ain't important at the moment. I gotta go beat the shit outta a doctor remember?"

"Please don't do that. I already have enough to deal with now. He's an important colleague and I have to find a way to ease this over. Just let me think a little, ok?"

He eyed her then nodded. "Fine. So what now?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. This is our first big fight."

He nodded. "After fights, you're supposed to have hot angry amazin' sex." Then winked teasingly at her.

She smirked, shaking her head. "Still trying to get into my pants hmm?"

"Yeah. What you got a problem with that?"

She chuckled. "No. As long as you're not trying to wear them."

"What me? You kiddin' right, Blondie? Plus, I ain't into that. But you know who I think is?"

"No, who?"

"Alex."

"Alex?" She laughed.

"Yeah. Maybe he wasn't checkin' out yer boobs cuz he wanted to grope 'em. Maybe he wanted to have a pair to fill his pink shirt." When her laugh rang free, he grinned. "Come on, Babe, he was wearin' a baby pink shirt. Hey, maybe he kissed ya to try yer lipstick. Did it match?"

She continued to laugh and swatted his arm. He grinned and caught her hands, trapping them behind her back as he pulled her against him. "Come 'ere. I wanna try some too." He kissed her.

* * *

**Author's Note:** So I'm totally running out of awesome ideas to write in my author's note. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please read and review. I have a few other ideas I'm tossing around for additional fanfics, including a sequel to this one. If you enjoy it, let me know.


	13. Chapter 13

**Title**: Reload

**Author: **Crimson Coin

**Rating**: T. This is a tough one. T for teen possibly bordering on R for violence.

**Copyright:** This fan fiction is by no means intended to infringe on any copyright. I do not own the characters nor the series lost. My ideas are my own.

**Genre:** Drama/Romance

**Pairing:** The romantic pairing is Juliet/Sawyer – as per canon.

**Summary**: After a life of crime, Sawyer must prove himself worthy of an afterlife with Juliet. A continuation from the series finale.

* * *

James sat at his desk, looking over the guest list from the hospital's gala celebration. Names of those unable to attend were already crossed off courtesy of the hospital. James was now going through each name attempting to find a profession. "If we're looking for a doctor, we can check on them first."

Miles nodded. "Yes, and remember we're likely looking for men."

He sighed. "That ain't gonna narrow it down."

"One step at a time, Jim. We'll get it."

James' phone rang, the landline on his desk. He picked it up. "Miami PD. Jim Ford speaking."

"Hello, Detective Ford, or is it Jim. Maybe James?"

James frowned at the voice disguised almost robotic. He looked at Miles and gave him a signal. Miles scrambled and pushed a few buttons on his phone then picked it up. James recorded then answered. "Who is this?"

"Do I really need to answer that? Come come, now James, you may play stupid but you are not."

"How do you know my name?"

"This is not about me, James. This is about you. You have failed. And the time ticks. Tic Toc. Tic Toc, James. Can you hear the second hand? Perhaps on your wrist watch. Go ahead and look at your right hand. I know it's. Oh, did you forget to put it on this morning?"

James looked down at his wrist and the noticeable tan marking of where his watch usually was. He had forgotten to put it on that morning. He grew nervous.

"What was that? Silence?"

"What are you after?" James asked, slowly, controlled.

"The news has named me, you know. Triangle Killer. Not very creative, I don't think. Did someone from your department leak the details of the murders? Tsk. Tsk. Tsk."

"Why have you called me?"

The caller sighed. "You bore me, James. I run circles around you and all you can do is sit there and suck your thumb. Each time I have left more and more clues and each time you continue to fail." The voice grew annoyed, frustrated. "And you will continue to fail until I have what I want and then I will disappear and you will have NOTHING."

"So you're challenging me, is that it? You think you can best me."

"There is no think. There is success. I AM besting you, James Ford. And when I have everything I want and you have nothing, then you will see it. And I will be living free and you will be rotting in a box."

"We'll see about that."

"You do not deserve what you have, James. I will take what is mine. But back to the purpose of my call. I thought to give you all a head start. I'm reporting a murder. She's still warm. She's very pretty. And she's mine too."

Miles frowned and looked at the pictures of the victims on his desk and then looked at James who sat calm, though his muscles flexed in tension. He typed something quickly into his computer.

James watched as Miles printed something off then raced into the meeting room. "If you're reporting it, then where is she?" He glanced at the trace. 30 more seconds and they'd have the location.

"Oh James, where would the fun be in that? You're the detective. The clocks ticking, James, she's still alive … breathing slowly. Another 20 minutes and she will bleed out and then her death will be your fault. Because you failed her. How does it feel to have more blood on your hands?"

Miles knocked on the window and James looked up to see him in the other room. He taped the pictures of the blonde women there so he could see.

The voice continued. "I will take her, James. You cannot stop me. Obviously."

Miles taped up a picture of Juliet. Her resemblance to the victims, her hair, her eyes even her face. James turned white, his stomach dropped.

"Tic Toc, James, Tic Toc. You cannot be in two places at once."

The call dropped, three seconds before a trace could be made.

The captain instantly took charge as the precinct buzzed after the call. James sat, shocked, panicked. The captain approached Fox and Trimm. "Fox, Trimm, we got a general one mile area for the call. Get the coordinates and get over there, look in alleys, dumpsters, back yards, dog houses, I don't care. Find him or the girl. Ford, get down to the lab and analyze that tape. I want to hear everything. I want to hear what is happening in the background, the foreground, get rid of that voice masking. If the guy farts, I want to know. Straume, you're coming with me. We're going to the hospital."

James stood. "I have to get Juliet."

The captain shook his head. "No you aren't. I need you to calm down and get your head on straight which means you are going to listen to the tape and get everything you can. I am going with Straume to get this woman and bring her here. We have to be discreet."

James clenched his teeth but nodded and stalked away from his desk, taking the tape with him. Miles follow his captain out to the car. "You drive, Straume."

Once in the car, the captain pulled out his cell phone and dialed. "Agent Thomson. Captain Flores. We need your help."

* * *

Miles followed the captain into the hospital. He looked around the hospital waiting room as the captain approached the desk. He showed a badge. "I'm captain Juan Flores and this is Detective Miles Straume. Could you direct us to Dr. Juliet Burke's office, please?"

The woman peered at the badges then looked to the men. "One moment please." She typed. "I'm sorry, you can't see her now. It appears she's about to start an implantation. But her office is on the sixth floor if you'd like to go up and wait for her. The procedure doesn't take too long."

The captain nodded. "We will wait for her upstairs. Thank you."

Miles followed the captain again. "If it's going to be at least an hour, what will we do here?"

"Think. And wait. We can't leave this building without speaking to her. If your theories are correct, and I think they are, then we have to make sure she's safe."

Juliet returned to her office within the half hour. She wore a pair of scrubs, her hair tied back in a tight twist. Her expression confused as she entered. "Miles? What's this about? Is James alright?"

The captain stood. "Dr. Burke, I'm Captain Juan Flores. James is just fine. Please, sit, we would like to speak with you if it isn't too much trouble."

She appraised Miles, noting his nervousness and the calm control the captain spoke about the situation. "Of course." She motioned to the two chairs in front of her desk. "Please, sit."

She sat across from them. "What's going on? Miles, why isn't James with you?"

Miles cleared his throat. "He is in the lab deciphering some evidence that just came in."

"Dr. Burke," Flores interrupted. "We have reason to believe your life is in danger."

She frowned. "Me? Why me?"

"We can explain in more detail at the station, Doctor, but we would really appreciate if you'd come with us."

She shook her head. "I can't. I have patients and … I can't just up and leave and go …" she sighed and rubbed her eyes. She was torn between fear, duty, and a little curiosity.

"Why me?"

Miles leaned forward. "You know the killer the media has been talking about. He called the precinct and taunted James. By name. We pieced together some of what he said and we think you may be his target."

She blanched and swallowed hard. "I … I have to see to my patients. I can meet you there."

The captain shook his head. "We are not leaving without you. Do you have a car here?"

She nodded.

"Straume, stay with her. I'm heading back to the station. The moment she has her schedule cleared, you will accompany her back to the station. Be on the look out to see if you're followed. If he's watching her and knows that she came to us, we may be in more trouble."

Miles nodded. "I'll be discreet, sir. I'll keep her safe. If I don't James will have my head on his wall by day's end."

Juliet shook her head. "I don't understand. Who would want me?"

The captain stood. "That is what we are hoping you can tell us. We are getting the feds involved now, full force. They'll want to talk to you, as will we. We will need to know your past, anything you can remember to try and pin point who this man is and why he is so fixated on you."

Juliet nodded. "I'll come by as soon as I have things situated here for the day."

Within an hour, Miles drove Juliet's car to the station. She was quiet, lost in thought. He watched her a moment before focusing on the road again. "I know you're scared. But don't worry. We are going to do everything we can to make sure you're safe."

"All the good that'll do me when I end up dead."

He winced but didn't show it.

"Look nothing against you personally, Miles, but how many girls are dead now because of me. And you can't find him or stop him. It won't stop until I'm dead."

"Don't say that. We won't let that happen. Jim won't."

At the station, Juliet followed Miles into the precinct. The place was busy and she had to dodge racing civilians and cops. She walked upstairs towards the homicide unit and he held the door for her. She didn't see James.

The captain approached. "Dr. Burke, excellent. Come with me please."

She followed the captain, still keeping an eye for James. He led her into an interrogation room. "Please, wait here."

She sat, nervous, alone. She didn't want to be frightened. Nothing would happen to her here in the police station but she was still petrified of some psychopath trying to kill her. She still didn't understand. Why her? What had she ever done?

James walked into the unit. "I saw her car. She's here."

The captain intercepted him. "Ford. I'm taking you off this case."

"What! Why?"

"Because you on this case is a defense attorney's wet dream. You are also a possible victim for this guy to kill since he's obviously threatened by you and he's after your girlfriend. As of today, you're on vacation."

James cursed and stalked away then back to the captain. "Fuck, I can get this guy. I can do this." He snarled under his breath.

Flores didn't flinch but stared stoic and intense. He spoke low, between clenched teeth. "You are on paid vacation. At least that is what we are telling everyone. But I am not telling you what you can and can't do on your vacation. If you understand me clearly."

James watched the captain and calmed a little, running through the possibilities in his head. He knew what the captain was insinuating. That he be Juliet's protection, he'd watch for everything and anything and report back to the precinct.

"Good. Now just don't ruin our investigation, and don't do something you will regret. Understood?" The captain smirked. "Tell us everything you find out. Anything that could help us. Did Fox and Trimm find the girl?"

James nodded. "They were too late. Can I see Juliet, at least. Please. She's probably scared at least worried that it wasn't me who went to the hospital. Just gimme two minutes. All I'm askin'."

Florez weighed the options then nodded. "Two minutes. Then go home, I don't want to see you here."

"I'll leave the precinct. Go across the street to the coffee shop. I want to be here to take her home when yer done grillin' her."

The captain nodded then pointed to the interrogation room. "Two minutes."

James rushed into the interrogation room. When he entered, Juliet looked up a bit startled.

"James …" she stood and rushed to him, wrapping her arms around his neck. "What's going on?"

He hugged her tightly. "Long story, baby. Real long story. God, I'm glad you're ok."

She cupped the back of his head and sighed.

He kissed her throat. "I can't stay. The captain took me off the case. The bastard called here and taunted me. He's targetin' me and then Miles made the connection he wants you. From other evidence we got. He's forcin' vacation on me. Well vacation is what we're callin' it. Says my involvement is just askin' for the case to be thrown out."

"You won't be here? Why am I in an interrogation room?"

"Likely they're gonna wanna know all yer secrets. Findin' out about you and who you know so we can know who this guy is. He's someone you know or met or somethin'."

"I … I don't know who it could be."

"It could be anyone. Ex boyfriend, maybe a patient's husband … colleague, professor, guest speaker, it could be a waiter at a restaurant you're always at."

"Why are you telling me this? Now I'm not going to be able to get a coffee without freaking out."

He rubbed her back. "They just want all the options. You'll have to tell 'em everythin'. I understand if ya don't want me to stay. Captain told me I gotta go."

She bit her lip. "I have to tell them everything?"

He nodded. "Everything, Blondie. And I know ya don't want me to hear it all."

She swallowed hard. "Don't be upset. I don't even want to face it again."

The door to the room opened and Captain Flores stood in the doorway. "Time's up, Jim."

James sighed and eased back from Juliet to smile at her. "I'll be across the street at the coffee shop. I'm gonna bring yer article and keep givin' it a shot."

She smiled brightly. "If you want I can give you my laptop. So you can look up stuff to help you with it."

"Yeah, alright. Thanks."

She handed him her briefcase. "My papers from work are all in here too but I don't think you should take it without the case."

"Don't ya worry yer pretty head. Everything'll be right where ya left it."

She nodded then looked at the captain nervously.

James turned her head and ducked to kiss her softly. "I'll be across the street."

She smiled weakly at him and watched as he left the room with her briefcase.

James waited the rest of the afternoon and into the evening. It was nearly five hours later when Juliet walked into the coffee shop. She looked haggard, exhausted and upset. He didn't see her at first, but she saw him.

Juliet walked to the table where he sat. "James?"

He looked up and stood immediately. Her article was finished and he had his email up on the computer. He reached for her and hugged her tightly. "Damn, Blondie, they had you forever."

"I just want to go home, James. Take me home."

"I got you, Jules. It's alright." He packed up her laptop and grabbed the bag then her hand. "We'll get your car in the morning." He guided her to his car and drove to his apartment.

She said nothing on the ride home, nor when she walked into his apartment. She headed straight for the bedroom. He followed. She pulled out the pair of shorts and tank top she left the other night and walked into the bathroom to change. He checked the messages on the machine, locked the door and turned the lights out. He stripped down to his boxers.

He heard the faucet as she brushed her teeth. When she was done, she walked right to the bed. He watched her a moment then went into the bathroom to brush his teeth. When he returned to the bedroom, she was under the sheet, her back to him, curled into herself.

He slipped quietly into the bed and slid his arm around her, tugging her back into his chest. He pressed his lips to the back of her neck then the back of her head before snuggling into her. He closed his eyes.

She sighed contently and turned, snuggling into him, burying into his chest. She clung to him. He never felt her so unsure, so weak. He didn't like it. It wasn't her. She needed to be strong. He needed her strong. He wasn't used to seeing her this way. This wasn't his Juliet. Unless maybe it was.

Maybe the woman he knew was a front for someone who lost so much, hurt so much. Maybe she was just as lost as him.

His arms tightened. He'd protect her. He'd keep her safe. Even if he had to die to do it.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Another chapter here. Hope you enjoy how things are going. Don't you just hate bad guys! Please read and review. I have finished the story, but don't worry, we're not near the end yet. The more reviews I get, the quicker I'll post. If anyone has any suggestions for a one-shot they'd like to read, send a request my way with a few words or ideas for this couple or any canon pairing.


	14. Chapter 14

**Title**: Reload

**Author: **Crimson Coin

**Rating**: T. This is a tough one. T for teen possibly bordering on R for violence.

**Copyright:** This fan fiction is by no means intended to infringe on any copyright. I do not own the characters nor the series lost. My ideas are my own.

**Genre:** Drama/Romance

**Pairing:** The romantic pairing is Juliet/Sawyer – as per canon.

**Summary**: After a life of crime, Sawyer must prove himself worthy of an afterlife with Juliet. A continuation from the series finale.

* * *

2 AM

James slowly woke. He was alone in bed, the space beside him cold. He frowned and rubbed his face, humming softly as he looked around the room. He pushed out of the bed, a little stiff from the position he was in and walked from the bedroom, concerned.

She stood near the balcony window, the blinds pulled wide opened. She leaned against the wall by the window, arms crossed and peered out over the city. Her eyes were distant, her mind long lost in thought. One strap of her tank top slid down her shoulder, hanging loosely around her arm just above the elbow. Her hair, brushed and smooth - likely a nervous response, to groom. The crescent moon in the sky just enough light to illuminate her and the room.

He watched her a long moment, unsure if he was welcome to interrupt her revere. He moved quietly through the apartment and into the kitchen. If she heard him, she made no motion to indicate she noticed. He set up the coffee drip and waited patiently, watching her again. Had she even blinked?

The coffee ready, he fixed a cup just as he knew she liked it and crossed the distance between them. He slid behind her, wrapping a free arm around her waist and the other reached around to offer the steaming cup of coffee.

She glanced down and took the mug then sighed and leaned back into him. She took a slow sip of the hot coffee, careful not to burn her tongue.

He pulled her close, the hand that held the coffee now sliding up to fix the fallen strap of her shirt before slipping around her waist. He kissed the place where the strap rested on her shoulder then followed her gaze out onto the city, trying to see if there was something that had her fixated or if she was staring at nothing.

They stood in silence for endless minutes. He never spoke, never tried to pry something from her. If she wanted to tell him, she would. She finished her coffee and set the mug aside on the nearby bookshelf then leaned back into him again, resting her hands on his.

He glanced down at their hands, watching transfixed as her fingers traced patterns along his, teasing, toying almost. She was distracting herself.

He kissed her throat then a slow trail to her ear. She sighed and her eyes closed. His kiss lingered on her ear as he drawled. "Come back to bed."

She smirked. "I've been waiting months to hear you say that." She teased and rubbed his forearms then sighed again. "I can't sleep. Plus you just gave me coffee."

"Decaf."

"Still." She said then stared out at the city lights. "Thank you. I didn't want to be alone tonight."

"Can't blame ya. I wouldn't either."

"Those women are all dead. And it's my fault." Her voice soft, defeated.

"No, it ain't. It's his fault. He took their lives, not you."

"But he took them because of me."

"No, he took them because he's an asshole. He's a control freak on an ego trip and he took them cuz he's the bad guy. Not cuz of anything ya did."

"But it is. When they were questioning me, they were leading me. Like the questions. Then they'd fall quiet about things and they thought I couldn't put together what they were thinking. But I'm not stupid. James, these murders started when we started dating. That means he was watching us."

His arms tightened and teeth clenched but he calmed the anger. "Bastard probably got off on it then got so pissed he wasn't me, went out and did what he did."

"The first girl was the night after our first date. And then again after we kissed and then just again and again. It's because of me ... of us. Maybe if we stopped seeing each other, this will all stop."

"Is that what you want? Me to back off?" His arms slackened.

She gripped him tightly. "No ... don't. I'm just saying, thinking out loud. That's selfish of me, isn't it? Being with you? What if not being with you makes him stop?"

He shook his head. "It won't. He's already snapped and whether I'm with ya or not, he's going to come after ya. He has his target, he wants ya. But I think he's underestimatin' me."

"But I'm thinking about you too? What if he tries to kill you? What if he killed Tom? Oh my God, I didn't think about that. What if he killed Tom?"

"We can call the department in the morning. I'm sure they're considering it after whatever you told them. And Baby, I'm always armed. He ain't comin' right after me. And I'm a trained marine, remember. I'll see him comin'."

"But what if you don't."

"Hey. You let me worry about that, ok? I ain't goin' anywhere. I got yer back, remember? You still got mine?"

She smiled weakly. "Absolutely."

"Wanna hear my plan?"

She nodded.

"So I got off and some time to kill. I'm gonna be yer personal bodyguard. Nobody's gonna do as good a job as me. And that way I'm always around. Yuh'll be sick a me." He chuckled softly. "And when this is all said and done, yer gonna throw me on my ass ta get outta yer face."

She chuckled. "I won't do that. If you manage to keep us both alive until this guy is caught, I think I may do the opposite?"

"Opposite, hmm? Like what?"

"I don't know. Tie you to the bed so you can never leave?" She flashed him a teasing glance over her shoulder then leaned back and sighed. She smiled as she felt him chuckle.

"I wouldn't object, ya know. I do have cuffs."

"I ... never did something like that before."

"Me neither." He shrugged casually.

She did not respond but instead looked down at the street and the park across the way. "What if he's watching us now?"

"I can take ya against the window to give him a show?"

She smiled but shook her head. "No, that would set him off. He could kill another girl."

"Yeah." His arms tightened. "Want another coffee?"

"No, I'm ok."

He closed his eyes and whispered. "We should go away. For a week."

"I ... I don't think I can. I have patients. And I won't let the bastard keep me from my work. There are two women due soon. If I leave now, what if something happens."

"Won't there always be patients of yers havin' babies? Will we never be able to go on vacation?"

"I haven't had a vacation in years, James." She chuckled. "I wouldn't know what to do with myself."

"What do you mean, you haven't had a vacation in years. Ya have vacation time, right? Whaddya do with it?"

"Went to seminars ... lectures ..."

He smirked. "Baby, I'm gonna show you how to have fun."

"Those were fun." She tensed defensively.

"I'm not doubtin' ya enjoyed yerself. But I'm talkin' about a cottage by the beach."

"We live in Miami. I can get enough beach here."

"Cottage in the swamp."

She laughed. "Eaten alive by mosquitoes? I think I'll pass."

He grinned at her laugh, pleased he got one. "Ok, then we can get out of Florida. We can go to New York or Chicago, L.A. Just get lost in a city. Or go as far north as we can. We can get a cottage in Maine fer a week or head out to Colorado. Or go to Vegas." He grinned. "I'm sure we can have some fun there."

"You're very convincing, you know. The captain at the precinct suggested I try to get away, take a vacation. But to be as discreet as I could, so I couldn't be followed."

"We can drive, if you want. Instead of fly. Plus they'd rake us over the coals for last minute plane tickets."

"I suppose, I could. The two pregnancies coming due are not necessarily high risk and ... it's only the start of their eighth month."

He grinned. "So they ain't quite ready ta pop yet."

"No," she chuckled. "Ok. I'll talk to my boss today. The captain called him anyway to make him aware of the situation. They're posting more security at the hospital with police in the lobby. It's a bit last minute for me to just ask for vacation."

"Considerin' the circumstances, I'm sure he'd let you go. If anything just tell him ya have to break yer routine. Its drivin' ya nuts thinkin' some guy is followin' you. What's he gonna say?"

"No."

"Ya really think he'll say no?"

She shrugged. "We have to see. I'll talk to him tomorrow, well, today. But don't get your hopes around this until I talk to him."

"Well, I'm comin' with ya to the hospital. Bodyguard and all, remember? I ain't lettin' ya outta my sight."

She sighed. "Maybe I will be tempted to throw you out on your ass."

"I'll keep myself busy. I promise. I got my laptop and I'll bring a book. Ya won't hear a thing from me. Except that if I don't see you or hear from ya at least once every 2 hours, I'm comin' for ya."

"Great. Stalker Killer and my Stalker cop."

"That's right." He laughed at her teasing. "Just my stalkin' isn't quite as creepy."

"No. Yours is the lost puppy dog."

"Mmm," then whispers in her ear. "Scratch my belly and my leg shakes."

She laughed and turned in his arms, sliding hers up around his neck. Her head tilted, curiously. "How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Just make me relax so easily. Make it seem that everything is going to be ok even though I know it won't."

He tilted his head too. "But it is. It'll be ok. I'll make sure it is." He stepped back to tug on her hand. "Come on, let's go back to bed."

"I don't think I can sleep."

He grinned. "Then you can lay there while I sleep. Gotta hold onto somethin' unless ya want me crawlin' the streets for somethin' else to hold."

"Detective Ford, I do believe prostitution is illegal in Florida. Unless that's why you want to go to Vegas?"

"Damn, Blondie, ya found me out. I just wanna go to Vegas to pound me some legal hooker tail and bet everything I own on a hand a blackjack. Maybe some hoser will pay me a million bucks to sleep with my girlfriend while I'm at it. Then I can blow all that on the ponies. Yeah, Babe. That's exactly why I wanna go to Vegas."

She froze and watched him incredulously then laughed at his serious expression. "God, you can be such an ass sometimes."

He swiftly picked her up then tossed her on the bed. He smirked and crawled in beside her, snuggling close. She turned her back on him in mock anger but he just laughed and pulled her close again, spooning against her. "Mmm, I like this. Ya feel much better than a twenty dollar whore."

She chuckled. "Is that right?"

"Yeah, yer more like a fifty dollar whore."

She swatted his hands and scowled. "Get lost."

"Suit yerself." Then rolled away from her, turning his back on her.

She frowned at that. He squirmed and shifted then stilled. She glanced over her shoulder at him. "Oh come on, after everything you said to me, that offends you?"

"Who said I was offended?" Then rolled back to her and curled into her again. "Yeah, yer better than my pillow. Maybe yer like … a thousand dollars. Never had me one of those."

"Glad I can oblige … ass." She laughed and snuggled back into him. She lay awake for nearly another half hour. His breathing had slowed; she assumed he slept.

"Go ... to ... sleep." He drawled slowly in her ear.

"I can't clear my head enough to sleep. My mind is just racing."

"Come 'ere. I'll clear yer head." His hand traced down her body and he felt her tense, heard the slight catch of her breath. He leaned over her and kissed her, slow and sensual. He turned her to face him, settling against her and slid his leg along hers, his thigh pressed against her. She moaned.

Her fingers raked through his hair and she arched into him. He successfully cleared her head. He grinned into the kiss and continued to ensure her mind was far from the dangers of tomorrow and solely on him.

* * *

James sat on the couch in her office, leaning over onto his knees to use his lap top. His book sat to the side, half read. He had a notepad beside him and ten places scrawled in a list. He glanced up as the door opened and smiled at her.

Juliet closed the door behind her and sighed, pulling off her lab coat to hang on the coat rack by the door.

"Hey, Babe. How'd it go?"

"Alright. I can't go this week, John is on vacation. But he said I could go next week."

He nodded. "Alright. Gives us time to plan something anyway. Come here." He patted the space beside him on the couch then minimized the browser window on his computer. He sat back and grinned, holding the notepad close to his chest. "I have two surprises."

"Two?" She sat beside him. "Alright lets have it."

He handed her the pad. "There are two pages. First page is suggestion one. Second page is a check list for suggestion two."

She eyed him suspiciously a moment then glanced at the pad. In big black letters he scrawled. 'Hot Office Sex.' She looked at him and laughed at his wolfish grin. She swatted him with the pad. "Maybe another day." Then winked flirtatiously.

"Damn. Can't blame a man fer tryin'."

She chuckled and flipped the page. "What's this?"

"A list of places we can go to for our trip next week. So I thought that maybe … you could pick the ones you want the most."

"Hmm," she took the pen and crossed out one then another then another. "Ok there, sort that out."

He took the pad back and looked at the list. "Jeez, Babe, ya crossed most of them out."

"Yes. Made it nice and easy for you." She responded, smirked and walked to her desk.

He looked at the list. "Alright, so all you left was New York, Vegas, Vermont and Utah. Utah? Why would you write in Utah?"

She shrugged. "Never been there."

"Well I ain't drivin' to Utah or Vegas. So that would be a flight. I'd drive to New York but that's pretty far. Well it looks like we're flyin'. Makes the most sense, eh?"

She buried herself in paperwork.

"Whaddya say we fly out Friday night and come back Saturday?"

"Sounds wonderful." She sounded distracted.

"And then we can stay at a cabin."

"Uh huh."

"And I'll keep you tied to the bed for days."

"Uh huh."

He glanced up at her and quirked a brow. "And I'll sell ya into the sex trade."

"Course, James. Whatever you think is best."

He sighed. "Baby, ya didn't even listen to me."

"I'm sorry, James, I just have a lot on my plate right now."

He nodded and looked at his laptop. "Alright. Nevermind."

She continued to work, brow furrowed, focused. He typed on the computer, taking some notes and writing down some numbers. He didn't speak to her again. She left without a word, returned within an hour and walked right to her desk.

He watched her a long moment, unsure whether or not he should interrupt. He opted against it and lounged back on the couch, picking up his book and opened to the page he was reading.

Juliet looked up from her paperwork and watched him. "I'm almost done."

He doesn't respond.

"James?"

"Hmm," And he looked to the desk.

"I'm almost done."

He nodded and returned to his book. She looked away and back at her paperwork. Two hours later, she finally shut down her computer and gathered the papers and articles on her desk. James had fallen asleep. She walked to the sofa and sat near his torso. She stroked his cheek, his jaw. "James, wake up."

He startled awake.

She smiled. "Hey … easy. It's alright." She stroked his chest, calming the momentary wild look in his eyes. "I didn't mean to startle you."

He lay back down, frowning. "I didn't mean to fall asleep. Much good I'd do you then."

She smiled and kissed him softly. "I'm starved. Let's get out of here."

He sat up and stretched. "I booked our vacation."

Her eyes widened. "Already?"

"Yeah."

"Where are we going? You didn't ask me anything else."

"When I tried, you just yes'd me and ignored me. So I just did it myself."

She frowned. "I'm sorry, I … I was distracted. I trust you. Where are we going?"

He smirked. "Flyin' into Boston, rentin' a car and goin' up to Lake Champlain. Got us a cottage and everything. Paid prime money for it, bein' so last minute, but it's worth it. Said they had a last minute cancellation."

She smiled. "That sounds pretty. And relaxing. I've never been there."

"Me neither. It'll be fun though. We can just relax the entire time. No pressure, no work. I'll keep the cell phone off, as will you."

"God, what is that like? Turning the cell off."

He laughed. "We'll find out." He tickled a hand slowly up her spine. "You and me … all by our lonesome in a cabin by a lake …"

"Sounds like something out of a horror movie."

He smirked. "Think romance novel, Babe. Though I won't be as suave. I'll be more direct. Like a shotgun blast to the face."

She laughed and shook her head at him, letting him take her home.

* * *

**Author's Note: **Here is another chapter in my cop drama/romance/mystery whatever else you can label this monster. Thanks so much to everyone for reading and a special shout out to my reviewers. I love to read the feedback. Next chapter will be a bit more fluff before the drama takes off. Let me know what you think. Oh and I'm always open for requests for one-shots if you give me a scenerio, just let me know. Thanks again everyone and please enjoy and review.


	15. Chapter 15

**Title**: Reload

**Author: **Crimson Coin

**Rating**: T. This is a tough one. T for teen possibly bordering on R for violence.

**Copyright:** This fan fiction is by no means intended to infringe on any copyright. I do not own the characters nor the series lost. My ideas are my own.

**Genre:** Drama/Romance

**Pairing:** The romantic pairing is Juliet/Sawyer – as per canon.

**Summary**: After a life of crime, Sawyer must prove himself worthy of an afterlife with Juliet. A continuation from the series finale.

* * *

Juliet waited in the rental car as James checked in at the office in Vermont. She got out of the car and stretched, looking around. The woods were lush and deep, the scent something entirely new. She walked along the gravel road to the woods edge and peered into the dense conifers. Maybe she'd see a moose.

She smiled. That would be wonderful. She could tell Julian and he would ask if he could have one for a pet. She chuckled and looked back to the office building. It was likely a converted home; the proprietor probably lived upstairs. She couldn't believe she let James talk her into this vacation. She'd never done something so spontaneous in her life. It felt good, refreshing and completely new.

James walked out of the office with a key and a foolish grin on his face. She didn't see him at first, instead was crouched down looking at a small toad jumping along the dirt into the wood. He approached her curiously and smirked. "Real city girl huh? It's a toad, Blondie. Give him a kiss, ya might get a prince."

She glanced back at him and glared. "I know it's a toad. I'm not that closeted." She stood. "Do you have the key?"

He dangled the key in front of her. "Come on. Let's get our stuff in there. The guy said there's a supermarket about ten minutes further down the main road. We can get our food for the week."

She nodded and got back into the car as he drove down the winding road further towards the lake. They passed numerous small driveways and he pulled into the one marked number six.

"It ain't on the water, but it ain't far. Just walk down the hill there and we're on the water. But the website said ya can see the water from every cabin. Here's hopin' it ain't a dump." He laughed and got out of the car then walked up the few steps at the front door of the cabin. He glanced back at her. "Ready?"

She smiled. "At this rate, as long as it's clean and without roaches or ants, I'll be ok."

He opened the door, stepped inside and flicked the light. He smiled. It was a quaint cottage with four rooms. A kitchen/living room, two bedrooms and a bathroom. He walked around the living room then peered in the fridge at the kitchen. "Doesn't look too bad to me."

"Not at all. I'm surprised." She smiled and then walked into the bedrooms. One had a queen sized bed, the other had two twins. The bedrooms were small, each with a tiny dresser. The bathroom was small as well, but clean. "This is really nice, James." She walked from the bedroom and looked around the living room. There were two couches, a coffee table, television, telephone and a small desk, a little bookshelf with a few old paperbacks. The kitchen had a stove, oven, microwave, fridge, coffee maker some pots and pans, dishes, it was fully furnished.

James stood outside on the back porch. It was quite large, extending out with a table and chairs and an umbrella. There was a propane grill, a swing and even a hot tub at a far corner of the deck. "Baby, I think I'm in heaven."

She laughed and stepped out onto the deck. "Why? Oh" she looked around the deck. "This is … wonderful. My God, James this must have been expensive."

"Eh," he shrugged casually. "Look at that view though, Blondie. Right outta a postcard."

Juliet gazed out over the edge of the deck. The trees were cut low at one direct point offering a beautiful view of the lake. The water glistened in the sun. "The water looks rough today."

He nodded.

"No really, James, how much did you pay for this? I have to give you half."

He shook his head. "Not gonna take it. You can pay for the rental car, the supermarket and the gas if you want."

She frowned. "Was it that much?"

He sighed. "Christ, woman, can't ya just drop it? It was expensive, but it's the middle of July and we booked last minute and just happened to get the place cuz someone cancelled and I offered more money than the next guy on the waiting list cuz this place looked great. And I was right. So just be happy and let's relax."

Her expression disapproving, she crossed her arms over her chest and quirked a brow.

"You want to pay me back?"

"Yes."

"Fine. But it was a lot."

She shrugged. "I don't care. I have money."

He grinned. "It'll be pricey. Ya sure?"

She eyed him skeptically. "Something tells me you're not going to accept money."

"Nope. Payment will be in the form of special favors. One of which will be handled in that hot tub."

She frowned. "Do you know how many people likely had sex in that hot tub?"

He laughed. "Do you know how much chlorine is probably in there?"

She turned from him. "Come on, let's bring the bags in then go to the store before we get too settled."

He grumbled something under his breath but followed her. An hour later, they returned to the cabin with bags of groceries. She put most of them away as he took the ten paperbacks they purchased and laid them out along the bookcase. "Which do you want to read first?"

"The Silva one."

He nodded and tossed the book onto the couch then picked up a Patterson novel for himself and tossed it next to hers. He opened the windows, letting the cool New England breeze into the house. "Mmm, a man could get used to this ya know? It ain't so stinkin' hot here."

"It is refreshing. I hope the nights don't get too cold."

He winked. "I'll keep ya warm."

She laughed. "Come on lets go down to the water. I want to see it."

Down at the lake side, he took off his sneakers and socks. He tied the sneakers together then stuffed the socks into the shoe before carrying them onto the beach. It was sandy, hard and firm. She kicked off her sandals and picked them up, following him out to the water.

The beach was not large, likely private to these cottages. There was a dock with two canoes tied to the side. A padlock locked the rope to metal rings on the dock, preventing theft. James pointed to the canoes. "We get the key and the oars up at the office if we wanna go."

She smiled. "That might be nice. We don't have to go too far out. We can go along the shoreline."

He smirked. "Or maybe to that island there." He pointed to an island about a mile out. "Have some adventure Blondie. Maybe we can even look for Champy."

"Champy?"

"Oh come on! You never heard a Champy?"

She shook her head, frowning.

He chuckled. "It's like the Loch Ness monster a this place."

She laughed. "You can't be serious. The Loch Ness monster isn't real."

"Yeah well, when you see the dark snakelike shadow on the water, don't go yelping to me for a cuddle." He winked flirtatiously.

She laughed

He smirked, walking out onto the dock. She followed him. He glanced out at the water and inhaled. "Baby, I think comin' here was the best idea I ever had."

"It may." She agreed then stepped behind him to hug him. "Is there any way he could have followed us here?"

"Not a chance in hell. We flew into Boston so even if he followed us there, by the time he got there we were in the rental car and drivin'. We're hours away in a different state."

"Yes, but … I mean in horror movies, this is asking for the killer to get you." She shifted, uneasily.

"I know, Baby, but life ain't like the movies. Here listen. We bought the tickets for the flight a week before the flight. Ok? Miles is the only person I told where I'm going and he's not gonna leak that information to anyone. I trust him with my life. Well and the feds. I had to tell them."

Juliet nodded absently.

"And you just told Rachel right? And told her to keep her yap shut?"

"Yeah," she chuckled nervously and smiled at him.

"I was trying to get the permits to carry across state lines, but the pres just signed that bill like, a week ago, and the agency didn't want to be givin' that out to me so soon before the lawmakers could jack themselves off to the definitions."

"A new bill?"

"Yeah, that cops can carry across state lines. But it's so new, my boss didn't want to be the first makin' that request. So instead, I have to check in every night with the feds in Boston, call a secure line. I got the number in my cell. Call and tell them we're alright and then drop the call within 30 seconds. If I don't call, they know something is up. And they know we're here. Don't worry, Baby. I got yer back, remember? Look, just try to relax a little ok? You read those articles with all that statistical crap. What are the odds that he coulda found us. I mean really?"

"Pretty slim."

He nodded. "Pretty slim. And remember, they find them in the horror movies, cuz if he didn't … well what the hell kinda horror movie would that be anyway."

"It's just, what if he saw us going to the airport?"

"Ok, then he walks into the airport and buys a ticket to … where? I mean we get past security and unless he buys a ticket, he can't get to us right? So he buys a ticket to a place that he guesses we're going? And just say he found a ticket and managed to get to Boston. It woulda been on another flight. And we woulda been grounded and gone, like a hundred miles away, gone. Come on, think of those diagrams I was tryin' to understand. P is less than point … somethin'." He grinned. " Remember? So the p chance or whatever of him finding us how many hundreds of miles away is …"

She nodded slowly. "Statistically impossible."

He smiled softly. "Yeah. So … I know you're nervous. Just try to relax a little. No work … no stalker. Worst we have to worry about is a bear on the porch. The doors lock, you won't be alone. I won't even let you shower alone." He grinned wolfishly. "Will that make you feel better?"

"Maybe. If you're good." She stepped back and chuckled, some of the tension easing from her. "No work … no stalker … just … nothing."

He grinned. "It's great, ain't it? Just me … an' you … woods and a hot tub." He winked. "And a home cooked meal, damn woman, I love yer cookin."

She smirked. "Alright, then you're cleaning. I'll cook for you. You do the dishes."

He considered this a long moment and stepped towards her, sliding his arms around her waist. "Deal … I don't mind doin' a few dishes. Plus … I hear a woman gets turned on by a man who ain't afraid to do some work around the house."

She nodded, eyes teasing. "Oh yes. Because seeing you with rubber gloves up to your elbows wearing an apron just gets me going."

"If that's what it took, Blondie."

She laughed and took his hand, leading him off the dock to walk along the beach. He dodged the racing children and a few sunbathers then laughed as a Frisbee headed his way. He caught it then flipped it back to the awaiting twelve year olds.

That evening, Juliet lay out on the couch, reading her book. James was out on the deck and she heard the whir of the hot tub. She was tempted to join him; it would feel good on the muscles. But her book was just so good. She put the book down. Maybe she would join him.

James looked up as Juliet walked onto the deck in her bathing suit. He sat in the hot tub, arms outstretched to the sides. The bubbles gurgled in the tub and it steamed from the heat. He let his eyes rake her body. She tied her hair up on her head to keep it out of the water. She draped a towel over the nearby chair. She wore a simple but flattering one piece suit. "Aw, broke my heart, Blondie. I was hopin' ya had a bikini."

"I've never owned a bikini in my life."

"With that dynamite bod? Ya gotta be jokin'."

She shrugged and stepped into the hot tub then sighed, eyes fluttering as she lowered herself. "Ooo, that feels good."

His eyes darkened as he watched her.

She finally opened her eyes and shifted a little in her seat. Sometimes his eyes could be so intense, so focused, especially now when they were laced with passion. Five months ago, if a man looked at her like that, she would shy away, look away or completely ignore it. Now, it made her stomach flutter, her heart race and her mouth dry.

He licked his lips. "Ya turn me into a horndog. I can't get enough."

She smiled at him. "I like that. It's new for me. To do that to a man and … well consistently. Don't fake it."

He watched her expression grow a little guarded. "I ain't fakin' it." He reached for her and pulled her to him so she straddled his lap. He grinned at her shocked expression. "What?"

"You're not wearing a suit!"

"Nope. You were the only company I was hopin' for." He leaned forward to kiss her throat, nibbling and teasing. He smiled when he felt her slowly caving to him. "Makes it easier … to take ya right here." He husked in her ear.

She resisted him a little, slightly tense but he focused intently on the spot behind her ear that made her moan. She shivered and he grinned. She cupped his cheeks and turned his head to hers, kissing him hotly. He moaned into the kiss.

He mumbled against her lips. "It's harder to have my way with ya when ya ain't in a bikini, ya know."

"I'm sure you'll think of something." She murmured then kissed him deeply again.

She was lucky he was creative

* * *

It took him nearly a week to convince her to try the canoe. Victorious, he smirked at her as they walked out onto the dock. "I swear, you'll have fun."

"Of course I will. As long as you don't drown me."

"Keep it up, Babe, and I may hold yer head under fer good measure."

"Mr. Ford, I do believe a threat is illegal. I should report you."

"Ta who?" He laughed and looked around then helped her into the canoe towards the front. He handed her the small bag with their lunch and a beach blanket. He wore his bathing trunks with a loose T-shirt and a pair of river sandals she insisted he buy. He resisted of course and now after a week, didn't want to admit it was a great idea, at least to wear here. Where no one could see him.

She took the oar from him and then the key to the canoe. She unlocked the padlock then pulled the rope into the canoe as he pushed the canoe out into the water then got in, legs wet. He pushed them further out into the water with his oar.

She attached the key to the canoe and the key to the cabin to a metallic ring that hung from around her neck. He was surprised she seemed to know exactly what she was doing in the canoe and they began to row towards the island at the center.

"Guy in the office said that island out there's been in his family fer three generations. Can't build on it. Too far out and they don't got power there. But he pays the tax on it so no contractors go buyin' it ta put a boat house or somethin'."

She nodded. "That's smart. It's so pretty and it's the center view from his cabins."

As they rowed in the canoe, James watched Juliet brow furrow. He smiled. "Man, I got the weirdest feelin' a déjà vu."

She laughed. "I get that a lot with you. Maybe you annoyed me in a past life."

He chuckled. "Yeah, well, it's part a the charm. Plus that would be yer karma. Dealin' with me."

"Wonder what god I pissed off ta get that."

He splashed her with the oar. "Oops."

She glared at him over her shoulder then faced forward as they continued to the island. She got out of the canoe first and helped to pull it up onto the shore. He soon got out and helped her, successfully beaching the canoe. He put his hands on his hips. "Isn't this nice."

She paused to take in the surroundings. The beach was hardened sand, the water of the lake lapping gently. The forest came close to the edge, hard rock scattered throughout the pine and maple mixed wood. She walked to the forest edge and trailed her fingers along the pine needles draping from the trees.

He watched her closely, eyes memorizing her. She wore her suit under a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. "Damn you got great legs."

She simply smirked back over her shoulder at him. "Come on, let's explore the woods. But if we run into a bear, you handle it."

He grinned and secured the canoe with the rope to a tree near the coastline. They spent the afternoon exploring the island, eating lunch on the beach, picking wild blueberries from the wood then taking a swim in the lake.

He chased her out of the water and up onto the beach, letting her beat him to the blanket. She stretched out victoriously. He scratched the water from his hair and laughed. "I let you win."

"Uh huh. You keep telling yourself that."

He cocked his head, eyeing her with great pleasure and grinned. "Beautiful, Blondie. Can't get enough."

She opened her arms for him and he didn't hesitate to crawl into them, pressing her beneath him, kissing her soundly. She cupped his cheeks, easing him back to look in his eyes. Over the week, she admitted to herself that Rachel was right. She was in love with this man. This unconventional, slightly dangerous, funny, ass of a man. But did he feel the same? Could he love her too? She wondered if he was capable of love; he rarely showed emotion, true emotion. An icy wall erected around his heart and on the rare occasion he permitted her glimpses into the emotion within him. He was capable of love. He showed her affection, never told her.

James cocked his head, watching her curiously. "Gears are churnin' again. Keep that up and yer brain'll need a union rep."

She stroked his cheek but nerves and uncertainty won and she pulled him down to kiss him again, passionate, hungry. He moaned and gave in to the compulsion that consumed him the entire week; he made love to her on the beach.

* * *

Miles paced the meeting room with the agents. "We're so close I can taste him."

Flores nodded. "We're close."

One of the agents nodded. "We have our agents on this. I still can't bring myself to point the finger at the husband." He crossed his arms and looked at the photo of Edmund Burke.

A second agent nodded, her eyes intense. "I think we need to question him. He was too evasive."

The first agent shook his head. "I like Alex Kaufman. He was here on an interview when the first victim was found. He's had contact with Juliet Burke. His intentions were routed by James Ford. Plus he graduated from the same med school, but a couple years ahead of her."

A knock on the door distracted all in the room. An officer stood there. "Captain? There's a call for you on line two. Someone calling themselves 'Three'."

The captain nodded. "Patch it through, record and trace." He waited a few moments then clicked the speaker and line two buttons. "Captain Flores."

A rasped and disguised voice spoke. "Captain, you cannot hide her forever from me!" The voice distraught, trembling.

The captain remained calm. "Who is this? I am not sure who you are talking about?"

"You know exactly who I'm talking about! Do not play coy with me, Captain, you have lost! I will find her, she cannot stay hidden forever. In the meantime, I will keep myself occupied. And it will be … your … fault!"

Click

**Author's Note:** Thank you to everyone who's read and especially reviewed my stories. Getting closer to 100 reviews! So thanks agaain. So here's the latest chapter. Only I would combine sexy romance with creepy. But there you have it. Hope you enjoyed. Had you all on edge there thinking the killer would find them in Vermont. Well, muahahaha. Take that. I'm still working on a few other stories, feel free to shoot ideas my way if you have any. And of course, review! I love to see the numbers tick up. Next chapter, you'll be on the edge of your seat.


	16. Chapter 16

**Title**: Reload

**Author: **Crimson Coin

**Rating**: T. This is a tough one. T for teen possibly bordering on R for violence.

**Copyright:** This fan fiction is by no means intended to infringe on any copyright. I do not own the characters nor the series lost. My ideas are my own.

**Genre:** Drama/Romance

**Pairing:** The romantic pairing is Juliet/Sawyer – as per canon.

**Summary**: After a life of crime, Sawyer must prove himself worthy of an afterlife with Juliet. A continuation from the series finale.

* * *

Juliet fell asleep in the car on the short drive from the airport to her apartment. He reached over, shaking her slightly. "Hey, Blondie. Wakie wakie. We're back." He laughed as she mumbled in her sleep and rolled away from him. "Oh no, ya don't. I ain't carryin' ya upstairs." He tickled her.

She yelped and startled awake then swatted at his hands, her knee jamming into the dashboard. She winced. "What the hell!"

He smirked. "Good morning."

She rubbed her eyes then looked at the radio clock on the dashboard. "Morning. It's 8 at night."

"Yeah, well, I feel like its mornin'. We've been up since 6. But we're finally home. So get out." He laughed.

She quirked a brow at him, appraising. "I see … well, I have to call Rachel and Mom anyway, let them know I'm alive and you didn't go all Jack Torrance on me in the woods."

His grin broadened. "And you didn't go all Annie Wilkes on me."

"_The Shining _was better than _Misery._"

"Not a chance." He stepped out of the car then popped his trunk to take out her bag. He rested it on the ground then closed the trunk and turned to her, leaning casually back against the car. He watched her, eyeing her then reached for her hand, pulling her against him. His arms wrapped around her waist, holding her close as his head tilted to look in her eyes. "D'ya have fun?"

She draped her arms around his neck and smiled slightly. "Yeah. I did. Did you?"

He nodded. "And I kept ya safe, just like I promised I would." He slid his hands along her waist then leaned down to kiss her.

She cupped his cheeks, returning the kiss with sweet abandon before whispering. "You did. I think I should return the compliment. You are quite amazing."

He grinned at that and nibbled her lips again.

She sighed and then nuzzled his throat. "I'm exhausted. Are you?"

"Mmm hmm." He nodded slowly then licked his lips. "But I'm gonna do some wash then give Miles a call."

"Sounds like fun. Tell him I said 'Hi'."

He grinned then leaned down to kiss her softly. "I'll call ya tomorrow. Want me ta come up and make sure yer apartment is ok?"

She glanced up at the apartment and her darkened rooms at the top corner. "No, I'll be fine. I'll flick the lights when I get up there." She looked at him.

He saw the gears winding in her head again, an internal debate. He couldn't imagine what it was but part of him was curious what she had to say. He bit back the disappointment when she obviously decided against sharing her thoughts. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

He kissed her again then waited as she walked into her apartment. He watched patiently, arms crossed over his chest. Within a minute, the lights flicked in her apartment and he pushed off the car to leave. A part of him wanted her to ask him to stay, but knew that likely wouldn't happen. She would want to talk to Rachel and her mother, maybe do some laundry.

He had to do laundry too and he wanted to call Miles, see if his friend could tip him in on anything new about the case. Maybe the cops caught the guy while he was away. He could only hope

* * *

James chugged the last of his beer and put the bottle on the bar then grabbed another bottle from the man behind the counter and walked back to Miles at the pool table. Miles and Trimm engaged in a competitive game and James smirked at the look of annoyance on his partner's face.

Trimm grinned victoriously. "I don't know why you keep trying to beat me, Straume. You lose … every … time."

Fox laughed. "He just don't know when to quit, that's all. Come on Ford, you're up."

"Yeah yeah, gimme that cue." James snatched the cue from Miles who stormed over to the bar.

Trimm waved to him. "Straume, don't forget my beer now."

Miles muttered something under his breath than bought a beer for Trimm and then himself.

"Rack 'em." James said and waited at the opposite end to break. Fox arranged the balls on the table. James glanced around the bar, his eyes passing over a woman sitting with her friends. She smiled and eyed him flirtatiously.

Miles looked to the woman and smirked, momentarily thinking she looked at him but then turned and saw James. He shook his head and carried the beer to Trimm. "It's just not fair. Ford is standing there looking disinterested in everything around him, comatose at the pool table and half the bar is batting their eyes at him."

Trimm took his beer and nodded. "Women like the bad boys."

James smirked at Miles. "You can bat yer eyes at me too if ya want. Can't say I'll bat back. But I won't stop ya."

Miles took a long sip as James took his first shot. Miles grumbled. "Why do I put up with you?"

James leaned over the table and lined up his next shot. "Cuz, Bruce Lee, nobody else will put up with ya." He glanced to his partner and smirked. "Man or woman."

Fox laughed and circled the table to find his shot.

Miles bristled slightly and crossed his arms. "Yeah well … shut up."

Trimm patted Miles back. "Nice come back." Then turned his attention to James. "How was your trip? You don't look too tired."

"Naw, not really. I dropped Juliet off a couple hours ago. She wanted to call her sister and Mom."

Fox smirked. "Ouch, didn't ask you to stay again? Probably sick of you. Hell, I couldn't live with you for a week."

Miles laughed. "She was probably sick of waking up to a perpetual hard on."

The other men laughed and James shook his head, chuckling. "Y'all just jealous. You spent the last week at work and I spent the last week … well … exercisin'."

Trimm swigged his beer. "So that means your pot belly is gone now from all the …" he trailed off and Fox laughed at his partner's serious expression.

"I don't got a pot belly," Sawyer defended a bit gruffly. "Yer one to talk over there. Anyone ever tell ya, ya look like a skunk with the bloat?"

Trimm shook his head. "That's a new one."

Fox laughed again, his face nearly the color of his hair. Miles frowned. "You ok, over there? Need an icepack or something? Looks like your head is going to explode."

The cue ball cracked loudly as James took his shot and then watched the table. "So did you guys catch him while we were away? Please tell me ya did."

Miles shook his head. "No luck. And uhm …" He looked at Trimm, unsure if he should say anything.

James frowned and eyed his partner intensely. "Uhm … what?"

Fox took his shot. "He took another girl while you were away. Called the precinct, freaked out that he didn't know where we hid her. Next day we found the girl … the guys sick. I mean … sick."

James frowned. "What the Feds can't get him?"

"They don't have enough to make an arrest but we have two people of interest. I don't know why they're dragging their feet though." Trimm shook his head. "Doesn't make any sense. I think there's politicking going on that we don't know about."

James leaned back against the wall near the table, eyes lost in thought. "I thought us goin' away would help us escape this shit."

"You just did what the captain and the Feds suggested." Trimm said, simply. "And who's to say he wouldn't have done this anyway."

The men fell quiet for a few minutes, playing pool.

James checked his watch. "Damn … 1:30 already? When the hell did that happen?"

Fox chuckled. "Sometime between you beating Miles at the first game and Trimm's wife calling to nag the hell out of him."

"At least I have a woman waiting home for me. More than you can say there, boy." Trimm defended.

James chuckled; his cell phone rang. Confused he pulled it from his pocket.

"Booty call," Miles teased.

"Shut up, at least I get them." James taunted then answered the phone. "Hey, Blondie."

"James," her voice husked, whispered, tense and trembling. "James, somebody is trying to use a key on my door."

"They're what?"

"I don't know it sounds like they're trying to put a key in my door." She whispered harshly. "And trying to turn the knob."

He heard her move around quietly. James resisted the panic swelling in his stomach. "Baby, listen to me carefully. Hide, ok? Hide and I'll be right there ok? I want you to hang up the phone with me and call 911. Are you sure nobody else has a key to your place?"

"No … Rachel lost the key months ago and I had the locks … oh god … I had the locks changed."

James put his beer down then motioned for his friends to follow him. They did not hesitate. He tried to calm her but had to swallow the rage rising within him. "We can worry about that later. You changed the lock. If that's Rachel's key, it ain't gonna fit. Hide, Baby. Get yer taser and hide. Ok, I'm gonna hang up so you can call 911. Stay on the phone with the operator until I get there, ok?"

"O … Ok." She hung up.

* * *

Juliet moved quickly around her dark home, quiet. She grabbed the taser from her hand bag then dialed 911 before crawling into her closet. She closed the door then huddled in the back corner. "Hi yeah .. someone is trying to break into my house." She whispered. "My name is Juliet Burke."

"Ok, ma'am, what is your address?"

Juliet rattled off the address quickly then told the operator about the situation, that James was en route and the conversation from two weeks prior with Captain Flores.

"Alright, ma'am, stay on the line with me. I'm having a squad car get to you right away. Are you hiding?"

"Yes … I don't hear anything anymore at the door." She whispered.

"I'm still sending a squad car to you."

Juliet peered through the slat openings of her closet door, trying to see. The house was dark and the moon offered very little light. A faint clicking chilled her. "I heard the door click." She whispered. "I think he's inside."

"Ok, ma'am. I'm here with you." The operator said quickly then fell silent.

Juliet pressed her lips together as she saw a dark shadow move in her living room. She moved as quietly as she could, leaning far back in the closet. Her heart raced, palms sweaty and she swallowed hard, trying to dampen her dry mouth. She willed her breath to calm, swallowing any rising anxiety.

She choked back a gasp as the shadow moved near the balcony window on the opposite end of her bedroom. She saw him, her vision slightly broken by the thick wooden slats of her closet doors but she saw enough to have fear strike her.

The intruder was fairly short, definitely male, lithe and slender with short hair, if any, but she saw no more details, only a silhouette. He leaned over her bed that she left rumpled when she startled awake. He stroked the sheets and then inhaled from her pillow. He sighed in delight.

Juliet trembled.

The intruder turned his head, focused on her bed stand. He picked up a picture frame, looked at it closely then threw it against the wall, shattering the frame.

Juliet jumped at the crash.

He walked slowly to the frame and picked up the photo, brushing the glass shards away then stuck the photo in his pocket. He neared the mirror over her dresser.

Out of her sight, Juliet could only sit and wait, pressing down any ounce of fear and swallowing any noise that threatened to pass her lips. The seconds passed slowly. No sound.

The dark shadow of the intruder passed in front of the closet. She pressed back against the wall, her eyes wide. Her grip tightened on the taser in her one hand. She hated to admit but it was creepy when James got her the taser. Now, she could marry him for the gift.

The intruder turned towards the closet and the door creaked open, then stopped. The intruder looked to his side, towards her front door and then was gone.

She remained on the floor, taser aimed at the door of the closet.

James stood outside Juliet's door, Miles and Trimm at his side. The other men readied their weapons; James was unarmed. Someone tampered with the lock to Juliet's apartment, the door left slightly ajar. Trimm used the barrel of his gun to ease the door open. He walked inside, Fox and Miles right behind him as they moved quickly to clear the apartment.

James stepped inside slowly, staying near the door to prohibit an escape.

"Clear," Miles called. The call echoed by Trimm and then Fox. Miles stood near the balcony door in the living room. The door left open, he peered out onto the balcony. "Door's open here."

Trimm approached the balcony and stepped out, ensuring it was clear. "Could he actually get down from here?"

Miles nodded. "Look at the trellises. Something or someone was on it. The plants are disturbed, broken."

Sirens cried, growing near and stopped outside the apartment building. James walked into the bedroom. "Juliet?" He looked under the bed.

Juliet peered out of the closet and at the sight of James, sighed in relief. She pushed from the closet. "James." The adrenaline left her quickly, leaving her muscles trembling, her face ashen. "He was here. Inside."

He rushed to her, dropping to his knees and pulled her into his arms.

She swallowed hard and pointed to a far corner of the bedroom. "He threw our picture over there and took the photo and … my mirror!"

Trimm stood at the mirror of the dresser, the words, 'You cannot hide forever' scrawled in lipstick.

Everything else happened quickly. Dozens of people swarmed her apartment, police tape at the front door. James never released her, holding her in his arms, his lap or even just holding her hand as the federal agents and police asked her again and again to repeat her story. People dusted every part of her apartment for prints and picked fibers out of her carpet. The intruder raided two drawers in her dresser, much to her embarrassment, the drawer with her underwear and the drawer with her bras. He took items from both.

Finally, she snapped. "Why can't any of you do anything! Stop this! Just stop it, I'm tired! Why can't you find him!"

James pulled her into his arms, holding tightly, possessively. She buried her face in his throat and shivered, eyes closed. He rubbed her back and murmured softly in her ear. "Baby, they're doing everything they can. Life ain't like the crime dramas. Ya can't always solve these things quickly. And a big percentage of crimes go unsolved. But we are gonna do this, ok? We're gonna get him. He left a lot of clues here. They got finger prints off the door and the picture frame and DNA on the balcony. He's gettin' sloppy. It also means he's gettin' dangerous."

"I just want this to stop, James, I'm tired. I'm so sick of it I just want to scream!" She sighed and clung to him.

It shocked him that she didn't cry even after everything she'd been through. Most women would be a sobbing mess after the experience but not his Juliet. He worried that she swallowed too much, she held too much inside. "You're movin' in with me until this bastard is behind bars."

She smiled weakly. "Is that your macho way of asking me to live with you?"

"Just for now, Blondie. It ain't safe here … and my apartment is more secure, I'm on a higher floor. It'll be harder for him to get in and we can keep a cop in the lobby at all times."

After nearly three hours, the police let her gather some clothes and James took her away. He never released her hand the entire drive. He parked, carried her bag and held her hand on the walk to his apartment. Inside, he checked every room then the balcony to make sure it was safe. "It's ok here." He locked the door, the deadbolt and then the chain and brought her bag into his bedroom. "I didn't get to my laundry. I was out with Miles, Trimm and Fox."

She nodded and frowned as first rays of sunrise stretched over the horizon. "I'm exhausted."

He nodded and drew the shades shut in his bedroom. "Come on. We can sleep. I got yer laundry here from the trip and ya have clean clothes for another week. We can do the wash when we wake up. I haven't slept either."

She kicked off her sandals and crawled into bed, still in the clothes she slept in before the home invasion. He stripped down to his boxers and put his gun on the bed stand then crawled into bed beside her. He didn't touch her immediately but when she squirmed back into his chest, he encased her in his arms and quite easily succumbed to exhaustion. She followed soon after.

* * *

**Author's Note**: So the next chapter here. I'll probably be posting more regularly with this story now. I've reread the last few chapters many times and think that it works for what it is. So here you are. Thank you so much to everyone who has read and reviewed all of my stories, especially this one. Please review again if you like it. I'm almost at 100 reviews and that would certainly be exciting!


	17. Chapter 17

**Title**: Reload

**Author: **Crimson Coin

**Rating**: T. This is a tough one. T for teen possibly bordering on R for violence.

**Copyright:** This fan fiction is by no means intended to infringe on any copyright. I do not own the characters nor the series lost. My ideas are my own.

**Genre:** Drama/Romance

**Pairing:** The romantic pairing is Juliet/Sawyer – as per canon.

**Summary**: After a life of crime, Sawyer must prove himself worthy of an afterlife with Juliet. A continuation from the series finale.

* * *

Trimm stepped out of his car and looked up at the entrance to the dance club. Fox stepped out of the driver side and closed the door. "This place is all too familiar. Weren't we here two weeks ago for that assault call?"

Trimm nodded. "Party strip, Fox, at its worst." They walked inside. Their eyes adjusted after a few moments to the darkness, the black and neon lights. The pulsing bass of the music rattled the heart, forcing its rhythm to adjust to the incessant beat.

The detectives weaved through the crowd and into the back administrative offices where two uniformed officers cleared the scene. A CSI was already processing a knife on the ground. Three bouncers stood in a corner, arms crossed intimidating. The three men could easily be mistaken for linebackers, in fact, Fox was certain he saw one of them in the Rose Bowl this year. A fourth man sat, a little roughed up and tied to a chair.

Trimm quirked a brow and glanced to the large desk at the opposite end of the room. The night club owner straightened his silk suit and leaned casually against his desk, one leg raised to help him balance comfortably. "That's him." The owner pointed casually to the bound man. "Came in here swinging that knife on the floor over there to kill me. My body guards subdued him."

The man in the chair glanced up. Blood dripped from the cut on his swollen lower lip and slid down his chin. "I was kidnapped, yo. I ain't done nothin'."

Fox crossed his arms. "Ah, Two-Bit. Why do I get the feeling we've met like this before? Oh yes, because we have. The last time you attacked Mr. Brenner two months ago. In a restaurant."

"That was self defense, Holmes, ain't no attack. He attacked me … fuckin' my girl. You don't do that."

Trimm pulled a chair up and sat, straddling the chair then watched the currently captive Two-Bit. "Cut him loose." The bouncers looked to Brenner for approval and at the boss's slight nod, they cut the ropes.

Two -Bit rubbed his wrists and spat at the bouncer, the blood hitting the big tank of a man in the chest. The bouncer growled and stepped forward. Trimm stood. "Woah, there. We'll take it from here. Fox, cuff him. Tell me, Bit … why is it I don't believe you?"

"This is brutality, yo. Racism. It's cuz he's a white boy and I'm Latino. I knew it. You fuckin' cops just out for yourself."

Fox tightened the cuffs. "Or maybe because he's a business owner and you're a career criminal? Call it a hunch. Get walking."

Trimm sat in the interrogation room across from Two-Bit. Two-Bit leaned back in the chair, arms crossed uncaring as he stared at his reflection in the one way mirror. He winced a little and picked his teeth then slicked his tongue over them before glancing back at Trimm. "I told you already, that freakin' stick boy was bangin' my girlfriend, yo. Wha's a guy to do, eh? Sit back an' take it up the ass? I ain't gonna do that." He leaned forward and pressed a stiff index finger onto the table, punctuating his words. "I ain't nobody's bitch."

Trimm quirked a brow, unimpressed. "So instead of talking to your girlfriend or talking to Mr. Brenner, you broke into his office and waited for him … with a knife …"

"I wasn't gonna kill him, yo! Just scare him a little. I ain't in the business a killin'. You know dat. You know me, Holmes! You and me, we go back."

Trimm nodded. "Oh yes. We go back. Let's see … we go back to … Assault … a domestic incident … oh another domestic incident … robbery … and Auto theft."

"No way, man. That car was mine! I won that car fair and square, Holmes."

"Should we add gambling to the list?"

"I bought that car." Two – Bit said and held Trimm's gaze. "Misdemeanor at best, man."

One of the FBI agents walked into the room with a few pictures. He sat beside Trimm and eyed Two-Bit. "I believe you have some explaining to do. And the faster you start talking, the easier this will be." He presented two pictures to Two-Bit. "Would you like to explain how the dried blood of a murdered woman ended up on your knife … right here … at the hilt."

Two-Bit frowned and leaned forward. "Wha? I don't know what you talkin … oh no no no. I didn't go killin' no bitch with that thing. You can't pin that on me."

The agent nodded. "Then start talking."

"I found it."

"Found it?" Trimm goaded. "So you didn't bet it on something? Holding it for a friend?"

"Look, man, I'll tell you where I found it. I didn't kill nobody with it, I swear. It's a good scarin' knife. Keeps my boys in line. But I didn't kill nobody."

Fox and Miles watched the interrogation from behind the glass. Miles focused on the body language intensely, making mental notes about the suspect. "Agent Harris said that Two-Bit's prints don't match those from the crime scenes."

Fox shook his head. "This guy doesn't meet the profile. He's not the killer. His prints don't match the prints from Dr. Burke's apartment, either. But we can't let him know that or else he won't talk. We have to know where he found that knife."

* * *

Fox and Miles drove the few miles to the dumpster where Two-Bit claimed to have found the knife three weeks prior. Approximately four blocks from the murder scene, it was a perfect place to toss a weapon for one quickly trying to be rid of it.

Miles walked down the alley, stepping over a toppled garbage can. "Perfect drop point if the perp was on foot, on the run from the crime scene."

Fox nodded. "Any evidence is likely long gone. The dumpsters probably been emptied a few times over."

Miles inspected every inch of the dumpster. "I always think outside the box. Ford is always telling me to think inside the box."

"Inside the box …" Fox paced the length of the alley. "I don't know, Straume."

Miles sighed. "The trail is god damn dead. If Two-Bit is telling the truth, it's been weeks since the weapon has dropped."

Two CSI arrived on the scene with kits in hand. Fox nodded to them. "Thank you for coming. Anything here may be hard to find. This is the claimed drop sight. But all we can do is hope, maybe find a print, some other evidence. We need to find anything and everything."

Hours passed as the CSI and detectives combed over every inch of the dumpster and the back alley. They gathered numerous prints, a few mysterious samples and an eyewitness testimony from a homeless man who recalled seeing the knife discarded.

Miles glanced into the makeshift shelter the elderly man used and spotted a pair of latex gloves. "Those gloves look like they'd be useful."

The homeless man nodded. "The guy who tossed the knife tossed them too. I thought they looked mighty good, just needed a washin'. I haven't gotten around to that yet."

Fox motioned to a CSI to come and then addressed the man. "We'll have to take those in to evidence. But we can get you a nice fresh pair, if you like."

"Really? That'll help, yes."

"Thank you, Allen." Miles said politely and finished up his notes. "You've been a big help."

"So … ya think maybe I got me a reward coming? Ya know if you catch this guy?"

Fox eyed him suspiciously. "Do you think you could give us a description of the man … to a sketch artist? Or maybe pick his photo out from a collection of photos?"

"Maybe I could do that. I had my fire goin' so I got a glance at him."

Miles smiled. "Great. Come on down to the station then and we can get you a shower, and some clothes and a nice hot meal too."

The man grinned. "It's all coming back to me."

* * *

The district attorney sat at Captain Flores desk as Trimm and Agent Harris reviewed the evidence. "We matched a blood sample from a knife on a suspect from an unrelated crime to the DNA of Kelly Fisher, the most recent murdered girl in our serial case. That suspect's prints did not match those from the crime or the previous crime however he claimed he found the knife. We investigated the place and met a Mr. Allen Kennsington, a homeless man who makes his home in that alley. In his possession were latex gloves used at the murder. Kelly's blood was on them. Mr. Kennsington's prints do not match from the crime either."

Harris flipped through the notes of his interview. "During interrogation, he claimed to remember the man who ran down the alley and tossed the knife. His description given to the sketch artist is here." He presented the D.A. with a sketch. "We also showed him a set of photos for identification and there was one man he picked out of the twenty we showed him. Dr. Edmund Burke."

Trimm rested his hands on the desk. "That's gotta be enough for a warrant at least for his prints and a DNA sample."

The district attorney nodded. "Tell me about Kennsington. Is he clean? Could I put him on the stand and not have him torn apart?"

Harris nodded. "He seemed coherent enough. The guy was just hungry, mostly. If he is hitting anything, it's nothing hard. It's all we got though and we gotta try."

The attorney scanned all the evidence documents then glanced at Flores. "I'll see what I can do."

Within two hours, Fox had a warrant in his hands as he and Trimm drove to the Miami Central university medical research lab. Fox followed Trimm into the facility and they stopped at the central reception desk. Trimm showed a badge. "I'm detective Trimm, this is my partner, Detective Fox. Could you please page Dr. Edmund Burke please?"

The receptionist glanced at the badge then at Trimm. "Is he expecting you?"

"No," Fox answered firmly.

The receptionist nodded. "Please, have a seat."

Trimm paced, arms crossed. Fox mumbled. "I don't understand why we have to pussy foot around this place. We have the warrant."

Trimm sighed. "It's because the university is extremely powerful as a lobbyist and politicians are always watching their asses. Don't worry, just stay calm, kid."

Within five minutes, a short man in a lab coat stepped out of the elevator. "Gentleman? I'm Dr. Burke. How can I help you?"

Trimm stepped forward. "Dr. Burke, I'm Detective Trimm and this is my partner Detective Fox. Is there some place private we can talk?"

Edmund Burke nodded, calm and collected as he led the detectives from the lobby and into a spare office down the hall on the same floor.

Fox appraised the man. He matched Juliet's description of the intruder in her house. He would also know about Rachel and that she had a key to Juliet's apartment. Would likely even know her house enough to break in, or sneak in and take the key without disturbing anyone. His eyes focused on his partner. How could Trimm be so calm?

Once in the office, Trimm served Edmund with the warrant. "Dr. Burke, we have a warrant for your fingerprints and a DNA sample."

Edmund took the warrant and sat down. "Ah, well it seems I have no choice but to comply." He read the warrant, scanning the wording and some of the fine print. "He tossed the warrant on the desk then outstretched his hands."

Fox skeptically put down the small briefcase he carried and took out the ink and paper to print the doctor. If Dr. Burke was guilty, he was acting too calm, too sure. Maybe this was a dead end.

On the drive back to the precinct, Fox finally broke the silence. "He was too calm."

"Just like a serial killer would be. It's a countdown now. If he's guilty, he knows we're on to him. Hopefully Straume got in touch with Ford."

* * *

James stood at the large window at one end of Juliet's office, gazing out over downtown Miami. Arms crossed, he held the cell phone to his ear. "Ok, Miles. Got it, I'll be on my guard. I had a bad feeling about the asshole from the start. Call me the minute ya know if it's him. I'll keep Jules close."

He clicked his cell phone shut then paced the length of the office, waiting for Juliet. He resisted the urge to barge down the hall and into the baby-making room, as he liked to call it, to rip her out of there to protect her. She was in the middle of trying to impregnate a high risk case and he knew his disturbing her, no matter his reasons, would result in a fight. Even if the killer was in the room, she'd likely ream into him about the audacity to interrupt such a delicate procedure.

God, she was such a pain in the ass.

He smirked, and sat at her desk, tapping his fingers in rhythmic motion. He checked his watch then rested his chin in his palm, staring at the door, waiting for her.

The sunset illuminated the room in pinks, reds and oranges, reflecting off the glass desk and furniture. He vaguely thought it was beautiful. Maybe this was why she liked to stay at work so late, just to watch the sunset. He turned in the chair to look out the window, leaning back in the leather management style office chair.

Comfy too. His workspace felt like sitting on a chair in high school with a desk from the fifties that spat splinters if rubbed the wrong way. He heard the door to the office open then gently close. The click of her heels on the walk-off carpet identified her and he smiled. "How'd it go?"

"We won't know for a couple of weeks." She hung the lab coat on the coat rack by the door then approached her desk. "I do believe you're in my seat," she teased with a slight smirk.

"I love yer seat. Come here, let's have a look at it." He grinned wolfishly at her and took her hand. When she chuckled, he tugged her gently towards him then settled her in his lap. "Ooomf."

She swatted his arm as he laughed then pushed away from him. "Oh no you don't. Not if you're going to call me fat."

"Babe, there ain't an ounce of fat on you."

"That's not true," she chided then stood by the window, looking out at the city.

He watched her, focusing intensely on the lines of her face, her body. Over the last five, almost six months, he grew accustomed to her, used to her presence. She calmed him and raced his heart at the same time. She allowed him to be himself and never judged him. And yet within the first month of their relationship, he knew something felt different. Something felt right. At first it unsettled him that she could simply look at him and he had the sensation that she knew what he was thinking, or feeling. Now, it comforted him.

He never had to tell her what he was feeling, express his emotions or sit down to talk. She never expected him to pour out his thoughts, deepest desires and fears. He respected that about her. Most women always wanted to know what he was thinking, what he was feeling. They wanted to talk. It wasn't that Juliet didn't care. She simply didn't have to ask him to know the answer. She knew. That concept should frighten him, but it didn't. He loved it.

He couldn't pinpoint the date he fell in love with her. The closest estimate was likely the day of her mother's Memorial Day party. He had walked into the house to fetch a towel to help clean a wound on the youngest boy's leg. The boy wiped out close to the gravel drive way and scratched his calf. Mary Carlson's words haunted him still, rang in his head and left him with fleeting moments of doubt as to his worth. Within five minutes, he saw everything slip away. To lose Juliet terrified him.

How could that be? At the time, only two months together and he feared to lose her. Rarely did he speak from the heart and when he tried, he often tripped over the words, unable to communicate exactly what he needed and wanted. 'I want you', was the best he could muster. Luckily with Juliet, it was all he needed to say. She knew everything else, at least seemed to know everything else.

"You've been doing that a lot lately," Juliet interrupted. "Staring blankly at me."

"What? I like lookin' at ya. Shoot me."

She smirked at his snappy tone and the aggravation in his expression. She had interrupted a serious train of thought. She loved doing that to him. It unsettled him and often that was the only time she could read his emotions. He hid everything so well, but she did too. "Hungry?"

"Starved," he chuckled. "I almost arrested the vending machine downstairs. Damn machine wouldn't give me my Apollo bar. So I got my fist up in there ... couldn't reach it."

"So you tried to break into the vending machine."

"I wasn't breakin' in. I was gettin' what's mine. And don't look at me like that, so it wasn't exactly in the letter a the law. But that machine ate my dollar and I only had one left. I wasn't gonna shove that last dollar in there for a bar that only cost one."

"Mmm," she eyed him up and down then cocked her head. "Wanna know a secret?"

"Please."

"If you unplug it, then plug it back in again, the candy just drops right down."

"Is that right..."

"Yes. And it's technically legal." She smirked flirtatiously. "Why didn't you just go to the cafeteria? It was open."

"Cuz it tastes like airplane food. Plus ya stood me up for lunch."

"Sorry, something came up."

"Yeah yeah, excuses. Make it up to me."

She sighed. "Alright, name it."

He crossed his arms, eyes on the ceiling in obvious thought. "Buy me an Apollo bar."

She laughed. "Really? That's my penance? To buy you an Apollo bar?"

"For now," he chuckled and stood. "Then we're going out to dinner, then locking ourselves home for the night."

"Ah," she nodded and grabbed her purse and closed up her office for the night. "Alright, let's go get you your candy bar." She teased him and smirked.

"And yer doin' my wash. And then we're using the handcuffs tonight." James followed her downstairs into the waiting room for the hospital and grinned at her outright laugh at the suggestions. Surprised the waiting room was empty he gave it no other thought as she pulled a dollar from her purse and slid it into the machine. He scowled. "Some bastard musta lucked out and got my hanging candy."

She pushed the corresponding buttons and watched as the machine holder twirled and the Apollo bar neared the edge, then stopped. She frowned. "Damn it."

He grinned. "Hah, see it wasn't just me?" He glanced around the back of the machine then squatted down to reach behind and unplugged the machine. The lights in the waiting room flickered and he looked up. "Oops."

She chuckled and crouched down to get the bar from the drop then handed it to him with a gentle smile. "It worked."

He smiled and graciously took the bar from her, fingers teasingly brushing hers. He winked then stood, opened the bar. "And because I'm such a gentleman ..." he trailed off then split the bar in half and handed her the smallest piece. "You have to watch your figure."

She glared and smacked him again then took the bigger piece from his hand and walked off. "You're the one sitting around all the time. I'm at least on my feet for a better half of the day."

He grinned. "And your back the second?" Then ducked and raced to the car, finding the keys in his pocket. "Where do you wanna go to eat?" He opened the car.

She slid into the passenger seat and sighed, kicking off her heels and wiggling her toes. "Doesn't matter. I just don't feel like cooking."

"Take out or eat out."

She glanced at him, brow quirked. He hummed the jeopardy theme. She laughed and shook her head. "Today you just want me to hit you, don't you? Take out. I'm tired."

"Alright, Babe," he started the car and backed out of the spot then merged onto the road. "Miles called me. They got enough to print a suspect. If his prints match the ones at your house and at the murders, we may have him. But we gotta be extra careful. Cuz if the guy is guilty, then we may have just scared him off."

"Why didn't they just bring him in and wait to see if the prints matched, that way he was in custody?"

"Don't always work that way with political things. Ok you can't tell a soul I'm tellin' ya this, ok? Cuz technically I ain't supposed to know since I'm not really on the case no more. But Miles is tellin' me to keep me up to date. And to help me keep ya safe."

"I won't tell anyone. Who am I going to tell?"

He smirked. "I dunno. That big mouth sister a yours?" He reached for her hand and sobered, squeezing in comfort. "When Miles calls me back on the results, I'll let ya know. But we think ... they at least had the evidence to get a warrant for Edmund's prints and DNA."

"Edmund?"

"Yeah."

Juliet fell silent, thinking back carefully to every moment of the intruder in her home. The more she compared, the more she thought the silhouette could be Edmund. The lanky frame, the shape, his familiarity with her and with her things. She swallowed hard. He would have known that Rachel had a key to her apartment. He would have known where Rachel lived and would have easily managed to get into the house.

"Hey, you with me, Blondie?"

She slowly shook her head, eyes glassed. "I never thought Edmund capable of killing people. He's a doctor. His oath is to protect them."

"Yeah, and I'm sure he was doin' that at the start. But people who are sick ... he snapped, Babe. He just snapped and that means he ain't the man ya knew. I'm just tellin' ya cuz I want ya to be careful if he comes snoopin' around ya now."

"I will. What is Miles going to call you back about?"

"If the prints and DNA match. Then they can get a warrant for his house and his arrest. Well at least bring him in for questioning."

She said little else, deep in thought as he parked outside a Chinese restaurant not far from his house. "Come on, come inside with me. I don't want to leave ya alone in the car, just in case." He escorted her into the dive restaurant and she sat at one of the tables. He brought her one of the paper menus and a small pencil then sat across from her, attempting to engage her in a decision on what to order.

He reached out across the table and cupped her cheek, breaking her of her revere and brought her eyes to his. His head tilted slightly so he could better look in her eyes. "Hey. Hey, look at me. I got this under control, ya hear me? I fought in Desert Storm and in Panama fer God's sake. Nothing this guy can throw at me is gonna beat me. Ya got that? Don't let him get into yer head. Let me get there." He grinned.

She chuckled, though it was slightly forced. "This is just all too nerve wracking. Ok, I'm sorry, we're picking dinner." She willed herself to ignore the nagging fear in the back of her mind, reminding herself that James was with her and armed and perfectly capable of killing someone before they even thought about laying a finger on her. "Ok I don't know what I want but get something with chicken and I definitely want an egg roll."

He chuckled. "Alright." He circled for two egg rolls, an order of dumplings, pork fried rice and then hesitated. "Feel like hot?"

"Sure."

Then he circled the spicy orange chicken entree. He stood and brought the menu to the woman behind the counter than pulled out his wallet to pay before taking the number and joining her at the table again. "I think she said ten minutes." he whispered then reached for her hand, grabbing it firmly and squeezing. "I know what you're obsessing over. But try to think that it's better to know who it is, because now you know who to avoid. It's more terrifyin' when you don't know who's gonna sneak up on ya."

"I know." She leaned forward to whisper to him across the table. To any passerby, it would appear to be a lover's talk. The context in truth was far from that. "I'm still not used to the idea of some psychopathic murderer stalking me. One that we believe is my ex-husband which means at some point in my life, I was sleeping with him."

"Ya ain't sleepin' with him now. And don't think about the then. I know it's gotta be hard. I have to block stuff out all the time too. I mean, Christ, do you think I want to dwell on the shit I saw in combat? I saw a guy get his face blown off. It took me years to not see him every time I closed my eyes. But yer mind just like ... can file that shit away. And ya have to let it do it, or it'll eat ya up."

"You think I don't know that?" She frowned. "Do you know how many times I've lost babies … or mothers? Had to walk out of a delivery room and tell a father that I'm sorry but your wife and child are dead? It eats at you and yet the next day I have to swallow that all because I have five more patients and one new couple that comes to me with hope."

He smiled softly. "Well that is because you are amazin'."

"I'm not amazing."

"Well, I think ya are. Yer the most amazin' person I know. I'll play the Paul McCartney song in the car." He smirked, winked and stood to retrieve the bag with their food then returned to her. "Let's go, Blondie. Before the egg roll gets cold."

She smiled; her cheeks flushed from his words and reflected on the connotations of his words considering the lyrics to the song. She took the bag from him, following him to the car. "Maybe your egg roll will get cold. I'll just eat mine in the car."

He laughed.

* * *

**Author's Note:** A lot to sink in with this chapter. Thank you so much for all the feedback and reviews, especially bringing this story over 100 reviews! So by all means, please review if you like, if you don't like or if you can't wait for more.


	18. Chapter 18

**Title**: Reload

**Author: **Crimson Coin

**Rating**: T. This is a tough one. T for teen possibly bordering on R for violence.

**Copyright:** This fan fiction is by no means intended to infringe on any copyright. I do not own the characters nor the series lost. My ideas are my own.

**Genre:** Drama/Romance

**Pairing:** The romantic pairing is Juliet/Sawyer – as per canon.

**Summary**: After a life of crime, Sawyer must prove himself worthy of an afterlife with Juliet. A continuation from the series finale.

* * *

_Rhythmic gunfire surrounded him and James dove for safety, pressed closely against the ruins, gun held to his chest as he waited. He reached up, adjusting the combat helmet on his head and scanned his surroundings. Dust and dirt blasted into the air with rapid succession, marking the strikes of machine gun bullets. Five men lay dead in the street, their lifeless bodies thumping with the impact of scattered bullets. He turned his head and closed his eyes as a grenade exploded just beyond his cover and he sputtered to clear the dust from his dry cracked lips. _

_His eyes fluttered open, the lashes caked with sweat and dust as he looked back out into the street again. He calmed his breathing, counting to relax and then peeked around the side of the building, scanning the scene, spotting some of the bedded down enemies. He ducked back into cover and tried to spot his commanding officer. The sergeant eyed him then gave him a few signals. James nodded and crept away from the streets, moving slowly into the run down building he was using for cover, careful not to alert any to his movements. Luckily, the building was empty._

_The floor crunched and rumbled beneath his feet and he prayed it could take his weight. When a grenade exploded in the street, the ceiling dusted sand, clay and plaster onto his head. His combat uniform was tan now, coated in dust and sand. He lay prone and crawled to the open window overlooking the street and with extreme control, brought his assault rifle into position, resting it on the ledge to steady it. From his vantage point, he saw most of the enemies._

_His decision was quick. Take out the turret operator. Exhaling slowly, calming himself, he pressed his cheek to the hot stock of his gun. A bead of sweat hung from his brow over his eye but he didn't move, didn't dare give away his position. He released all the breath from his lungs, steadied the shot and pulled the trigger._

_His aim perfect, headshot. The man at the turret dropped. His companions ducked for cover, startled and lobbed grenades into the street. James focused, ignoring the screams of the wounded and dying and continued to fire. He aimed carefully and fired, knowing it was only a matter of time before his position was found._

_Shit_

_He ducked as a grenade flew towards his window and rolled across the floor. He pressed back against the wall and ducked down, covering his head. The grenade rolled up to the door opposite his position. He heard someone running up the stairs._

_Silence._

_He glanced over to see a marine peek around the door, eyes on James. The moment lasted forever and James recognized the newest recruit to his unit, a teenager, a kid. The grenade ticked just at the private's feet._

"_Get down!" James yelled and the grenade exploded._

_The building rumbled, shaking with the explosion and he ducked, his head rattled. His ears rang, the whistle growing in volume and pitch. It didn't fade and he didn't wait, scrambling across the room to the door. He saw a pair of boots._

_As he crawled around the door he winced, startled and fell back, sitting as he stared at Parker's lifeless body. His chest and legs torn to shreds, his head bloody, face almost gone. "Ah … Ah God," James turned away, closing his eyes. He couldn't move._

_He swallowed the nausea, the fear and the sickness then looked back at Parker. He crawled to him and cursed. Parker breathed, eyes staring blankly at him. No nose, no eye lids, lips gone, a mouth of teeth. The teeth moved. _

"_Shit, Parker, hold on."_

_Parker tried to speak and James leaned down to listen and heard the garbled words. 'Kill … me … kill … me … please."_

_Panic seized his heart, his mind and he stared at Parker. "I … I can't do that." But Parker continued to plead, only saying please. At least he heard please, he couldn't tell. Blood was everywhere, gun fire outside. He looked to the room. Nobody would know, nobody could hear. He couldn't leave Parker like this. He would die but after how long._

_James clenched his teeth and pulled out his sidearm cocked the hammer then pointed it at Parker. He pressed his lips tightly together, jaw trembling. Parker just stared at him, pained, dying. James hand shook, unsteady as he aimed the gun at the head of a boy he was in charge of protecting, was his responsibility, was his duty. His finger hesitated on the trigger and Parker muttered, choked. "Do it."_

_James pulled the trigger._

_He quickly backed away from the now lifeless body and pressed against a wall. The sounds of battle surrounded the building; the other marines fought. He heard their voices, other voices in a language he didn't understand. He closed his eyes a moment and counted to five then opened them and pushed up to his feet. He holstered his sidearm then glanced at Parker._

_The room grew white and James shielded his eyes, turning away from the light. When his vision returned, he crouched in the corner of the room, ducking, hiding. Confused, he glanced around and spotted the grenade sitting in the corner of the room nearest the door._

_Footsteps raced up the stairs. He pressed tightly against the wall. "Get down!"_

_Juliet peeked around the corner of the door and smiled at him. "James."_

_Eyes widened, he held out his hands. "No … no Get down!"_

_Juliet turned slightly to step into the room, eyes bright, joyous at the sight of him._

_The grenade exploded._

"_No!"_

"No!" James awoke, startled and wide eyed, sitting up in the bed. He trembled with the adrenaline.

Juliet startled awake as well and looked around, fearful and paranoid. She swallowed hard as she noticed the house was quiet then looked to James.

He panted, dripping with sweat, eyes frantically searching his surroundings, unfamiliar and unsure. He faintly heard his name, someone was calling him and he turned quickly towards the voice. Juliet. She was alive. He stared, silently.

She watched him, worried and uncertain. Reaching out, she hesitated to touch him.

He dove at her, unaware of the fear in her eyes as she quickly lay back. He stared at her and lifted her tank top but only to just below her breasts. His fingers skimmed her belly as he stared intently at her stomach. He tossed off the sheet and his eyes raked down her body. She wore only panties with the tank top and yet his mind was far from anything erotic. He touched her thigh and examined her in detail and with great relief. His eyes finally met hers, panicked.

"I'm ok," she whispered. "It's ok. I'm here. I'm ok." She watched him nervously, unsure what to expect.

He hugged her suddenly, tightly and buried his head into her throat. He trembled and licked his lips. "I'm sorry I woke you."

She cupped the back of his head, holding him close. "Shhh," she hushed him. They lay, silent for endless minutes, holding each other. Finally, she eased him back. "Here, let me help you. Roll over … onto your stomach."

He obeyed and stretched out on his stomach, head pillowed as he stared out the window. His expression haunted, sad, hurt. He closed his eyes and released a slow heavy sigh.

Juliet touched his back gently then straddled his hips, sitting on his backside. She unscrewed the top of a lotion she kept on the bed stand and squirted some onto her hands, rubbed them together then pressed her hands into his shoulders. Meticulously, she massaged his shoulders, rubbing the lotion into his skin, working the tense muscles, feeling the crunch beneath her palms.

He inhaled and smirked. "Flowers, Blondie? This ain't exactly the most manly a scents."

"It's all I have," she replied softly through a smile and leaned down to whisper in his ear, her knees clamping at his sides to keep her steady. "So don't complain."

He inhaled again. "Mmmm, smells like you."

She sat back and continued her slow massage of his shoulders and upper back. She sat firmly on him, legs tight, ensuring he felt her. She didn't ask about his dream, didn't pry. Instead she waited, knowing that he would say something if and when he was ready.

"I've had nightmares since I left the service."

She nodded slowly, even though he couldn't see her. "I've heard its normal. Most soldiers do."

"Yeah … yeah usually they do."

"I still have nightmares sometimes. Mostly of babies I've lost … Of losing Rachel. Like what if Rachel died when she had Julian … Or Julian died, and I couldn't save him."

"We both have nightmares of death. Only you're trying to save the dying … and I'm causin' it."

"Is it hard? To take a life?"

His eyes never wavered and he thought carefully about the question. "Sometimes. When it's the enemy, no. They train you and when you're fighting for your life … it's kinda easy. I mean they're shootin' at you … so you shoot back. When it's your life or theirs … I mean ya make the choice. Your life."

"So you chose life, over death. I choose life over death. It is the same, James. We are the same."

"We are nothin' the same, Baby," he choked, an almost gentle scoff. "Nothin'."

"I wouldn't say that. We are both haunted by our past … we both have obviously made decisions we regret. We both give everything we have day after day after day to save people, sometimes people we don't even know."

He did not answer her.

Her hands moved down to his upper back, working at the tense muscles at the pinch of his shoulders.

His eyes closed, her rhythmic motions soothing him, easing the muscles. His dream faded to the back of his mind, locked away in the filing cabinet of his brain. He willed it never to return but knew that was unlikely.

Blood

His eyes opened and he tensed.

"Shh," she soothed, hands pressing harder into his shoulders. "You're undoing all of my hard work and I"ll have to use more cream."

He chuckled. "Sorry, Blondie. Just … thinkin'." He licked his lips and glanced back over his shoulder, watching her. She did not look at him, focused on the muscles of his back. He yawned and settled into the mattress. "Why do you like me so much? You don't even know me."

She froze a moment at his words then continued her massage. "Then tell me."

"What if you don't like what you hear?"

Her hands splayed on his lower back and her fingers pressed along his spine. "Well you're going to have to take that chance."

He moaned at the sensation and as her hands returned to his upper back, his eyes closed. "In the Gulf … when we stormed Kuwait … we had to secure the harbor and the city there. I'd seen combat before that but never an all out war … never a surge like that." He smiled. "That had all of us psyched. Stormin' Normandy. Only now it was Kuwait but the same importance. I was with the first surge. They always go sendin' the marines in first. We do the dirty work then the army holds it down."

"Does the army see combat?"

"Oh yeah," he answered smoothly. "Just different. They don't go first. We do. Anyway, we got pinned down in the back alleys and I snuck up into the building and took out the machine gunner and a few others before they spotted me. They lobbed a grenade in the window. I ducked back to a corner. I was lucky, see, cuz the grenade bounced towards the door opposite me. I mean don't get me wrong it was still close but … I don't know I guess I wasn't meant to die then either. Parker was a new recruit. This was his first combat. And he came up the stairs. I remember the sounds, the battle, the gun shots. Then Parker lookin' in the door only to get blown up by the grenade."

Her hands stilled only a moment before firmly continuing down his back.

"I crawled to him," James admitted, voice deep, dark. "And I saw him there, his whole fuckin' face gone. And the god damn bastard was still alive. He was covered in blood and his eyes were just open, just these damn eyeballs lookin' at me and teeth. Just teeth. I remember his teeth. I told him it would be ok," his voice trembled. "I knew it wouldn't but I told him anyway. He begged me to kill him. I said I couldn't but he kept … I did. I just shot him … I shot him."

Juliet slid her hands down James' back and gripped as she leaned down to press a soft kiss to the back of his neck, letting him feel her body along his back. She laid still, her hands running up his sides then down over his arms and slid her fingers along his.

James closed his eyes. "How could I do that? It all seemed so fast and I knew … I couldn't leave him like that. I couldn't. And our medic was dead in the street and what the hell could we do for him anyway? He had no god damn face! He looked … like that guy outta Hellraiser."

Her fingers tightened on his hand and she kissed his hairline again then murmured in his ear. "If I had any idea, we didn't have to watch that movie. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry."

She kissed behind his ear then his neck again before sitting back and massaging him again. "And do you think I would judge you for your actions?"

"I haven't told anyone I did that. If I did … I'da been court marshaled, arrested. A trial likely and I'd be in prison. It was still murder. He was eighteen … and I shot him dead."

"Yes. You did. But he would have died anyway, likely painfully. If he didn't bleed out, the insects would have gotten to him, likely rats. They would eat him alive until he finally passed out from the pain, the heat, no water or his organs decided they couldn't sustain it any longer."

"So I did the right thing?"

"Mmm," she stroked her fingers through his hair. "I think you did."

"As a doctor, ain't ya supposed to like … be all righteous and talk about savin' people and not killin' them?"

"The key to being a doctor is to know when a case is hopeless. To know when to give up. Because you cannot save them all. And if you try, you will destroy yourself with guilt. Granted, I never pulled a gun trigger. But doctors do pull triggers whenever we take someone off life support. There is no difference, James, it is just one is less violent. You did the right thing. You showed him mercy instead of leaving him writhing in that building, alone and scared."

He reflected on her words as her massage continued, silent. He lost track of the time; her touch never stopped. Eventually he squirmed and flipped onto his back. She never left him, lifting up on her knees to let him move before sitting on his hips again, still straddling. She smirked at him and playfully squirted some lotion on his chest then pressed her hands to the muscles of his pecs to massage them.

He grinned, eyes closed and his hands rested on her thighs. "You feel good."

"So do you," she smirked and squirmed teasingly. She knew his enjoyment, could see it in his expression and feel it physically. Despite his excitement, he remained calm, letting her relax every muscle in his body. Well … almost every muscle.

"Have you ever taken anyone off life support?" His fingers gripped her, running his hands up and down her thighs.

"Yes, when I was in residency." She answered simply, working hard at the muscles near his collar and along his bicep. "Even though I was a specialist, we all still have to do our stints in the different departments and even the emergency room. I've lost patients in the ER. It happens sometimes. You can't save everyone. It's so easy, in a way, to take someone off life support. Like you said it could be easy. All I have to do is unplug the machine. Well, it's a bit more complicated than that. Take out IV's, breathing tubes, etc. But still. Nobody fights back. And just like that, life is gone. Even though the family consents to it … I still pull the plug. I physically do it."

"How do you deal with that?"

"Sometimes I can't. It's why I run. It releases the stress. The endorphins. You should try it."

"I did so much runnin' in the damn service."

She smirked. "Well, jog with me on the beach then."

"I can outrun you, Blondie. I was in the service remember. I can push myself."

"Mmm, that was many years ago."

"What you don't think I got the stamina?"

She shrugged casually. "Maybe. Close your eyes, James."

"Why?" He watched her skeptically.

"I'm not going to stab you when you're not looking." She smirked. "Come on. Trust me."

He nodded, trusting and closed his eyes. Her hands moved over his chest and then along his arms. He hummed, relaxing at her touch. "I don't get it. Ya just know how to make me relax, even when I'm ready to rip somethin' or someone to pieces."

"I don't know. You're very easy to calm."

He peeked up at her. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"No looking." She scolded and reached to his face to close his eyes then stroke the same fingers along his chin then neck. "You're easy to calm because all I have to do to relax you, is remain calm. And you just seem to feed off of that and relax too."

"Didn't think I was so easy. Maybe I should try to be more difficult."

"Maybe I won't be as patient."

He chuckled and tucked his arms behind his head. "Maybe I won't be as charmin'."

"Hmmm, maybe you won't get laid."

"Oooo, ya play dirty." He laughed and opened his eyes again, staring at her. He pressed his hands into the mattress and pushed up, sitting up so his eyes were on her level, balancing back slightly on his hands to do so. His abdomen contracted, the muscles taut to help hold himself up.

Her hands slid along his abs then up his chest to drape around his neck. She cocked her head and smiled. "Feel better?"

"Yeah … actually yeah."

"Good," she leaned forward to kiss his mouth, softly slowly once then again and then again. She hummed softly at the sensation of his lips, his tongue. Her hands gripped his shoulders.

He smirked victoriously against her lips. "This mean I'm getting' laid?"

She squirmed and grinned at his groan of frustration. "No, this means I'm getting laid. You … lay there. And let me … take care of you. For once." She chuckled and pressed her hands into his chest, forcing him to lay back. She followed him down, kissing him slowly again as his arms snaked up around her back to hold her close. He did not object to the treatment.

* * *

**Author's Note**: Thank you, again for the reviews. I know this seems a constant post, but I truly appreciate everyone who responds to my story. I spend a lot of time thinking on them and trying to perfect them. It's a wonderful feeling to know that others have enjoyed the hard work. Pretty hot scene we had here, hope you liked it. So please please, review if you like it. It inspires me to write more, maybe even post the first chapter in a new story I'm working on. (yes, that may be a bit of blackmail)


	19. Chapter 19

**Title**: Reload

**Author: **Crimson Coin

**Rating**: T. This is a tough one. T for teen possibly bordering on R for violence.

**Copyright:** This fan fiction is by no means intended to infringe on any copyright. I do not own the characters nor the series lost. My ideas are my own.

**Genre:** Drama/Romance

**Pairing:** The romantic pairing is Juliet/Sawyer – as per canon.

**Summary**: After a life of crime, Sawyer must prove himself worthy of an afterlife with Juliet. A continuation from the series finale.

* * *

James stood on the beach gazing out over the crashing waves. The hour close to ten in the morning, he glanced to either side of him and smiled; the empty beach was just beginning to fill and he had chosen the perfect spot. He turned from the water where Juliet was setting up their blankets and chairs.

The umbrella already set up, Juliet spread out the big blanket and put the beach bag and her sandals at two corners. "Put your sandals on the other corners to keep it down."

He grinned and pulled off those river sandals that Miles gave him hell for that morning and dropped each at a corner. "You don't know the hell I took for them shoes ya know."

Juliet glanced up at him and cocked her head. "Would you have preferred to wear sneakers? Maybe boots? Jeans? What do you consider proper beach attire?"

He looked down at his swim trunks and t-shirt. "Thank God ya didn't put me in a speedo. I don't mind the trunks when they're down to my knees." He smirked at her and eyes raked her body, appraising. She wore a simple sun dress and he assumed her suit was underneath. "Ya look great."

"You always say that."

"Cuz it's true." He lay out on the blanket, squinted a bit and looked up at her. "When's Rachel coming?"

She set up two of the beach chairs under the umbrella. "Soon, hopefully. As long as she can get Julian up and ready and out of the house. You … you didn't bring your gun did you?"

"Nah. Didn't think it would be the safest idea to have that here. Especially if I was gonna be in the water or somethin'."

She nodded. "Good. I'm glad especially with Julian here. Rachel isn't exactly keen on them."

"Well, I am a cop, a gun isn't exactly something I can stop using."

"I know. I didn't say I was against them." She smirked and then sat in the chair and sighed, digging her feet into the sand. "I haven't done this in a while. Are you sure it's safe?"

"What's he gonna do? Storm the beach and take you in front of hundreds of people? Just stay close and keep Julian close too. We don't need him thinkin' a leverage."

She frowned and pulled down her sunglasses to look at him. "Do you think he'd take Julian?"

"Maybe. If I were him, I would."

Her frown turned fearful. "Oh God, we have to warn Rachel."

"Don't let her panic. And we can't have her doin' anything weird. Remember, you promised me you wouldn't tell anyone. Miles called me this mornin'. The prints matched. Just tell her to stay clear a Edmund. Make somethin' up but don't tell her we're after him."

"I can't lie to my sister, James! Not with this … how can you expect me to keep this from her when she may be a target. My god, he was in her house!"

"I know. Look, I don't ask much, Baby. But you gotta do this for me. If it got out that I leaked this stuff, even to you … I'll lose my job, ok? I already told Miles about my idea with Julian. Tell her that cuz the guy is after you, we're protectin' her just in case. There's a cop stationed to protect her."

Her frown deepened, eyes troubled as she looked out over the water. "When will it end?"

"When I kill him."

Her attention turned to him, brow furrowed. "Will you kill him?"

"If I see him."

"Kill him. You'll murder him."

He remained silent and looked away.

"James …" she slipped out of the chair and knelt on the blanket. "James, look at me. Tell me you won't kill him."

Silent still, he stared at the waves, eyes intense. The muscles on his back tensed, his jaw clenched.

"Promise me," she whispered and cupped his cheek, turning his head to look in his eyes. He kept his eyes averted, but she did not give up. "Look at me. God damn it, James, look at me."

Finally, he met her eyes. His own intense, icy, and stormy.

"Promise me you won't kill him."

"Juliet …"he slowly shook his head, licking his chapped lips. "I can't make that promise." His intense gaze held hers, no emotion masked. He willed her to see his feelings, his love for her because he couldn't bring himself to say it. He wished she understood his primitive instinct to protect her at all costs, even that of his own safety, his own life.

Her lips set, pressed firmly into a line and her eyes hardened on him, volatile and hostile.

"Aunt Juliet!"

At the sound of her youthful nephew, all hostility vanished and a mask fell into place. James easily saw passed it and he didn't realize until that moment how often she was genuine with him. Rarely did he see that mask in place, only when she was afraid or hurt. He felt the way she pulled back from him and he scowled at the feeling of vacancy left within him.

Juliet turned from him a smile on her face. "Well hello Julian!"

The moment her back turned, James felt the ice, the wall and his stomach lurched. He scowled, eyes narrowed and pulled off his shirt, tossing it in the sand and stalked towards the water.

Juliet opened her arms for Julian who charged her at full force and launched in for a hug. "How are you, little man?"

"I good. Where James going? I wanna build a castle!"

Juliet glanced down the beach, watching James a moment as he walked through the waves. "James … is going for a swim. He'll be back soon."

"Oh ok." The boy squirmed from Juliet's arms and sat down in the sand under the umbrella where Rachel set out his sand toys.

Juliet watched the waves and James retreating back as he dove into the surf. Rachel walked down to the water and returned with a sand pail full of sea water. James swam out deeper into the water, bobbing past the break of the waves.

Julian chattered aimlessly about anything and everything. He recounted the last two weeks in infinite detail, not expecting or even waiting for a response.

Rachel set the pail down beside Julian. She sat beside him, dampening some of the sand for him then helping him build a little mound. He waved his shovel at her. "No, Mommy. I make the castle."

She chuckled and stood to brush off her legs. "Suit yourself." She sat beside Juliet on the blanket, easily noting her sister's distracted gaze.

Julian sneezed then shifted so his back theoretically blocked his mother's view. "No peeking! I show you when I done!"

"I won't peek." Rachel promised then leaned back on the blanket, propped up on her elbows. She watched Juliet staring blankly out into the ocean. "Hey … you ok, Jules?"

"Hmmm?" Juliet turned her attention from the ocean to her sister, eyes a bit dazed, obviously distracted.

Rachel looked to the ocean then back to Juliet. "Lovers' spat?"

"What makes you say that?"

"Oh, maybe the look on his face when he stormed to the water. Could cut glass. Or that your walls are raised. You know the ones I watched you hold steady for the years you were with Edmund? The ones you put up when you've been hurt."

Juliet glared at Rachel then stood and sat in one of the beach chairs. "I don't wanna talk about it."

"I think you should go down there and force him to talk about it."

Juliet picked up a paperback from the beach bag and sat back, opening to her page. Ignoring her sister, she read. After only a minute or two, she closed the book and threw it back into the beach bag. She crawled onto the blanket beside her sister and spoke softly, keeping her voice low so Julian couldn't hear. "Remember when I told you that psychopath was after me?"

"Yeah," Rachel whispered, her expression worried. "Did they catch him?"

Juliet shook her head. "No. The police want to protect you and Julian. So there is going to be an officer outside your home or something, keeping you safe."

Rachel frowned. "That's really necessary?"

Juliet nodded. "They think … the guy doing this is someone who knows me. Someone from my past." She looked at the water then to her sister. "Edmund is a suspect. So just be careful, ok?"

"Edmund?"

"Shhh," Juliet frowned. "Just … just be careful, ok? Please. And don't say anything or do anything to change your routine."

Rachel nodded, sobered. "Ok. Is this what you and James fought about?"

Juliet sighed and looked back to the water. James treaded water just at the point where waves began to swell. He faced the wide expanse of the ocean, not looking back to shore. Juliet licked her lips, eyes on his bobbing head. "Yeah, kinda."

"I think maybe you should go talk to him."

Juliet shook her head. "If he wants to talk, he'll come to me." She stood and pulled off her sundress, revealing the bathing suit underneath, the same suit she wore in Vermont.

Rachel sighed. "Jules, please, just once … take my advice on men, ok."

"If I recall correctly, I've taken your advice a few times before." Juliet retorted, sharply and sat down on the chair again to pick up her book. "This time, he's wrong. And he needs to figure that out."

James bobbed in the water, eyes focused on the swell of the waves. He ducked under a large one then dove into an even larger one before swimming further out then back again. He slowly walked out of the water, raking his fingers through his hair to keep it slicked. His trunks hung low around his slender hips and as he walked out of the water, a few passing college girls eyed him with pleasure.

He hardly noticed them, focused intensely on the sand then turned to look back at the water. One of the girls turned back to him. "Hey," she interrupted his thoughts.

He turned to look at her, confused at the interruption. "Yeah?"

She smiled and eyed him up and down, blatantly flirting with him.

James didn't hear what she said to him initially, looking back at the water. He vaguely noticed her body, her bikini. She looked like every other college aged girl on the beach and she seemed a bit offended he paid her no further notice.

The girl followed his gaze out to the water. "It's amazing, isn't it? The ocean?"

"Yeah, it is. Calmin'." He answered simply then scratched some more water from his hair.

Rachel watched the scene before her, a brow quirked curiously. "Uh … Jules?"

"What?" Juliet kept her eyes on her book, not bothering to look up.

"Take a look at the ocean."

"I've seen it."

"Ah," Rachel nodded. "So you see the three college girls eye humping your boyfriend and you're totally ok with that."

"What?" Juliet pulled the sunglasses off her head and stared down the beach to the water. James stood with his arms crossed, looking out at the water as three college girls stood beside him, obviously flirting. One girl laughed at something then gently touched James' arm. He looked at the hand on his arm then to the girl. Juliet frowned and looked back down at her book.

"So that means you're …"Rachel trailed off then sighed. "Oh no you don't. Don't go erecting those walls again. Why don't you go down there and claim your man."

"I don't have to claim him. He's not mine."

"Oh bull," Rachel shook her head. "You're really just going to sit there?"

"And what would you have me do, hmm? Stalk down there then wrestle the girl in the sand?" She turned a page of the book, mumbling. "If he wants to look …" she shrugged casually. Juliet looked at her book again, tried to read then sighed and watched James. The girls had yet to leave and he was laughing at something they said. She threw the book in the bag and stood. Silently, she walked away from the blanket and her sister, moving horizontally down the beach about twenty feet from James then walked down to the water. She stepped over the waves, wading out to her hips then dove into a crashing wave.

She swam out deep, past the swell of the waves where the water level was at her chest. She crouched down, watching James.

James chuckled at the girls and held up his hands. He picked up a sand dollar. "Excuse me," then walked away from them back up the beach to the blanket. He frowned at Rachel. "Hey … where is she?"

Rachel shrugged. "I don't know. She walked that way." She pointed north up the beach. "I lost sight of her."

He frowned and dropped the sand dollar into Julian's water bucket then looked up the beach. His heart clenched in his chest, stomach fluttering. Why would she wander away? She knew she was hunted, the dangers, the possibilities. Chances were slim he would take her from here but still possible.

Rachel smirked at the worried expression on his face then forced the smile away. "It may have had something to do with you checking out the college bimbos right in front of her. I don't know, call it a hunch."

"What the hell you talkin' about? I wasn't checkin' nobody out."

"Maybe not. But to someone whose marriage fell apart because her husband was attracted to the intern … you tell me."

He muttered a curse and walked up the beach.

When he walked away from the college girls, Juliet did not miss the way their eyes followed him and lingered a long moment before they continued on their way. She turned from it and stared at the ocean. It shouldn't bother her. He wasn't flirting back, really; they were flirting with him. Weren't they? She cursed her own density on the issue and ducked under the water a few times then stood to push her hair back.

After Edmund's unfaithfulness, she found her trust in men completely gone. James had succeeded in restoring most of it but now she wondered if they were not all the same. Granted, James wasn't stalking her, out to kill her. But the same when it came to women. Edmund, Tom … and then Alex and now James. They couldn't resist.

Edmund had proclaimed it was instinct. Men don't like monogamy. Maybe Edmund was right. How long would it be until James tired of her? Moved on? Foolishly, she allowed herself to fall in love, to believe he was different.

"Hey, Sunshine."

She closed her eyes, erecting the walls around her heart and hopefully her mind. She ducked under the water then slicked her hair back as she surfaced and glanced back. "James, just … leave me alone."

"Not happenin'. Water's beautiful today."

"Yeah, it's nice." She swam away from him, parallel to the beach.

He followed and when she stopped, he stopped. "Feels good."

She sighed and turned to face him. She noticed over his shoulder those same college girls wading into the water, one eyeing James as they moved out deeper into the water. "Your fan club is coming for a swim."

He frowned. "My fanclub?"

She slightly motioned with her head to the girls. He glanced back over his shoulders then sighed and rolled his eyes. When he looked back at Juliet, she was swimming away.

"Hey," he called after her and gave chase, finally catching her, he grabbed her ankle. "Wait. Juliet, wait."

She let him pull her back slightly then stood and turned to face him. Her eyes unmasked for a moment before the walls strengthened.

He turned them slightly so his back faced the shore, knowing he let his new fans see him clearly. He cupped Juliet's cheek in his palm and tilted his head. She tried to turn away from him but instead, he slid his arm around her waist, pulling her closer.

His lips touched hers, softly at first, extremely slow. Tender and gentle, he kissed her once. Her tension slowly seeped from her and he kissed her again then slowly again, his tongue teasing at her. After six slow and tantalizing kisses, she finally cupped his cheeks and held him close for a final longer and deeper kiss.

When she pulled back, his lips remained parted, eyes closed as he sighed. He licked his lips and grinned. "I was wonderin' how many kisses it would take."

She sighed and watched him. "Why did you do that?"

"Ya looked like ya needed it." He smirked and at her glare, he took hold of her hands. "I wanted to show ya how much I want ya. And I didn't know what to say to get ya to stop swimmin',"

She cocked her head to look at him, blue eyes intense, almost accusatory. "Are you attracted to me?"

Surprised, he frowned. "Course. What kinda question is that?"

"Then why do men look at other women? Why do they flirt with other women if they're attracted to another woman already?" She watched him and then glanced to the side where the college girls once were. They were stepping out of the water, one shooting a dirty look back in her general direction.

"Baby, they were talkin' to me. Yeah, flirtin' a little but I was ignorin' them. And when she touched me, so I looked at her. Shoot me. Now you know what it felt like to watch Alex moonin' over you."

She chuckled and ducked her head, eyes closed a moment. "I have a favor to ask."

"Name it."

"When you meet someone that you desire … and you want to address it, just break it off with me before you do."

He frowned. "What makes you think that I'll meet someone else that I want?"

"Because all men find someone that tempts them and I just want you to break it off with me before you do it. I don't care if it's tomorrow, two years from now or we're married with six kids, just tell me and leave before you do anything."

"I ain't gonna cheat on you."

"Just promise me, James. Please."

His brow furrowed and he sighed, nodding. "Alright, I promise. Now you listen to me. I ain't gonna cheat on you."

She opened her mouth to protest but he silenced her with a kiss.

"Listen. Ok? First of all, if we were married with … how many kids you want? Six?" He smirked and let out a slow whistle, hand stroking her waist. "I wouldn't cheat on ya or leave ya. I wouldn't do that to the kids much less you. And it ain't happenin' tomorrow cuz if I shot those girls down today, then ya still have me interested."

"And two years from now?" She asked in all seriousness.

He licked his lips. "I ain't gonna do it. I think my father cheated on my mother … and that's what drove her to do what she did. And after everything that happened to me … and what my father did. Do you really think I want to be anythin' like that man? I ain't my father."

"I tolerated a cheating husband for months … and after I left him I promised myself I'd never tolerate it again."

James nodded. "Good. So we're clear."

"Crystal."

He grinned then. "Good, now that that's over with. Let's get back on shore. I think I'm turnin' into a prune."

"James, wait, I want to talk about what we were talking about before Rachel came."

"Later, Baby. I don't wanna fight now and I think we're gonna have a fight about it."

She frowned. "What is there to fight about?"

"Later," he said simply and smiled for her. "We'll have a fight but no runnin' ok? And we'll have the best make up sex."

She sighed and nodded. "Fine. Later. But don't hold your breath on the sex, I'm pissed at you." She swam past him and back to shore. He sighed and followed her, pulling his trunks up a little as he stood. Reaching up, he raked his fingers through his hair, pushing back the annoying strands that clung to the side of his face.

He considered reaching out to touch her, but decided against it. He knelt down on the blanket beside Rachel then flopped down on his back, sighing eyes closed.

Rachel smirked. "You're going to burn. Both of you. Juliet, you're as pale as a ghost put something on."

Juliet took a brush out of the beach bag and combed her hair. "Ok, Mom." Then rolled her eyes. Her hair mostly free of tangles she tossed the brush back into the bag before taking out the sunscreen to apply it to her arms, chest, legs and face.

James grinned, eyes still closed. "I got yer back, Blondie. Any excuse to feel ya up. You got my back?"

"Maybe." She snapped back, but couldn't keep the grin off her face as he opened a single eye to watch her. "Come here then and put it on my back."

He sat up and shook her head. "No way. You come here." Then spread his legs to pat the wet place between them. "I'm soaked, you come here. I'll make it worth your while."

Rachel laughed and stood. "I'm not sitting here on the wet blanket now. You sit there and leave me to my dry chair."

Before Juliet could object, Rachel sat in the one lounge chair and Julian, sand and all crawled into the other, sitting cutely, feet and legs swinging in the sand. Rachel touched his hair. "No kicking sand, sweetie."

James grinned. "No choice now, Sweetheart. Take a load off." And patted the space in front of him again.

Juliet sighed and reluctantly sat between his legs then reached back for her hair to pull it away from her shoulders. Her eyes closed as James' warm and slightly calloused hands massaged the sunscreen into her shoulders and along her back.

"See?" He whispered. "That ain't so bad."

"Mmm, no. I have to remember when we fight, you can't touch me." She smirked teasingly over her shoulder but he could see the apprehension in her eyes. She turned slightly to grab the sunscreen. "Let me put some on you." At his frown, she sighed. "I know it's not the most manly thing. But nobody will think you unmanly for letting me rub it all over you. So suck it up, Mr. Ford."

He laughed at that and extended his arms. "Can't complain then. Begin the feel up."

She rolled her eyes at him and squirted some sunscreen on his chest then rubbed it in, down his abs and over his arms. He turned slightly so she could get his back and when he faced her again, she carefully covered his face.

He moved to the other side of the blanket, the side in the more direct sun, letting her lay in the side shaded by the umbrella. He grinned and laid back, eyes closed as he let the sun and heat dry his suit and hair.

She smiled affectionately at him. She never told him she didn't like to lie in the sun, never told him she burnt to a crisp easily. She glanced down at her pale skin. She spent so many days in the office, she rarely saw the sun anyway, at least not enough to tan.

Rachel grinned knowingly, glancing between her pale sister and the dark tanned man beside her. Julian squirmed off his chair and started digging in the sand again, determined to dig a deep hole. Juliet pushed off the blanket and brushed the sand off the chair then sat.

James chuckled. "What, do I stink?"

"Yes."

He laughed. "No I don't!"

Juliet grinned. "No, I just wanted to read."

He moved closer to her, lying on the shady side of the blanket then glanced at her. "What did you bring?"

She shrugged casually. "Sandra Brown."

Julian tugged on Rachel's hand. "Come on, Mama, wanna swim."

Rachel chuckled. "Ok, little man. We can play in the waves." She stood and followed Julian as he raced down to the water's edge.

James smirked as they left then glanced back to Juliet. "Did you bring another one?"

Juliet grinned. "I did. I knew you wouldn't think about it." She sat forward to glance into the bag and pulled out another paperback for him. She tossed it to him.

The paperback smacked him in the chest and James laughed. "How did you know it was my favorite book." He picked up the copy of _Watership Down_.

"I didn't. I was actually trying to be a wise ass."

He laughed. "It's a good book. It's about bunnies."

"That's why you like it? It's about bunnies." She smirked, playfully.

"Well if you read it, we can discuss it. I read Carrie … twice for you. You can read this next." He waved the paperback in her direction then settled on his back to hold the book open. He began to read.

As the minutes passed in silence, he reached over to her with his free hand, cupping her calf. He absently held her, stroked her calf.

Juliet glanced at him, brow quirked at his distracting ministrations on her leg. But he seemed intensely focused on his book, his touching more impulse, comfort even. She smiled softly at that and resumed her reading.

When Rachel finally returned, she smirked at the sight before her. James and Juliet read intensely, both with mirroring expressions. James' hand rested on Juliet's calf, fingers absently tracing circles. Rachel chuckled. "Well don't you both look cozy."

"Shh," James hushed her then smirked, continuing to stroke Juliet's calf as he flipped a page. "Don't spook her, she'll pull away."

Juliet glared at him and flicked her toe in the sand. The sand covered him, sticking to his sweaty skin. She grinned wickedly then turned back to her book.

Julian laughed at it and James closed his book. "That's it. Ya blew it, Blondie." He sat up, stood and ignoring Juliet's unsure look, picked her up and tossed her over his shoulder; the book dropped into the sand. She squealed in response but he ignored her, walking purposefully down to the water, a smile on his face. "Coatin' me with sand, makin' me rinse off? I ain't goin' alone."

She laughed at him and swatted his back. "I finally dried off! James don't you drop me in that surf. You'll regret it … I mean that …"

He smirked, her laugh giving away her good mood and within seconds, he tossed her into a large crashing wave.

She surfaced, eyes closed and smoothed her hair back. Her eyes finally opened and she glared at him. "I'll get you for that."

He laughed and raced passed her, diving into the surf. He dove into a few waves and swam towards the wave swells then glanced back. He frowned, scanning the water for Juliet. He couldn't see her. He stood, brow furrowed, worried. "Juliet?"

He felt hands on his hips and looked down only to see blonde hair in the depths and then his trunks around his knees. He reached down for her, trying to grab her. He smirked and grabbed her calf but she kicked away from him.

Out of reach, she surfaced, smirking wickedly. "You're lucky I didn't take them back to shore. I was considering it."

He grinned and pulled the trunks back up over his hips, adjusting himself again. "Why didn't you?"

"Because knowing you, you'd have strutted out of the water anyway and come right up to me to demand them."

"Yeah and maybe I woulda. So why didn't ya?"

She shrugged casually. "Call me the jealous type. I didn't want you strutting naked up the beach past the entire new freshman class."

He grinned. "Jealous type."

She chuckled. "Plus … you'd be arrested. And tonight is your turn for dishes."

* * *

James closed his eyes, tilting his head up into the shower stream, letting the luke warm water pound onto his skin and into his hair. He rolled his shoulders and opened his mouth, swished the water around then ducked his head to spit it out. Eyes opened, he watched the water swirl around the drain and disappear.

He wanted to avoid the pending conversation with Juliet. He knew a fight would come, things would be said and she just wouldn't understand. He had to protect her; he had to ensure that Edmund would never lay a hand on her. And if that meant shooting the bastard dead in the street, he'd do it.

He knew how difficult that decision could be. If you pointed a gun at someone, you'd better be damn sure you're capable of pulling the trigger. War taught him that and he was perfectly capable of pulling a trigger on another human being, hell even somebody on his side.

James scratched the sand from his hair and washed himself. Turning off the water, he stepped out of the shower and dried himself. Wrapping the towel around his waist, he stepped out of the bathroom.

Juliet crashed around the kitchen, cooking supper. He inhaled and sighed contently, pleased with the smell of roasting vegetables and fried pork chops. Damn she could cook. He pulled on a pair of boxers and a faded loose pair of jeans before walking into the kitchen. "Somethin' smells good."

She glanced back at him and pointed back to the bedroom with the wooden spoon. "Shirts at the table."

"Aw, come on, Baby. You can be shirtless too, ya know."

She shook her head and chuckled. James slipped up behind her and slid his arms around her waist, peering over her shoulder at the fry pan. "Did you have fun today?"

"I did … you know for a few moments, I totally forgot my ex husband is trying to kill me."

He winced and tightened his hold, watching mesmerized as she flipped the pork chops. The oil sizzled and spat, a few drops landing on his arms. It burned slightly, but he didn't mind.

They ate in comfortable silence and when finished, he stood to do the dishes. After all, it was his week. Juliet left the room and he assumed she curled up on the couch with her paperback. She could be so predictable sometimes, at least in action. Her thoughts, however, were often completely a mystery. At times, she was easy to read, other times he could sense the emotions within her but couldn't quite see it. And then there were times like this, where she was a blank wall and he saw absolutely nothing.

Her nightly routine was to curl up on the couch; he was surprised when he walked out of the kitchen to find her standing on the balcony, overlooking the city. She left her book on the coffee table, still open to save the page. He picked up the book and dog-eared the page, knowing it ticked her off. He grinned; he wanted to get a rise out of her. He set the book back on the table. "Jules."

She glanced back over her shoulder at him then stepped inside and closed the door.

"Yer head is miles away again, Blondie."

She approached him, arms crossed over her chest, defensive. Her eyes were cold, piercing and intense. "Don't kill him."

So this was it. James sighed and shook his head. "I can't promise that."

"Why? I'm not asking much, James. Just let the police get him. Let them arrest him. Why do you have to kill him?"

"Everything he did to you … to those girls … what he wants to do to you …" he trailed off, fist clenched tightly.

Juliet held his eyes. "So you will hunt him down and murder him?" She waited for James' response and when none came, she continued. "You will throw away your career for this single moment. And how will you feel when it's all over? Will you gain more than you will lose?"

James turned his eyes away and sighed, pacing to the bookshelf, back to her.

She willed any tears to stay back. "You'll go to prison, James. You'd lose your job. You resist going after Sawyer. You have the willpower to leave the past in the past. Please, James, please. Don't go after Edmund. Stay with me."

He turned to face her at the words and held her eyes. "I'd do anything to keep you safe."

"Then stay with me." She pleaded, her voice a mere whisper.

His gaze never wavered from hers and finally he sighed, eyes averted as he walked to her and took her hands in his. "I want to protect you. At all costs."

"At all costs?" She stroked the backs of her fingers over his scruffy cheek. "What price would you pay? What would you sacrifice to take his life? Your job? Your future? Me?"

"You?"

She brushed her thumb over his lip. "James, if you murdered him in cold blood you'd go to prison. And for how long? What would you lose … for the seconds of relief to have his blood on your hands."

His eyes swam with emotions, obviously weighing the consequences.

"James, don't sacrifice me for revenge. Edmund is not Sawyer."

He turned away from her then and walked to the balcony window, looking out quietly.

She turned to him, unwilling to let him run from her. "Killing him will not ease your guilt. You could not have stopped Sawyer. You could not have stopped your father. For gods sake, you were only eight. What do you think you could have done? And now you've done everything you should have to make a life for yourself. You'll throw all of that away for two seconds of vengeance."

He clenched his teeth. "Edmund murdered women … viciously. He raped them, stripped them of all their dignity then murdered them with three stab wounds to the stomach and watch them slowly bleed out before dumping them naked on the streets, leaving them faceless. He bought rings and clamped them onto their fingers which means he was pretending they were his wife … they were you." He turned his head to stare at her, his eyes haunted and full of suppressed rage. "I want to point my gun right at his head and pull the damn trigger. No … no I want to shoot him in the stomach so he feels the pain."

Juliet closed her eyes and swallowed hard, controlling the trembling in her stomach. Emotionless, she opened her eyes and held his gaze. "Then I suppose you have a choice, don't you. So you look deep in your heart and find out what you really want. See what can fill that void that you keep so well guarded."

He watched her turn from him, pick her book up off the table and walk into the bedroom. The door closed quietly, controlled and the faint light of the bed stand lamp glowed under the door. He looked back out over the city, focusing on nothing and everything.

Was he really substituting his anger towards Sawyer onto Edmund? The bastard deserved to die for what he did to those women, to Juliet. Sawyer deserved to die for what he did to James' family, to James. But at his hands? Was it his burden to exact revenge, to be judge and executioner?

The fear in Juliet's eyes the night of her home invasion had settled his mind to killing Edmund. He never wanted to see that fear, that uncertainty again. And as long as Edmund lived, she would fear. But if he were in prison, would she still fear? Would he manage to make parole? Escape? The death penalty existed in Florida and likely Edmund, if convicted, would be up for the death penalty.

If he murdered Edmund in cold blood, would he be put on death row? He was a soldier, trained to kill. But the man was a psycho murderer.

Innocent til proven guilty.

Bullshit! Edmund Burke was not innocent, but the laws of the United States protected him until that guilt could be proven. Which meant likely, his vigilante revenge would have to be prosecuted to prevent police from taking the law into their own hands.

He raked a hand through his hair and then rubbed his face, eyes closed. She said he had to choose. Choose what? What could fill the void? He didn't even know he had a void. What the hell was she talking about?

He sat on the couch, staring at the coffee table, lost in thought trying to determine what he even had to choose. What void? He searched in his mind and in his heart, at least he tried. He couldn't find a void, anything missing. He hadn't thought about Sawyer in months, at least not willingly. He did not wake up in the night, dreaming of his parent's death. Those dreams had left him a long time ago. Actually, the last time he dreamt about them was that early morning when he bumped into Juliet at the coffee house.

Juliet.

His eyes widened. Juliet filled the void. The loneliness, hopelessness, anger, tension all faded with her. Maybe that was what she meant by choose. She meant that he had to choose between her and revenge. He imagined his life if revenge had consumed him. If he let the revenge and hatred consume him, he would have hunted Sawyer. How would he have supported that hunt? Bouncing from one city to the next, hunting a man. He'd likely steal, lie and cheat, maybe gamble. He'd turn into the man he hated the most.

Instead, he chose to turn away from revenge, hatred and anger. He spent years looking for something to fill whatever it was he felt he was missing in life and now, finally, he had that. Could he throw happiness away after all this time for a little revenge?

Juliet lay on her side on the bed, staring at the book. After an hour, she was only two pages further and had no idea what she read. Closing the book, she set it on the bed stand and tucked her hands under her head, staring blankly at the window. She reached up to turn off the light and then resumed her position, curled into herself.

She was foolish to think she could be enough, that she could reach through his pain and his past to give him something else to live for. But in the end, she saw the anger in his eyes, the passion so fierce and intense that anything he ever felt towards her paled to his desire for revenge.

The door to the bedroom opened slowly and she closed her eyes as she felt the mattress sink behind her. An arm slid slowly around her waist and he pressed firmly against her back, lips descending onto her throat to offer a slow warm kiss.

She licked her lips and swallowed the lump rising in her throat. Was this goodbye?

Silence extended for endless minutes as he stared across the room, focusing on the blinds pulled shut over his balcony window. He nuzzled her throat, the hand on her waist urging her to turn to face him.

She obeyed his guiding hand and turned onto her back.

James reached up, fingers brushing at the tear stains on her cheeks, the only sign of her emotional turmoil. He smiled softly.

Unwilling to hope just yet, she licked her lips, waiting, watching. She reached up slowly to touch the side of his face, tucking loose strands of hair behind his ear.

"Made my choice," he admitted and swallowed hard, licked his lips, eyes unsure and nervous at the admission. His hands tightened on her, possessive, protective.

She closed her eyes at the words and released a breath she didn't know she held. She sighed in release when his lips touched hers and she cupped the back of his head, holding him tightly. She couldn't bear to release him and he didn't pull back as their kisses deepened and intensified, growing passionate and hungry.

Breathless, he pulled back from her and buried into her throat, nuzzling her and he inhaled deeply, her scent overwhelming him and he moaned. Her arms snaked up around his shoulders and neck, clinging to him. She pressed her eyes into his throat and held him tightly, unwilling to release him even a moment.

She finally whispered to him. "Is this goodbye?"

He shook his head and ran a hand down her side, over her thigh then up again.

She trembled and swallowed hard, her hands sliding down his back to grip his lower back then one ran up again rake her fingers through his hair.

He pulled back slightly to look in her eyes but couldn't bring himself to say the words he knew she needed to hear. She didn't pry him, didn't say anything but he easily read the emotions in her eyes. No walls, no blockade, just Juliet. His lips parted to speak but nothing came out, words escaping him.

She cupped his cheeks, eyes holding his. "Show me."

He kissed her without hesitation; slow, longing, tender and passionate. He injected every emotion, every sensation into that kiss. He may not be ready to admit he loved her, he chose her, and that she was enough and everything he needed. But he could show her.

* * *

**Author's Note**: The story is winding down. I have 4 more chapters to go. I'll post again before I go away on vacation. If you liked this last bit of sexy/fluff, let me know. Thanks again so much for reading and especially for reviewing.


	20. Chapter 20

**Title**: Reload

**Author: **Crimson Coin

**Rating**: T. This is a tough one. T for teen possibly bordering on R for violence.

**Copyright:** This fan fiction is by no means intended to infringe on any copyright. I do not own the characters nor the series lost. My ideas are my own.

**Genre:** Drama/Romance

**Pairing:** The romantic pairing is Juliet/Sawyer – as per canon.

**Summary**: After a life of crime, Sawyer must prove himself worthy of an afterlife with Juliet. A continuation from the series finale.

* * *

James put the car in park as he looked out the window of his car at Juliet's mother's house. "So this isn't a little weird that she suddenly decided to invite us over to dinner? Am I gonna walk in there with a bunch a men outta her little black book all for you?"

Juliet reached over to squeeze his hand. "I don't know, but she's my mother and when she called to invite me to dinner, she said that I could bring you. And she mentioned you by name."

"Yeah, sure. What did she say? Bring that white trash ya been shackin' up with?"

"Yes, that's exactly what she said."

James turned to look at her and smirked at her quirked brow and then laughed when he saw the smirk tugging at her lips.

She shook her head. "She called you James. Now come on. I got your back, remember."

He stepped out of the car when she did and sighed, locking it then followed her up the stairs to the front door. The hour neared seven and James hesitantly waited outside the front door. He debated raising the defensive walls but decided against it. He would not come here looking for a fight. But if something roused, he would not back down.

The door opened and Rachel grinned, welcoming. "Glad to see you showed up. Gram wasn't sure if you would."

Juliet hugged her sister. "I didn't know Gram was here. Who else did she invite?"

Rachel shrugged. "The usual crowd. Gram, Uncle Phil and his wife and kids. Just about ten of us."

James smirked. "Good, Gram and Phil like me. I might be in luck here tonight."

Rachel chuckled and hugged James. "Just leave your smart mouth at the door."

"Aw," he teased. "That means I ain't sayin' nothing all night."

"Exactly." Rachel nodded in all seriousness and led them inside.

James smirked. The sisters were completely opposite and yet at certain times, Rachel would say or do something that reminded him exactly of Juliet. He placed a hand absently on Juliet's lower back and guided her into the living room then stepped in behind her.

Gram greeted him first, smiling brightly at the sight of him. "There's my favorite jarhead!"

James laughed and greeted her first. "Jarhead, huh? I'd have to shave my head again."

"That's not happening." Juliet corrected him with a smirk then leaned down to kiss her Uncle who sat on the couch.

James chuckled and waved his greeting, shaking Phil's hand and smiled at the cousins, even the one teenage girl who obviously had a crush on him. He approached Juliet's mother and paused, unsure how to greet her. "Thank you for invitin' me to dinner, Mrs. Carlson. I really appreciate it."

Mary Carlson eyed him suspiciously then sighed and nodded. Her eyes were sad and unsure and she smiled just slightly at him. "Thank you for coming." She turned then and returned to the kitchen to finish cooking.

When Juliet walked into the kitchen, James sat beside Gram. She faced him and patted his thigh. "I'm happy you came."

"I'm happy ta be invited."

"This is very important to Mary and to Juliet. You shouldn't have kept her away so long."

James frowned. "What?"

"From the family dinner. You didn't have to do that." Gram explained, patient and kind, nonjudgmental though her eyes were sad. "We've missed Juliet these last six months. But I'm just happy you both are here now."

"Family dinner? She never told me about a family dinner."

Gram frowned. "She didn't? Every other Sunday, Mary always has a supper like this. We all get together to eat and it's just family time. Juliet never told you?"

He showed no emotional reaction, kept everything swallowed inside. "No … I swear. I didn't know."

"I see. Well then I'm sorry, I shouldn't have accused you of anything."

"Why wouldn't she tell me?"

Gram shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe you should ask her. And get that look off your face, you look like you can cut glass. And that won't get her to talk." She smirked. "No harm done, jarhead. Don't worry. That is one thing that has Mary so upset. She thinks you kept her away from us but it looks like she was keeping herself away."

James smiled in thanks as Phil brought him a beer then sat in the armchair to his opposite side. They spoke casually about baseball – though James watched very little. He was more of a football guy anyway. Growing up in Alabama, it's one of the few past times. College Football.

Juliet helped her mother in the kitchen and James watched as she set the dining room table; he saw her easily from his place on the couch. She and her mother seemed at a relative ease, unlike the last time they were here. Juliet smiled more, her mother chuckled at something and no tension remained from Memorial Day.

Why wouldn't she want to attend her family dinners? From Gram's words, this dinner was a regular event, something Juliet likely continued to attend well into her adult life. And yet he never recalled her speaking of it, never mentioned it to him, never spoke. Why would she never tell him?

_Cuz she's ashamed of you._

He scowled at the nagging in the back of his mind and shook his head to clear it away, taking a slow drink of the beer in his hand. No, that wasn't it. He hoped that wasn't it, at least. He was more inclined to believe she didn't want any more riffs, didn't want to see her mother and her boyfriend at each other's throats.

He liked to think he had more self control than that. He could be polite, real southern gentleman if he had to. It's often how he got a lot of information out of female witnesses or suspects. Early in his career, he engaged in a few undercover assignments. One was infiltrating a prostitution ring, the other a ring for black market organs.

But that was years in the past when he was still living in Los Angeles. Working undercover was like running a con. A part of him hated himself at how easy the con seemed to come to him. It reminded him how easily he could have become a con man, the criminal and not the cop. As he worked the job, he didn't like what he saw in the mirror, how he was becoming the criminal. After the job completed, he requested a transfer from the unit. But he was so successful and so quick, the Feds recruited him. They wouldn't even tell him for what, he assumed it was some intelligence game. But he couldn't do it. He couldn't become the man they needed; it felt too familiar and he promised himself he would not become what he hated most.

He quit the force in L.A. and found the opening in Miami. It was as far away as possible from the life he knew there. Working as a detective, he was far away from the con, away from the undercover aspect. It was about puzzle solving, less hands on. He preferred it, despite the pay cut.

Gram patted James' thigh again, breaking him of his thoughts. "Come now, help me stand. Dinner is almost on the table."

James stood quickly and reached down to help Gram stand. Once standing, she was pretty spry and managed to get herself to the table with relative ease. He wondered if she asked him that to break him of his thoughts. Was his expression so intense?

He walked into the dining room, unsure where to sit when he saw Juliet. She smiled at him and patted the vacant chair beside her. He offered a crooked smile and sat beside her, placing his beer beside his place. She reached out to slide her fingers through his under the table and he squeezed back.

"You ok?" She asked, obviously concerned.

He nodded. "Yeah, why?"

"I don't know. You looked lost in thought over there."

"Kinda was." He admitted then released her hand to pick up his beer and take a drink.

She watched him a bit confused and then turned to her sister, distracted from him again. Her grandmother sat across from her, a look of mild disapproval on her face, but it was for a fleeting moment and then gone.

Dinner progressed in polite, if not friendly conversation. James did not have to say much thankfully; Juliet's family was talkative enough. Even Juliet didn't speak much, but he sensed she liked it that way. She never seemed to want to be the center of attention, more content fading into the backdrop of her family conversations. When her cousins goaded her or poked fun, she just chuckled at them and shook her head. On the rare occasion, she'd have a snappy come back and that often created a laughing roar from the family members that overheard, including the one on the receiving end.

The meal was sensational; James knew now where Juliet learned to cook. "Damn, Baby," he whispered to her. "I know where you get it now. Yer Mom taught ya to cook, huh?"

Juliet chuckled and cut some of her roast. "Yes, and my Gram. Gram was a great cook. When I was a child, we used to go to her house for dinners like this."

Uncle Phil laughed. "Oh yes we did. And you and Rachel would run around like lunatics. We were lucky we could get you to sit still to eat. Little monsters they were."

Julian, on cue, raced into the room, chasing the poor cat across the floor and around the bend. The cat skidded, nails on the wood floor before darting up the stairs. Julian laughed and stayed at the bottom. "Kitty, come back!"

James laughed. "Like that?"

Juliet blushed fiercely and ducked her head into her plate as she took a bite of potato. Rachel raced through the room. "Julian, you leave that cat alone! This is why he scratched you last time."

Gram laughed and addressed Phil then Mary. "Well yes, I do believe Juliet and Rachel were just as bad if not worse!" Then looked at James. "I used to have three small Yorkies and one day after dinner, we knew it was too quiet. So we looked around the house for the girls and they were all of maybe six and four. And there they were in the bedroom, door closed with my poor Yorkies, bows, brushes and scissors giving them haircuts."

James laughed and Juliet chuckled, embarrassed and he turned slightly to eye her playfully. "So ... that mean I gotta be careful? Am I gonna wake up one day and find my hair in bows all over the floor?"

Juliet smirked. "If you don't tread lightly when I'm ticked ..."

Gram laughed. "There you go, girl. That's how you keep men in line."

James chuckled and nudged Juliet's shoulder with his own. "Yeah, she's all talk. I can melt that ice."

Mary quirked a brow, skeptical. "Really? And how so?"

James smiled calmly. "Ah, Juliet gets that look from you too. Seems like all you women do that well here."

Phil murmured. "Tell me about it."

Everyone laughed but Mary prodded. "No no, tell me. How do you melt the ice?"

Tension rising slightly in the room, Juliet shifted uncomfortably. James simply smiled and took Juliet's hand. "Ya just know how to admit when yer wrong. Melts a woman like that." And he snapped his fingers for emphasis.

Mary chuckled. "I see. And if that doesn't work?"

He shrugged casually. "Eh. I let her kick me around a little, then I cook dinner. Women love men who can cook. Or even better? Put the seat down."

Phil laughed at that and Mary looked shocked a moment before smiling herself. Gram laughed and kicked him under the table. "Saucy boy. Humor like that at the table." But she was obviously trying to hold in a chuckle.

James simply laughed and glanced to Juliet who was watching him affectionately. She squeezed his hand and the conversation quickly moved on to other more casual topics.

After dinner, Juliet and her cousins worked in the kitchen, cleaning the dishes and counter tops. James sat in the living room with Phil and Gram. Mary stepped into the doorway. "James, could you come here please?"

James looked up at her, a little wary but nodded and stood. He followed Mary into the den and he waited as Mary sat down on the couch and turned off the television. "Come, sit." She patted the seat beside her. When James sat, he looked up to see Gram walk into the room and sit in the chair next to the couch, facing him.

He smirked nervously. "Ah ... my grilling begins. I'm ready for the gauntlet." He joked and Gram smiled.

Mary shook her head. "No jokes. Is it true you didn't know about our family suppers?"

His smirk vanished and he nodded. "Yeah. I wouldn'ta kept her from ya if I knew. She saw Rachel pretty often, had her over for dinner and such but never asked ya or mentioned this shindig."

Mary nodded. "I see. And now that you know?"

"It's important to her. I just don't get what she never said anythin' to me."

Gram nodded thoughtfully. "You should ask her."

"Maybe I will ... another time. Now ain't the time."

Mary watched him and leaned back on the couch, her arm resting on the back to prop her head up. "Juliet tells me she moved in with you after that psychopath broke into her apartment."

He nodded. "I got there as soon as I could. She called me when he was breakin' in and I got there before he touched her. She had a taser and was hidin' when I found her."

"A taser? I didn't know she had a taser. Was she so afraid she bought herself one?" Mary asked, her expression, worried.

James shook his head. "Nah. I bought it for her when I first saw we had a psycho out there actin' out. Think I creeped her out a bit but I bet ya that night she was happy as all anythin' she had it."

Gram smirked. "You bought my granddaughter a taser."

James chuckled. "Yeah. My big romantic gesture."

"You bought her anything else since then?"

James smirked and quirked a brow. "What are you? Collections?"

Gram chuckled. "No, just seeing if you're romancing her properly."

James frowned. "No, I ... I uhm haven't really gotten her a lot of gifts. It almost seems petty. That ain't important to her. Buying her jewelry or candies or stuffed ... things ... I mean it doesn't seem to be somethin' she cares about. She can buy all that stuff herself, ya know? There ain't nothin' like that I can give her that she can't just … get."

"All women care about the little things, Jarhead." Gran informed him gently.

"Maybe. But I cook for her and clean up the house and keep stalkers from gettin' her. Ain't that a romantic gesture? Bein' the hero?"

Mary nodded. "Yes, but flowers are nice once in a while too. Have you ever bought her flowers?"

James frowned and shook his head then eyed Mary. "Ya keepin' score?"

Mary held his eyes, serious. "Maybe."

James swore he saw the hint of a smile, in her eyes certainly. That same look Juliet had when she wanted to make him sweat. "Noted." Then grinned. "I did ... take her away on that vacation and didn't let her pay a dime for it. Much to her dislike, let me tell ya. She was tryin' to shove cash down my pants by the time we got back to Boston. I think she's still a little pissed I wouldn't show her any of the bills or share the costs or nothin'. Here I was tryin' ta be all romantic and treat her on a getaway and she was more interested in goin' Dutch."

Gram laughed. "And what did you say when she called you on that."

"I said who she talkin' about cuz I ain't Dutch. I'm German and then she got all huffy."

Mary smirked. "Sounds like Juliet."

"Yep. So if she was goin' Dutch, she could get outta the car. Well at that moment it was canoe. And she glared at me and called me on my bluff that I wouldn't throw her outta the canoe. But when I stood up in the canoe, she recanted that statement pretty damn quick. She was a bit pissed at me til she saw I packed her favorite wine and chocolates in the picnic basket. She forgave me then."

Mary nodded. "You two went away and are now living together after only six months. I assume you're sleeping with my daughter."

James blushed. "Yeah," And kept his chin up, eyes focused. "I can't keep my hands off her."

Gram quirked a brow. "And you're admitting that to her mother and her grandmother? Do you have a desire to be thrown from the house?"

"Nope. I actually thought ya'd like to know that."

"Why would we want to know that?" Mary frowned, eyes a bit dark, even accusatory.

James shrugged casually. "After all her history with cheatin' bastards and asshole men that don't look at her like the gorgeous woman she is, I thought you'd like to know that I can't get enough of her. And she's all I need ... and want. Figure that'd be a change a pace from the other assholes she brought home."

Gram grinned at him and shook her head. "I should cuff you on the back of the head talking about my granddaughter like that."

James chuckled and looked at Mary. "I know this ain't the most ideal in yer eyes but … well it's just right. Feels right."

Mary stood and nodded her head. "That's what Juliet says. Excuse me, I'm going to go put the coffee on."

James watched her go then looked at Gram. She watched him, knowingly. "So have you told her yet?"

"Told who what?"

Gram shrugged. "That little part about love. You conveniently left that out of the discussion."

"Ah," he looked away and nodded. "That. Well … I haven't … "

"James?" Juliet called from the near room. "Do you want coffee?"

James stood and smiled. "Lady calls." And quickly dodged away from Gram, stepping into the next room. "Yeah, I'd love a cup."

Juliet smiled at him. "Black with sugar?"

"You got it, Babe." He chuckled and walked with her into the kitchen. "So what's for dessert?" He asked casually though he winked at Juliet.

Juliet rolled her eyes at him and poured him some coffee. "There are cookies on the table. That'll have to do."

After dessert and ready to leave, Juliet hugged every member of her family as James stood by the door, waiting patiently. He shook hands with Phil and Phil's wife and children then accepted a hug from Gram. Mary hugged Juliet tightly then looked at James with unsure eyes. She nodded and James smiled at her. "Night, Mom."

Mary laughed and pointed to the door. "Get out," and shook her head, smiling as she walked back into the kitchen.

James took Juliet's hand as they walked down the road to their car and he smirked. "Coulda been worse?"

She laughed. "Yes, it certainly could have been worse."

He opened the car and sat behind the wheel. They drove down the winding driveway that led to the rural road. He merged onto the mostly deserted route as they headed towards the highway. The drive continued uneventfully until a van pulled close behind their car. James squinted as the driver of the van flicked on the brightest setting for the headlights.

"Asshole, brightin' me."

They jerked forward as the van rammed them from behind. Juliet's eyes widened.

"Shit," James exclaimed then gripped the wheel tightly. "Take my cell. Call Miles. Tell him where we are."

Juliet fumbled for the cell, flipping through the address book before holding the cell to her ear. "Miles …. Miles, it's Juliet." The back bumper crinkled with another ram. "Miles, you have to help us. We're driving home from my … mother's and a van is running us off the road."

"I can't see the license plate, Miles, he's behind me. It's a dark, black maybe blue Dodge. Definitely a van." James called as the van rammed them again. The van pulled out from behind them, moving as to pass. James accelerated. "Shit, he's tryin' to pass me. He's gonna run me off the road."

James gripped the wheel as the van cut quickly to the right and smashed into his side. Two more bumps and he finally lost control, braking to turn the wheel, controlling the spin. The car slid off the road and into the ditch at the side. James heard Juliet scream before his head hit the steering wheel at the impact.

He blacked out.

* * *

**Author's Note:** And so it begins. Thanks so much for coming this far with me. I'm going away on vacation and thought this just the most perfect part to leave you with, don't you agree? Please review, let me know what you think.


	21. Chapter 21

**Warning: **This chapter and the next contains violence and mature themes. Just be warned.

**Title**: Reload

**Author: **Crimson Coin

**Rating**: T. This is a tough one. T for teen possibly bordering on R for violence.

**Copyright:** This fan fiction is by no means intended to infringe on any copyright. I do not own the characters nor the series lost. My ideas are my own.

**Genre:** Drama/Romance

**Pairing:** The romantic pairing is Juliet/Sawyer – as per canon.

**Summary**: After a life of crime, Sawyer must prove himself worthy of an afterlife with Juliet. A continuation from the series finale.

* * *

James slowly roused from unconsciousness but made no sound and stayed motionless. His eyes remained closed as he listened and sensed his surroundings. He sat in a metallic chair, his body tied tightly to the chair, his wrists bound behind him with rope as well. His head pounded and he felt a pressure point on the side of his forehead. He remembered the van, running off the road then Juliet's scream. They must have crashed and considering his current state, they were captured.

He wore his clothes, his shoes too – at least they hadn't taken those before tying him up. His chest ached and he wouldn't be surprised if his ribs were bruised, if not broken. His jaw ached, throbbing and he wondered if they attacked him while he was unconscious.

He pushed his own pain and condition to the back of his mind as he attempted to gather his surroundings. He listened. He wasn't alone. Three, maybe four other men were in the room.

"I know you're awake, James, just open your eyes." An unfamiliar male voice.

James smiled. "Mmm, dreams are too good."

The owner of the voice scowled, the expression obvious in the voice. "They will not be good for long."

"We'll see," James retorted then finally opened his eyes. He glanced around the room, likely an electrical room, maybe a basement. The floor concrete, the walls cinderblocks. There were fuse boxes on the walls, wires everywhere and across from him, a door leading where, he didn't know. The lighting of the room flickered and buzzed. His eyes finally rested on the man sitting calmly in front of him, legs crossed as he leaned against a table.

The men eyed him maliciously. "Do you know who I am?"

James shrugged. "Nope." His chest exploded at the shrugging. His ribs were definitely injured.

The man leaned forward, feet on the floor and he glared, obviously offended. "You should by now."

James simply quirked a brow. "Alright, enlighten me."

The man smirked. "I am the first to be buried between her thighs." His eyes brightened, watching for a reaction and his grin broadened as James tensed. "Ah … that got a rise, didn't it? How's it feel to have my seconds? Hmm? Knowing every time … you are inside. I've been there too."

James willed the fury and rage to subside and he exhaled a long slow breath. "Maybe, but ya ain't there now. I am." Then grinned as the man across from him glared. James glanced around the room again. "Nice digs ya got here, Doc. This where ya bring all yer dates?"

Edmund Burke glared, eyes intense and focused. Within an instant, the heat and anger were gone and Edmund leaned back, crossing his legs again. He smirked, watching and waiting, his fingers rhythmically tapping the table to his side.

James turned his head and noticed the two muscle heads standing near that closed door. He looked away from the men and peered over his shoulder, trying to spot Juliet.

"Are you looking for her?"

James didn't answer.

Edmund grinned and tapped his finger again. "Listen carefully, James. Listen … just a little."

James glared at Edmund, eyes focused. James turned his head to listen, he swore he could hear something. Something behind the door.

Edmund glanced to the muscle man at the door. "Go …"

The man grinned and opened the door, stepping inside. The door closed. Silence again. James struggled just slightly against the ties. The ropes tied tight, he could not loosen them. Instead, he looked to Edmund when he heard a voice. His eyes widened; he recognized Juliet's voice.

Edmund grinned wickedly and leaned forward, watching James' reaction.

"Stop it," Juliet pleaded. "Don't … please don't." Then another pleading cry … another … then a whimper. Each scream accompanied by a sickening thud and then a man's grunt. Silence.

* * *

Juliet looked frantically around the small storage closet in which she was held. Unlike James, she wasn't lucky enough to be knocked unconscious at the accident. In fact, she nearly fled but her fear for James kept her in her seat as she reached over to touch him.

Too late.

The door to her side of the car flung open and a big hand held a cloth over her face. She struggled, but he was stronger and the darkness enveloped her.

She awoke in a dark and damp storage closet. Tight waxed rope bound her to an office chair, one wheel missing. An old tape recorder sat on the desk and she frowned, trying to get a glimpse of the tape inside.

Edmund walked into the room, eyes on her. He smiled warmly, affectionate and yet his eyes flickered with cold and calculated threats. "Hello, Juliet."

She met and held his gaze, straightening her back. He sat down in the chair beside the tape recorder and pressed play. He watched her as the tape played, replaying a conversation she and Edmund had.

Juliet's brow furrowed as she watched him, recognizing the conversation, the argument they had the night she served him with the divorce papers. She hadn't gotten out of the house before he came home and the confrontation was not pleasant. The argument intense and she closed her eyes, turning her head away. She knew what was to come in the tape, knew the next part was when he struck her, when he beat her for her actions.

Edmund stopped the recorder. "Sound familiar, Juliet?" He smiled at her disgusted look. "You didn't think I recorded that conversation. Well … I recorded a lot of things you probably didn't know about. That would be audio … and video."

Edmund tilted his head and smirked. "Aw, there is no need to look at me with such disdain." He slowly approached her then stroked the backs of his fingers over her cheeks. She stiffened but never turned away, staring at him. "You are so different from the girl in med school. You've changed. I liked you much better when you were … complacent."

He chuckled. "I would kiss you, dear, but I fear in your current state … you'd bite my tongue." He leaned down so he could look right in her eyes. "But … before we leave here tonight … you will kiss me. And you'll do it willingly too."

He grinned, lecherously. "So wait here, my dear. I have some … business to finish."

She waited until he left the room then shivered, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. She could feel the panic swelling inside her and frantically wished for James, praying this was just a dream. She closed her eyes and counted slowly.

1

2

3

4

5

She opened her eyes; it wasn't a dream. She choked against the restraints of her gag and struggled in her chair. It was useless – the ties were tight. She heard mumbling voices past the door but couldn't make them out. She didn't know how much time had passed but when the door opened, she tensed again, shoulders pinched to keep straight.

A large muscled man walked into the room and sat in the chair. He grinned at her and glanced at the recorder than turned a knob on the side. He checked the time on his watch and then rested his chin on his hands, just staring at her.

Juliet shifted nervously.

The man simply smirked at her then pushed the play button.

"Stop it," Juliet heard herself plead. "Don't … please don't." Then another pleading cry … another … then a whimper. Each scream accompanied by a sickening thud and then a man's grunt.

The man pushed the stop button then stood. "Alright, sweetheart, time to make this look real." He reached over and unbuttoned Juliet's blouse, opening it completely. When she tensed, he sneered. "Don't flatter yerself. Y'ain't my type." He unbuttoned her jeans and unzipped them but left them around her hips.

Juliet tensed, staring blankly at the man whose features she clearly saw. Obviously he didn't think she'd be getting out of this alive. It terrified her. He stood and moved the table a little, letting it scrape along the floor then he walked to the door and waited. After about five minutes he unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, opening his belt. He grinned at her.

* * *

James narrowed his eyes, focused solely on Edmund and he struggled more visibly and managed to lunge out of the chair. The chair tipped and he landed hard on his knees then chest. The air pushed from his lungs, eyes wide and he gasped at the pain. He rolled onto the side, the chair crashing against the cement floor. "I'll kill ya."

Edmund laughed as the other muscle man walked towards James and kicked him in the abdomen. James curled in pain and moved with the chair, squirming on the floor backwards, in retreat. Edmund simply laughed and the muscled man followed him each step.

As he squirmed backwards, James felt along the floor frantically, trying to find something he could use to break his bonds. The flesh on his fingers sliced open with whatever metallic item he grabbed and he quickly fisted it, ignoring the pain as the big muscle picked him up by the collar, punched him in the face then forced him back into a seated position.

James grinned, eyes squinted slightly and he chuckled. "That all you got there, Huey?"

The man growled and punched him hard again across the face. James' head whipped to the side and he spat blood and saliva with the impact. He slouched in the chair and the air left his lungs again as the man punched him in the stomach once then again.

"That's enough," Edmund said and the muscle walked back to the door. Edmund grinned. "I want him conscious. How does that feel, James?"

"Peachy, Doc. Ya got a great bedside manner, ya know." He chuckled then spat again, the bloody spit landing in a plop on the cement. "I'm still gonna fuckin' kill ya."

"Really? How so, James? Do enlighten me. I'm just … titillated by the thought."

"I ain't figured that out yet. I'm real spontaneous, ya see." James taunted and his eyes moved quickly to the door when it opened. Silence within the room choked him as he saw the man buttoning and then zipping his jeans before refastening his belt.

James took a long slow breath. He knew Edmund was watching him, watching for a reaction and to show any hint meant that Edmund gained more confidence, more power. He couldn't give in to that, he couldn't let Edmund know he was winning. Because right now, James felt a part of him tear away, knowing what Juliet just endured at the hands of that giant wall of a man. He'd kill that bastard too … as well as Edmund.

A slow grin tugged at Edmund's features. "How do you feel, James? Comfy?"

James clenched his teeth a mere moment before casually meeting Edmund's eyes. "Perfect. Place could use a new coat a paint though … maybe cushions fer my chair."

The casualness irked Edmund and the man frowned and stood, slamming a hand down. "I don't think you are respecting the seriousness of your situation!"

James suppressed the grin inside. He could still get the upper hand. "And I don't think yer respectin' my creativeness."

"Get her!" Edmund barked and the man who attacked James walked from the room. A minute later he returned with a bound and gagged Juliet, tossing her towards the table. Juliet stumbled, her pants falling off her hips with the movement.

James' eyes flared at the sight of her and he worked quickly yet secretly, cutting away at the ties that bound his hands. He willed Juliet to meet his eyes and when she did, he held them. There was no fear in her gaze, no tears. She was hardened, cold and icy.

Edmund walked across the room and pulled out a hunting knife, the blade long and extremely sharp. He pointed to James with the knife and one of the muscle men picked up a lead pipe from the floor then walked towards James, simply standing behind him, waiting. James ignored him.

Juliet's eyes widened and she looked from the man with the pipe to Edmund. Edmund grinned. "Confused, dear? That's just my leverage. Get on the table." He pointed with the knife and Juliet carefully hopped up onto the table, sitting and watching Edmund cautiously. Edmund chuckled. "Good girl. You still know how to do what you're told."

Edmund approached her slowly, circling as predator would prey and then held the knife out to her throat. Juliet tensed and he smiled. "That's it … lay back." Juliet slowly obeyed him and swallowed as the knife pressed to her throat. Edmund reached down with his free hand to unbuckle his belt. "I think we shall let dear James watch our reunion, no?"

James tensed. "Juliet, look at me." At his words, the muscle at his side punched him in the stomach. "Keep your …" one more punch. "Eyes on me." He finally sighed then fell quiet, leaning over in the chair. His ribs exploded in pain and he prayed that nothing was punctured.

Juliet obeyed him, kept her eyes on him even when she heard Edmund unzip his jeans and push her legs apart. She swallowed hard, the fear consuming her but she refused to look away from James. His eyes, despite the obvious physical pained were calming and she sensed the calm within him.

Edmund raped those women for control. That's what James had said. She couldn't let him feel any control. She couldn't show fear. Indifference. It was her only weapon. With walls erected, she gazed passed James at the far wall and her expression softened, uncaring, haunting, icy and expressionless.

"Hey," Edmund snapped. "Look at me. Look at me, Juliet, or I will beat him!"

She didn't turn right away but when the man raised the lead pipe she turned her head and stared blankly into Edmund's eyes. She showed him no fear, no unease. Only pity.

He growled. "Don't you look at me like that!" He pressed the knife into her throat, breaking skin just slightly. She didn't flinch. He roared in frustration and slammed the knife into the table, the point puncturing the wooden table just beside her head. She jostled at the force but still didn't move, merely looked away and back at James. She smiled.

Edmund pulled back, zipping his jeans back up again and yanked the knife from the table, walking to James. "You … will die. Slowly and painfully. And when you are dying you will sit here and think of everything you've lost. And everything you never had. Because she was always … mine!"

James leaned forward. "She was never … yours. So we can play Doctor Mengele all you want. But no matter what ya do … she ain't yours."

"Mine!" Edmund yelled and held up a hand, pushing down his index finger. "Mine to use." Then pushed down his middle finger, counting off his statements. "Mine to manipulate. Mine to abuse. Mine to own."

James grinned, blood oozing from the corner of his mouth. "But she wasn't. You couldn't abuse her. You couldn't own her. Because she got away from you. On her terms. She divorced you, Edmund." James spoke slowly, manipulative. "She left you and you lost your control. And even now, you can't control her."

Edmund punched James across the face.

James rocked with the force and chuckled. "Nice try, Ali. But ya probably just hurt yer own hand with that one." Then laughed as Edmund shook out his hand. James opened and closed his mouth a few times, relaxing his jaw.

Edmund paced back to the table and jerked Juliet up onto her feet. Using the sharpened knife, he sliced the gag from her mouth, the tip of the knife skimming her cheek, drawing the slightest amount of blood. He tore the fabric away, eyes focused on his ex-wife. "Kiss me."

He spun her, ensuring James an excellent view of their profiles. He held the knife in the hand unseen by James and pressed the tip against her side, teasing the area between her ribs. Unwavering in his demand, he repeated it, voice deeper. "Kiss me."

Juliet swallowed hard, heart racing and she licked her lips. From the corner of her eye, she spotted the man with the pipe move closer to James. Defiantly, she lifted her chin and closed her eyes. Edmund cupped her cheek with his free hand firmly and tugged her closer, pulling her down as he lifted his face up to her and pressed his lips harshly to hers. He teased her mouth, his tongue coaxing tense lips to part. She refused him and he pressed the knife harder into her. The tip of the blade pierced her skin and she gasped, her lips parted in surprise.

Edmund deepened the kiss, claiming and Juliet responded slightly. James sagged, the muscles in his shoulders submitting and he closed his eyes, looking away. The man with the pipe gripped James' chin and forced his head to turn. "Watch," he growled in James' ear. "Or I'll break every bone in her body."

James opened his eyes and watched, his heart breaking. He understood the mind game, her desire to survive. Witnessing the spectacle stung, nonetheless.

Edmund slowed the kiss and pulled back, a victorious grin on his features. Juliet's eyes still closed, she hummed. "James …" Her eyes fluttered open, a genuine smile on her face but when she saw Edmund, the smile faltered. She turned her head to look at James and smiled tenderly, sweetly. Her expression illuminated with love, absolute adoration, her eyes warm and gentle, every emotion unmasked for James.

James' expression mirrored hers and the corners of his lips twitched before he smiled fully for her. He licked the blood from the corner of his mouth and chuckled. "Ya always did have the most amazin' mouth, Sweetheart." His eyes darkened at the statement and he shifted in his chair for good measure and hummed in memory.

"You never did that for me!" Edmund snarled at Juliet then brandished the knife towards James, eyes wild with rage. "She did that for you? She did, didn't she? Didn't she!"

James grinned, eyes challenging. "It felt so good. Oh … did you never have that experience? She never got on her knees for you? Her tongue is just … magic." He taunted; James knew he treaded the dangerous line with this psychopath but the longer Edmund focused on him and this, the longer Juliet had to survive, maybe even run.

Without hesitation and a roar of anger, Edmund plunged the knife into James' abdomen, aiming for the exact spot that would bring the most pain, and the longest death. He jerked the knife slightly, ensuring it embedded right to the hilt and Edmund leaned into the attack.

Juliet cried out, eyes wide as she watched James, his eyes fluttering at the pain, his body tensing. James jerked at the attack but refused to cry out.

Edmund pulled back with the knife and looked at the blood. He held the knife up, watching the red liquid swirl down the handle and over his hand. He licked the blood from the flat of the blade then grinned at James. "Goodbye, James. The last thing you will see of her … will be me … taking her away."

Juliet squirmed off the table to rush to James but Edmund grabbed her wrists and jerked her back to the table. He held the knife to her throat. "Don't move." He motioned for one of the muscles to come his way. "Fix her up."

The man didn't hesitate to button up her blouse then her pants and he grinned teasing her stomach with big calloused fingers during the process. She shivered, eyes still on James. James hunched over in the chair, head ducked. She could see the blood on his shirt, where once it was white. The stab wound bled near the side of his body, possibly grazing an organ. The knife, if dirty, could infect the wound. If he didn't die from the blood loss, his body would grow septic with infection.

She stumbled as Edmund dragged her to the door but she fought back, kicking the back of his knee. He tripped, the knee giving out and she raced back to James. One of the muscle men caught her and tossed her against the wall. The impact jarred her and she closed her eyes when the back of her head hit the wall hard.

Edmund grabbed her and held the bloody knife to the back of her throat. "You come with me … and once we are gone, I'll let you call 911. But you come peacefully or I'll let them carve him up a bit more."

Juliet's shoulders sagged and she nodded slowly in response. James glanced up at her, eyes blazing with the pain, but focused intently on her. Every emotion within him exposed to her.

"James," She cried as Edmund kicked open the door and pulled Juliet out, leaving James behind.


	22. Chapter 22

**Title**: Reload

**Author: **Crimson Coin

**Rating**: T. This is a tough one. T for teen possibly bordering on R for violence.

**Copyright:** This fan fiction is by no means intended to infringe on any copyright. I do not own the characters nor the series lost. My ideas are my own.

**Genre:** Drama/Romance

**Pairing:** The romantic pairing is Juliet/Sawyer – as per canon.

**Summary**: After a life of crime, Sawyer must prove himself worthy of an afterlife with Juliet. A continuation from the series finale.

* * *

Miles raced frantically around the meeting room, using thumb tacks to mark the giant map of Miami. As Trimm read off an address, Miles pushed the pin onto the map then finally stood back.

Flores nodded. "Ok so that is all of the homes Edmund Burke owns in Miami. We have a total of four buildings and a warehouse. Any news on the van?"

Fox shook his head. "Not yet. We have every unit looking for the damn thing."

Agent Harris approached the map. "He would take them some place comfortable, a place he would be undisturbed."

Miles pointed to one tack near the harbor. "The warehouse. As far as we can tell, it's abandoned. But Burke would know that is where we'd go first."

Trimm stood. "Then we go to all of them."

"Good idea," Harris said quickly. "Juan, you stay here … keep us all posted on the status of the van, if anything comes in. Hold a press conference, maybe somebody saw something. Describe the victims and the suspect. Maybe we can get hits. The van even."

Flores nodded. Harris turned to the other detectives. "Fox, Trimm take the warehouse. Straume, take Juarez and go to the apartment. I'll split my team up to cover the other two houses. I want swat at each location. Stay in constant radio contact, I want to know when we have the slightest hint of anything. We need choppers in the air. Flores, get news choppers up there too. Send a car to all the hospitals in the area, search them. Each minute that passes, our chances of finding them alive diminishes."

Miles swallowed hard. "Ford is damn resourceful. He'll stall as long as he can."

Harris watched, seriously, his eyes focused and calm. "Then we better hope he's the best, or we're already too late. Alright let's move."

* * *

Every muscle in James' body tensed as the door closed behind Juliet and Edmund. The ropes bound him though he almost cut through the restraint. His hands and wrists bled from where the metal cut through his skin. He worked quickly.

The man with the pipe grinned and knelt in front of James. "Ah … looks like it's just you … and us."

James grinned. "Yeah … I suppose it is." His ties broken, he attacked quickly, his right hand fisting whatever weapon he had and he lodged the metal shard in the muscle man's throat. Bringing both knees to his chest, he kicked hard, the momentum forcing his chair to tilt back and crash to the floor as the man collapsed.

The other muscle in the room raced to his friend a moment, giving James the short opportunity to more fully free his hands then jerk at the ties around his ankles. The rope tied tight, he couldn't loosen it. His opponent picked up the pipe, snarled a curse and stalked to James, brandishing the pipe high before swinging it down towards James' head.

James ducked his head to the side, barely dodging the impact and he swung his legs, the chair moving with him. The force slammed into the back of his opponent's knees and the man buckled, stumbling forward, the pipe flying from his hand at the blow. James squirmed in the chair, grunting as he tugged at the restraints, kicking his feet in an attempt to slip the rope off the leg of the chair.

With the pipe out of reach, James' opponent searched the electrical room for another weapon. James lost sight of the man for a few moments; glass shattered. When James saw him again, the man held a fire axe. James struggled, finally freeing his legs and rolled off the chair. The free arm wrapped around his waist, palm pressing into the bleeding knife wound. He forced his eyes focused, willed his body and adrenaline to rush. Juliet depended on him and if it killed him, he'd get to her.

The man grinned and swung the axe, arms outstretched. The axe head ripped through the air, and clashed loudly against another standing metallic chair, crashing the chair and bending it with the force.

James' eyes never faltered as he stared down his enemy, dodging best he can. One swing missed. The second missed. The third too close for comfort, slicing James' shirt open horizontally across his abdomen. He winced as the edge nicked his skin. As he stepped back, he reached behind him and gripped the metallic table pressing against the backs of his thighs. He waited for the next strike. His opponent lunged and the axe smashed into the table and stuck; James charged.

James shoulder plowed into the muscle man's side and both men crashed into a stack of metal trunks. The trunks buckled and scattered at the force and James dug his shoulder into the man's ribs as they hit the ground. The man groaned in pain and James rolled off, wincing as his muscles exploded in pain. He panted and pushed to his feet.

The muscle man moaned and winced. James clasped his arm around his waist, holding the knife wound with his hand as he searched the surrounding rubbish for a weapon. His eyes rested on the first muscle man and he hobbled towards the body, pulling the metal file from the man's neck. James turned quickly and gripped the file, eyes on the still living muscle man, crashing and stumbling out of the trunks.

"Come on, you sonuvabitch," James taunted under his breath. Calm and collected, he waited for his opponent. He fisted the file, the jagged, pointed edges protruding from the sides of his hand. As the man pushed to his feet, James charged again, jamming the edge of the file into the man's back, stabbing him once then again then thrusting the file into the man's side.

The muscle man yelled in pain at the thrust and collapsed into the trunks again, his hand reaching around for the file embedded in his side. James stumbled backwards and panted, resting against the table. He gripped the handle of the axe and with a groan of pain he tugged once then again, rocking the axe to free it from the table.

The axe swung with the momentum and he staggered with the weight before finding his balance. Releasing his side, he clenched the handle of the axe, ready to attack. His opponent struggled, moaned and then fell silent. James waited, counting the seconds. Neither muscle man moved.

James wavered, dropping to his knee as he panted, gasping for air. His eyes remained on the fallen man a moment before glancing to the other. The one he first attacked lay dead in a pool of his own blood, the other if not dead was certainly unconscious for now.

He couldn't stop.

Juliet

James planted the head of the axe into the concrete floor and pushed up back onto his feet. He pulled at his tattered shirt and glanced down. His chest along the sternum throbbed, darkening in color – likely from the accident and his subsequent punishments. He ignored the bruising and pressed his hand into the still seeping knife wound. He stumbled to the door where Edmund exited and pushed through.

The hallway lights flickered, dimming and then brightening. He continued down the hall, eyes forward, senses peaked. He listened, he sensed, he watched. At the first two doors, he heard nothing. At the third, marked 'Stairs', he heard footsteps. He pressed through and glanced up the stairs, enough to see a flash of red. Juliet's blouse was red. The high stairwell muffled any words they spoke, but he recognized Edmund's tone. Juliet remained silent except for the soft click of her footsteps.

He gripped the railing for the staircase, leaving a trail of blood behind him as he pulled himself up the stairs. Step by step, he focused on the movement, dragging the axe behind him. One foot … next foot … step. Step. Step. "Come on," he coaxed himself, teeth clenched. His body shuddered, chilled and he closed his eyes a moment, willing the control to return. "That's it. Come on, Ford. One foot. Step … step … she needs you."

At the first flight, his grip tightened on the rail and he looked up again. They continued walking, still going upward. Why wouldn't he have run? Why didn't he try to leave the building?

James' clenched his teeth, his stomach rolling at the thought. Edmund had no intention of leaving. James willed his feet to continue, step by step, climbing the stairs. He ignored any weakness in his body, the tiredness, the slight dizziness nagging his head. He had no time for it. If he caved to his body, she would die. By pushing himself, he could die. But at least he had the chance of saving her.

He promised her he had her back; he lied. He couldn't protect her. He never expected someone to try running them off the road. He never expected Edmund to hire help to commit the crimes. Edmund likely didn't hire the men for his previous murders. He could easily disarm a trusting woman before she could stop him. He hired those men for this only, to ensure he wasn't a problem.

James winced. The muscle heads did a good job on his body, but he was resilient. He had to be. Her life depended on him

Second flight

He swallowed the moan rising to his lips as he continued up the stairs. He pushed harder, climbing faster. He didn't know how much time he had. He distracted his thoughts from the pain, focusing on Juliet, on their life together.

He had to save her, because he had yet to tell her he loved her. She deserved that. He had to tell her before he died. His step quickened.

He remembered the way she would eye him with absolute disbelief when she caught him bullshitting her. He grinned at the memory. She could always see right through him, no secrets. Part of him hated that he could hide nothing, she knew if something was wrong, if he was upset or angry or lying. Not that he always wanted to lie to her, but there were times he just didn't want to tell her everything. And yet with her patience and kindness, she crawled under his skin until he just spilt his guts; and she acted as if it was his idea.

Third Flight

_He remembered two months ago when he completely forgot a dinner date they planned and instead went to the pool hall with Miles and the boys_. _His memory clicked three hours after the fact when the restaurant called his cell phone to inquire about the reservation and the fact that they no showed. He left the bar right after, the ribbing from the boys following him out the door._

_He raced to her apartment, unwilling to think of any consequences. When he finally reached her apartment and knocked, she opened the door, wearing her pajamas. She quirked a brow at him, expectantly then crossed her arms over her chest._

_James had smiled nervously. "I'm sorry, Babe, I got caught up at work and …" he had trailed off when she reached over and pulled a cocktail napkin out of his pocket upon which was written the name 'Candy' and a cell phone number._

_She glanced at the number then tucked it back into his pocket and closed the door._

Fourth Flight

_He reached out to stop the door from closing and pushed inside. "I was at the pool hall with Miles, Fox and Trimm. I totally forgot. It was a damn rough day and … we were just tryin' to escape a little and it blew my mind, I'm sorry Babe."_

"_It's alright, James. I understand."_

_James pulled the number out of his pocket and tossed it in the trashcan. "She was at the bar when I had to buy the next round for losin' to Trimm and she just flirted and stuck it there. I totally forgot it was there, I swear it."_

_She turned to look at him and sighed. She looked tired, a little lost. He never saw that in her expression before. So often she was strong, stoic and almost hard. But not now. "James, I'm tired. It's late and I have to work early tomorrow."_

_He closed the distance between them and swept her into his arms. "Then I'm putting you to bed."_

_She tensed slightly in his arms, obviously unused to such treatment._

_He grinned when she pressed her face into his throat and he chuckled when she inhaled. He licked his lips. "No matter how much ya smell, Babe, ya ain't gonna find any other perfume on me but yours."_

_She pulled back a little, unsettled that he called her on her actions so quickly._

Fifth Flight

_He smirked at her and set her on the bed then sat beside her. "Let me make it up to you. Please."_

"_I hope you can be creative," she teased with a weak smile._

_He chuckled and nodded. "Course I can." He glanced to her closet and frowned, spotting the black cocktail dress hanging on the hanger._

"_Your loss. I was wearing that three hours ago."_

_He muttered a curse and looked back to her. "You serious?"_

"_Mmm hmm," She hummed and settled back in the bed. "Your loss."_

"_Oh I'll make it up to you. And you'll have that on again just so I can peel it off."_

_She eyed him skeptically._

"_Should I just let myself out?"_

"_No … you're here now and I don't feel like getting up to lock the door."_

_James grinned, kicking off his boots and shrugging out of his coat. He tossed it to the floor then reached for his shirt but Juliet reached out to stop him._

"_Lock the doors and turn off the lights." Then smirked. "And there's a blanket on the back of the couch." She patted his hand and lay down, turning her back to him. "Night, James."_

_He chuckled. "Alright, I suppose I deserve the couch for a night. But I'll get you back."_

_To his word, he did. Juliet awoke the next morning to the smell of bacon cooking in her kitchen and James' identifiable humming._

Sixth Floor

James paused outside the door to the roof of the apartments; the stairs ended here. He swallowed hard, closing his eyes a moment in concentration, disciplining his mind on the task at hand. He pushed through the door.

Outside, James dropped to one knee, head ducked and his eyes closed. His stomach lurched and he swallowed the rising nausea. Forcing his eyes open, he looked around. The flat roof was dark and the air-conditioning units sat along the roof in no particular pattern. He heard Edmund but didn't see him yet.

James walked quickly up to the closest unit and pressed his back against it near one corner. He breathed once then again then peered around the side. A bright spot light shown over the roof, scanning and then stopped. He looked up to see a news helicopter and he could only assume the spotlight stopped on Edmund. Edmund yelled at the helicopter and James' fears confirmed.

He gripped the axe handle tightly then snuck to the opposite side, attempting to flank Edmund.

Edmund forced Juliet to the edge of the apartment and she staggered slightly, losing her balance. She closed her eyes when Edmund cut her bonds and he pushed her to the edge. She stumbled again, willing herself to balance as she peered down the sloping edge of the building. A cement lip surrounded the flat roof yet beyond the lip, the roof sloped, covered with solar panels.

James watched her stagger and then he stepped out from behind the closest air-conditioning unit. "Edmund!"

Edmund turned instantly, eyes narrowed. "You should be dead!"

Juliet's wide eyes glanced over her shoulder to see James and she felt dread and relief. The exertion from walking up those stairs should certainly have killed him yet there he stood, eyes intense. His color, paled and his arm trembled.

Edmund glared. "Tic toc, James. You can't be in two places at once." He pressed the tip of the knife to Juliet's back and her body arched away from the pierce. Edmund grinned. "Do you come after me … and stop the deaths of how many more … or do you save her?" Edmund shoved her.

James' eyes widened as he watched her arms circle, her body sway to regain balance and with a cry, she slipped. "No!" He cried and dropped the axe, racing to the edge of the building. Edmund turned the opposite way and ran.

James focused solely on Juliet. He faintly heard someone, maybe Miles yell 'Freeze,' but he wasn't sure. He didn't care. He dropped to his knees, leaning over the side of the cement lip. "Juliet!"

She clung to the edge of the building, down the sloping shingles. He saw her arms and head, most of her body hanging off the edge. She cried his name.

Her fear evident, the trembling of her voice. Without hesitation, he dove over the edge of the roof, and crawled over the solar panels, the blood from his wound helped him slide down. At the edge, he bent his knees and slammed the toes of his boots into the solar panel. The panel shattered and the glass pierced his legs at his ankles. He anchored himself with that panel, ignoring the constant piercing pain of the glass and reached for her as her grasp slipped. She screamed. He grabbed her hand, his right hand clinging tightly to her wrist. "Where you think you're goin', Blondie?"

Juliet glanced up at him, gazing at his hard eyes and his chiseled features. His head, arms and the top part of his chest visible to her over the ledge. Her hand tightened around his wrist, clinging desperately. She whimpered and faintly heard him grunt. His arm trembled, holding tightly to her. Blood slowly trailed down his arm and neck and she watched it pool at his chin then drip.

"Hold on! You hold on!" he demanded, eyes focused yet his complexion so pale.

She cried, blinking a few times. "I … I can't." She felt her grip slip, the sweat and blood slicking her hold.

"I got you!" He snarled at her, his grip tightening still.

"I … I can't," she repeated and whimpered, tears streaming down her face. It felt as though he crushed her wrist, her shoulder screamed in pain, her muscles on her arms burned and ached from the weight of her own body hanging from nothing but his hand. Her hand slipped on his wrist.

"Ah … Juliet … no!" He pleaded and clenched his teeth. His arm tightened as he tried to pull her up but his muscles so weak from blood loss, he had not the strength to lift her. Only to hold. "You hold on." He felt her slip again. "Ah! No! I got you."

Juliet whimpered and focused on the blood at his chin.

"Don't you leave me!" He yelled to her and tightened his hold still, reaching over with his other hand to grab her arm with both hands.

Juliet panted, eyes resolute, calm. "It's ok." She couldn't let him die. He lost so much blood; every second he held on, was another second added to his death sentence.

"Don't you leave me!" He repeated, more forcefully, tears in his eyes, pleading and he shook his head. Sweat dripped from his brow and his hair.

Juliet sobbed, voice trembling, tears dripping from her eyes, marring her cheeks. "I love you."

"No, you don't let go!"

"I love you, James."

"Don't let go!"

Her grip loosened. "I love you so much."

"No! No, don't let go!" He commanded her, hands tight on her wrist and he leaned over more, forcing his body to hang more over the edge as his other hand gripped her forearm. He felt her slipping, the mix of blood and sweat inhibiting his hold.

She let go.

"No!" He yelled at her and his grip tightened still, his body trembling, supporting her full weight. She didn't fall, his grip too tight though now without her help, he supported all her weight and the flesh tore in his legs where he anchored himself. "Grab me … Grab me!"

"James …" she sobbed.

"If you fall … I'm divin' after you. Grab me … Grab me god damn it!"

Her hand trembling, she obeyed him, gripping his wrist again. He felt the weight lessen as her muscles supported some of her own weight, the dead pull on his arms lessened. His shoulders burned, his arms felt they were pulled from the sockets but he refused to release.

"James, let me go."

"Hell no." He snarled between clenched teeth. "Yer supposed to say you love me when yer layin' under me not hangin' off a god damn building. Take my hand. Use yer other hand and grab my arm. I can't pull ya up." He panted, his vision fading from the blood loss, the edges of his sight line turning white. "I ain't got time, Baby! Do it!"

She obeyed again, willing her other hand to grip his arm. His muscles tightened and she couldn't stop her tears, but willed some semblance of control to return.

"You have to climb up, Baby. I'm gonna pull as hard as I can … and you're gonna climb up my body. You hear me? I've seen ya goin' to the gym. Ya got the guns. Now do it. You ready? Do it! Do it!" He yelled fiercely and his eyes closed.

She felt his muscles tense as he tried to pull her up. The sheer determination in his expression brought more tears to her eyes and she planted a foot against the side of the building. The sole slipped as she tried to pull and walk up the building but she never gave up and as she felt his muscles trembling with her weight, she reached a little higher.

Her left hand gripped his bicep, clenching the fabric of his shirt and she risked to release her other hand and wrapped it around his shoulders. His body tightened as he supported more of her weight. His hands shifted, reaching down as one grabbed the back of her thigh and the other offered leverage to her foot.

She climbed over his body, finally steady and sobbed and cried at the sight of him, his legs punctured by the panels, his body broken and bloody. His entire shirt, no longer white and now red. She scrambled to the panels and pulled on him then reached over to his hips, pulling hard on his pants to ease him back from the edge. She moved him only an inch or two, but it was enough to loosen the broken panel on his legs and she pulled his legs out.

James rolled over onto his back. "God damn hippies," He murmured, eyes closed at the bright lights from the news helicopter. Juliet crouched at his side, trembling, shocked. She hesitated a moment before ripping open his shirt.

He smirked a crooked smile, panting, voice a mere whisper. "Told ya … ya'd rip my shirt open …"

She choked on a laugh and nearly gagged at the sight of his torso. Her eyes glanced down his legs to his wounds near his ankles before she focused on the stab wound. She ripped open her shirt, ignoring her own pain and discomfort and tore it off then pressed the fabric hard into the stab wound. "Don't leave me."

"Great rack," James smiled, the adrenaline finally drained from his body, his muscles relaxed. "Damn … hippy panels." His expression fell and he licked the blood from his lips.

Juliet felt him slip away, felt his body give in to the darkness. "No! James!"

"Juliet …" he whispered.

She couldn't hear the rest of his words and refused to hear them. If she never heard him, he didn't say goodbye.

"Juliet …" he gurgled. "Love … you ... back."

Her throat clenched as a strangled sob slipped out.

He blacked out.

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**Author's Note:** One more chapter to go. Does he live? Does he die? You decide!


	23. Chapter 23

**Title**: Reload

**Author: **Crimson Coin

**Rating**: T. This is a tough one. T for teen possibly bordering on R for violence.

**Copyright:** This fan fiction is by no means intended to infringe on any copyright. I do not own the characters nor the series lost. My ideas are my own.

**Genre:** Drama/Romance

**Pairing:** The romantic pairing is Juliet/Sawyer – as per canon.

**Summary**: After a life of crime, Sawyer must prove himself worthy of an afterlife with Juliet. A continuation from the series finale.

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Pain

He couldn't identify where it was coming from, possibly everywhere. He didn't want to open his eyes. The rhythmic beeping of medical machines lulled him.

"Wakie wakie Ford, I see your eyes fluttering."

James moaned, his head moving slowly from one side to the other. He didn't recognize the voice but … it was so familiar.

"I know how to get him up."

That voice was Miles. He'd know that annoying voice anywhere.

"How?"

"Hey … Hey Fox check that out."

"Where?"

Miles grinned. "Never noticed before. But Juliet's pretty damn hot. Look at her out in the hall there … bending over that bed there. An ass you could just cup in your hands. She can bend over my desk any day."

James fought the darkness and moaned then licked his lips. The voice that came from him was unrecognizable. "I'll rip yer head off."

Fox laughed. "There he is! Knew you were too stubborn to die, Ford."

James forced his eyes opened and stared up at the ceiling. He couldn't move. Tight bandages wrapped his legs and chest, both of his ankles elevated just slightly. He tilted his head to the side then another, taking in the machines. Pads pressed to his chest, IV's in his arms and he groaned.

"How you feel?"

James focused on the source of the voice. Trimm. He scowled. "How you think I feel, T?"

Fox chuckled. "Like a damn Mac truck hit you, I'll bet."

"Yeah, somethin' like that." He squirmed a bit. "Juliet. Where … where's Juliet?"

Trimm reached out, pressing a hand on James' chest to ease him down again. "She's here. Delivering a Baby."

"What?"

Fox laughed. "Yeah can ya believe it? You've been out for four days."

Trimm nodded, expression serious. "She hasn't left your side, you know." And with a nudge of the head, he motioned for James to look to the side.

James tilted his head and looked to the bed beside him. It was empty though freshly made and Juliet's incidentals set on the nearby table. "Juliet …"

Miles smirked and hopped onto that bed, feet dangling. "She's been sleeping here. Guess when you're a top doc in the joint, ya get some perks."

Seriously, James looked up at Trimm, his eyes dazed from sleep. "Edmund … what happened?"

Miles grinned brightly. "I do believe I made the arrest of the century. He's currently in custody."

James sighed in relief. "What about the two men … downstairs?"

"Dead," Trimm answered simply. "You did good work on them."

James nodded again then shifted his weight, struggling against the restraints on his legs. He reached up to his chest. "I … gotta see her." And he tugged on the probes for the heart monitor. The machine flat lined.

Juliet walked down the hallway back to James room. She'd changed out of the bloody smock and gloves from the delivery but still wore the scrubs. She reached up to pull the tie from her hair, ran her fingers through the strands and then retied her hair into a tight ponytail.

James' room was just ahead. It had been four days since Edmund took her, since she watched James die. He survived for so long until they had him in the emergency room and during surgery, she heard the haunting flat line of his heart monitor, the familiar frantic actions in the room. Her legs had given out and she nearly collapsed, falling into one of the chairs.

She mourned instantly as other doctors pulled at her, trying to get her into another room. She knew she needed medical attention, to make sure nothing was broken or worse. But she couldn't tear herself away.

She wiped the tears from her eyes, racing to the door of the operating room to peer in through the small window. She swallowed the lump in her throat as the doctor rubbed two paddles together, looked at the nurse and everyone pulled back. James' body jerked and arched with the power of the jolts.

Flatline.

The nurse fiddled with the machine as the doctor demanded a higher voltage.

Clear

James arched.

The heart monitor beeped, rhythmic and steady.

Juliet smiled softly at the memory, flooded again with relief that he was alive. His condition was critical, but stable. He survived. And she could nearly sob again with joy. Her smile fell as she heard the flat lined heart monitor again. "No …" she whispered and raced down the hall, tears springing to her eyes the closer she came to James' room and the realization where the incessant sound originated.

James struggled against Trimm as he tried to pull out the IV.

Juliet stood at the door, tears in her eyes in shock before doctors and nurses pushed passed her. The one nurse frowned. "Sir, what are you doing? Sir, you can't do that!"

"I gotta … Juliet …" James frowned and struggled but too weak, he let Trimm push him down again.

Juliet stepped forward. "James?"

He smiled at her, complacent. "Hey Blondie."

She tensed as she walked to the bed, watching as the nurse reinserted his IV. "You stupid ass, I'm walking down the hall way and hear you flat lining and all because … I could ring your neck, you know that! Doing this to me!"

His eyes softened as he looked at her and his heart monitor came back, steady and persistent. "I had yer back … I promised you."

She took his hand and squeezed. "You did," eyes slightly teary. "James you … I watched you die."

"Ya ain't that lucky. I'm still here."

She choked on a laugh and ducked her head into his hand, nuzzling the fingers. "I have a feeling you're going to be a horrible patient."

"Ya got that right."

She kissed his hand then looked at him, reaching up to slide her fingers through his hair. The nurse watched him with narrow eyes and shook her head. "I'll be right back, Dr. Burke." The nurse stepped passed the detectives and out of the room.

Miles stood by the door with Trimm and Fox. "Now Ford, remember. No strenuous activity. But I'd be happy to take your place, you know should the lady need a warm bed." Then winked at Juliet.

Juliet laughed at him and shook her head. "Goodbye, Miles."

Fox laughed too and patted Miles back. "Good try there, Straume."

Miles shook his head. "Worth a shot. Figure with him layin' there lookin' like shit, it was the best chance I had."

Trimm chuckled. "No chance in hell, Straume. No chance in hell." He guided the other detectives out of the room, leaving James and Juliet alone.

James closed his eyes a moment. "I'm still gonna rip his face off … He was talkin' about cuppin' yer ass in his hands and bendin' ya over a desk."

"Well you don't have to worry about him. There's only one cop cupping my ass or bending me anywhere anytime soon."

He grinned at that. "I knew it … you and Trimm."

She frowned and nodded. "Oh yes. The man I never met before today. That's it I just saw him and couldn't resist. It was like fate. We were in my office, right there on the desk."

He scowled at that and eyed her, narrowed and intense.

Juliet smirked slowly and leaned forward to kiss his hand again. "I tease you, James."

The nurse walked back into the room with a long syringe. She tapped the needle then stood at the bedside, eyes firm as she added the medication to his IV. James frowned. "Alright, Nurse Ratched, what the hell is that?

Juliet chuckled and rolled her eyes. "It's likely a pain reliever, possibly a sedative. Don't worry, it's perfectly ok. And her name is Betty and she's a very lovely nurse. Thank you, Betty."

The nurse smiled at Juliet. "You're welcome, Dr. Burke." She eyed James a moment. "Now if you move again, we'll have to restrain you so you don't hurt yourself. And I'll be happy to do it after the stunt you just pulled."

James scowled as the woman left the room then turned to Juliet. "Nurse Betty? No … Nurse Ratched. Cuz that battle axe is no Renee Zelwegger."

Juliet laughed at him and shook her head, affectionately stroking a hand down his rough jaw. "Betty is a wonderful nurse, I'll have you know." Her hand moved to his lips and she touched the corners. "You probably have a bad taste in your mouth."

He winced. "Yeah you could say that." Then yawned.

She stood and poured some water from the bed stand into a small cup. Reaching over she lifted his head slightly, arm cradling him. "Here … just swish it around a little." She poured the little bit of water into his mouth and watched as he swirled the water then swallowed. She frowned. "You were supposed to spit it back into the cup."

"That's nasty. Don't want you seein' that." He grinned teasingly then laid back again, eyes half closed from the medication pumping through his veins. He fought the effect valiantly.

"You saved me, James." She whispered and tears stung her eyes again. "I let go but … you didn't."

"Don't you ever let go again. I'm not going through all that a second damn time."

"I won't," She whispered and smiled for him. She clenched his hand, watching as his eyes fluttered shut. His grip never released even in sleep and she resumed her position in the chair beside the bed.

He smirked. "Not asleep yet, Blondie."

"Stop fighting it. You need to rest. Because they're going to have you up on your feet in no time and you're going to wish they let you sleep."

He muttered a few unintelligible words before his head lulled to the side and he succumbed to the sleep.

Her smile remained as she watched him sleep. He risked everything for her without hesitation. Even when she let go, resigned to her own death, he held tight and refused to release her. She didn't think it possible to love the man more but as she sat on the rolling stool in the hospital room, she knew her heart could burst with the burning affection she harbored for this unconventional, maddening and absolutely wonderful man.

Maybe when he awoke, she could tell him that. But knowing James, he'd do something so exasperating, she'd forget. Juliet smiled, ducking her head to slowly kiss his fingers before disentangling her hand from his. With a relaxed sigh she stretched out on the empty hospital bed and picked up her book from the bed stand.

**FIN**

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**Author's Final Note:** And that's all she wrote for this story. I would love to know what you thought of the entire fic and this ending. I know I left a lot unanswered and I do have the plans for a sequel if anyone would be interested in reading. I'm I have an island reset story, a real world reset story and this sequel that I'm working on. Let me know which you want first. Thank you so much for sticking with me through this. So by all means review me on the story or to let me know what kind of story you want to see from me next.


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